This always happens to me: I get strong IOIs from a woman and she gives me her real number and picks up the phone the first time I call. Once she talks to me over the phone she gets bored and says she has to get back to something sounding bored. Or once we go on the first date, she agrees to go on another date, but flakes out. Or we go on two dates, she says "the date was very low key, but fun" I call her again after a few days and leave a voicemail, and she never calls back. Or she asks for my number, calls me first! gives me strong IOIs and acts like I am her bf on the first date, we kiss (but I'm terrible at kissing due to lack of experience), at the end of the date she does not give me a kiss on the cheek back (but she did at the beginning of the date) and I leave her a voicemail and she does not call me back.

I'm thinking I'm negative, boring, and push women away due to pathologically feeling rejected and don't connect to women easily.

Anyone have similar experience with not getting 2nd or 3rd dates with women? Can you describe in detail the series of events? What did you do on the date, how much did you call her and talk on the phone, did you text?, did you kiss on the cheeck, hug, or make out? how were you dressed, and what did the girls say. I am talking about women I met in real life, NOT online dating.

i have the same date routine now for a while, when i arrange date, i am vaugue as to my plans, i shoot out 2 seperate days the date can take place so if she flakes i know its due to lack of interest, i will just say, IM PLANNING SOMETHING OUT WED/THUR I WANT YOU TO COME, OR I'D LOVE YOU TO COME,

next when i show up, i say, couldn't think of anything clever, you hungry?,

no matter what she says yes or no, i say, ok well lets go to my house,

she either just accepts this or says no,

after a no, I say, ok, well lets go see a movie at the mall, usually she is down for this, often when we get there i will redirect the date into shopping, ill just hit on her and escalate, then at end of date, i will lead into how the day was, then i will tease her about being scared to go to my house, usually when followed through with, they challenge and shit test, (why would i be scared *usually its like an automated response like all girls say the same shit*, then i tease some more, usually with WELL WHO KNOWS WHAT COULD HAPPEN AT MY HOUSE, then, they usually shit test,

i wouldn't let anything happen/nothing would happen
what would you rape me etc.

then i go into a gambit about how, obviously i would just make you spaghetti... *in my room* and i say this in a non chalant manner then redirect convo in another direction fast, if she calls it out, i stay congruent with it, usually ends in a day 3 at my house to ''WATCH A MOVIE'' or we go to my house then and there, or she flakes on day 3, but usually shows fake interest in haveing a day 3 at my house, i then just do my regular freeze out cycle and ping her with texts and attempt another house date, eventually number either shows up, or goes cold, but allways keep pinging

It can be A LOT of reasons. I used to have the same problem and it was because my game wasnt tight enough.

However, i feel that it is possibly because you havent qualified her. I know you fear rejection, but qualification is essential to any set. You need to make it known to her why you are even bothering to connect.

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Bow chika wow wow

Can you expand on what, specifically wasn't "tight" enough in your game? I keep having situations where I can usually get some flirty texts back (if i text first) or at least 1st date out of situation. During the date there would be IOI's, a kiss at the end, kino escalation,etc.

I think i'm doing something wrong between the kiss at the end of D1 until D2 (if there is a D2). It has always been my nature to make dating as effecient as possible so I'm guessing my texts/calls are not longer keeping her attractive level up. . . . and as one would expect, the hotter the girl, the more unlikely I would ever see her again.

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"Walls aren't put in our life to stop us, they are there to test how much we really want somthing."
— Randy Pausch

For me being "tight" is when i have control of the interaction. I take risks such as getting her to tell me things, or getting to do things that would impact her emotional connection to me. Tight is also being able to keep my attractive, fun, feisty vibe, who doesn't kiss her ass while being able to read her personality and relate to her thus helping me establish deep rapport. This way i keep the attraction level up while increasing her comfort level as well. Most importantly tight is when i could feel im the one looking for reasons to continue seeing her and not the other way around.

I think you need to find a way to make your "getting to know each other" phase more fun and exciting. It is also possible you are starting to give off a clingy needy vibe and wanting guarantees that she likes you.

What you need to change is the mindset of "does she like" to "do i like her."

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Bow chika wow wow

so if i left her a message saying "hey i have sometihng you might like. check this out..." and played a barry white song on her answering machine after the first date. and she did not call me back, should I call her back again after a week or two? people keep telling me that women like to be pursued, but she has not called back after the first voicemail.

Three points:

1. Why should she call you back, you didn't ask her a question or ask for a response.

2. That was actually kinda creepy. Like, you went on one date and are tellin a girl this could be our song. It may not be what happened, but if I interpreted it like that its very possible she did.

3. Those people are morons. Regardless of what kind of game you run, the one constant is that while women LIKE to be pursued, they are ATTRACTED to confidence and independence. nothing will get them to come to you faster than proving that you are willing to walk away from their pussy.

2. The Barry White song voicemail was probably creepy. Won't be leaving a song on a girl's message machine any time soon again.

3. I thought what the heck, and called her today, a week and a half after the first time I called her and left a message on her voice machine and she did not call me back again.

I think I got a lot of issues like negativity, feeling rejected, not sure what I want from them, and feeling embarassed to flirt and so on, that are driving the women away once they spend some time with me alone.

Anyone know of activities that can help you have fun and bond with the girl on the first date that can make her want a second and third date with you?

First off don't leave voicemail. I don't really know if you always have to call a woman (I have txt only relationships myself) and go for the classics. Movies, parks ect. Finally yes its pretty freakin obvious women LIKE to be pursued, the problem is thats all they will do to you too. They will LIKE you, that isnt what your were after right? Yuup thats more like it, women like being pursued, but CRAVE someone worthy of them to pursue, become worthy and make em chase you. Why do you have to txt/call first? set up dates? women are (probly XD) capable of this, let them show why you should talk to them

This girl called me first and left a voicemail that she wants to meet. I think you have to call first to take the lead and also it shows women you are interested.