Im bringing frame control out of the scenario of 'girls'. This is on life. Making friends, dealing with people that make fun of you. Help would be appreciated.

1. I wore a shirt that said Swag on it. One of my roommates friends at college brought it up and said he couldnt stop laughing when he saw it. There were two possibilities: call him out and say I do have swag or laugh along and do not respond. Unfortunately, I chose #2 and conformed to his 'frame' of me. He most likely thought of me as a shy, person with 'no swag' Was this a bad idea?
And this brings me to a point: Sometimes no matter how you try to 'control' a frame, their perception of you CANNOT change because it is reality to them and you. i.e. they will always think of me as a nerdy kid since Im skinny, wear glasses, etc. That is just their perception because of reality. Therefore, would it be better to physically try and change rather than forcibly try and change others opinion of you? i.e. trying to convince them youre not a nerd... Its not gonna happen.

2. Similar example. We're hanging out watching people in my dorm. Someone (this douchebag) says 'I want to see you and Peter wrestle' and starts laughing (with obvious intent). -> implication that me and peter are nerdy. How would you approach this? laugh it off? I was actually pretty offended by this and was thinking of standing up to myself. My frame broke down because I realized I am what he said. So I was thinking of just insulting him back. But I just let it go. (my friend Peter was unperturbed by this and didnt respond)

Im thinking of sick and tired of trying to use little stupid tricks to change their opinion of me and try to be friends with them. I should just stand up for myself for once and insult them back and be done with it.

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Just trying to meet a 10.

1. from what i gather, the ''frame'' he set for you, was your shirt was incongruent from your persona, the idea of frame control is being in control of the frame, since that is the frame, if you are in control of the frame, you alter the frame to what you want it to be, if you just seriously agree, yeah i got no swag, so what, you are reacting to his claim and accepting his frame, nothing is really wrong with this, just shows that he had frame control, he created a negative frame for you, and you jumped into his frame,

if someone presents you with a negative frame, generally it is a wise descision to not jump into that frame, it is better to either, re-frame, or ignore that frame and don't accept it into your reality, another common thing to do, is accept the negative frame, but exagerate it to the point where it is not a possible reality,

a re-frame for you, could have been, you laugh and say you fucking jelous?
(the re-frame is he is jelous of your shirt, and it is congruent, if he accepts this frame, then the underlying meaning to this interaction, is, your swag shirt is congruent to you, and he is jealous of it, how ever more then likely he will not accept this frame and a frame war will begin, welcome to the world of frame control)

2) same choices, obvious re-frame is, YEAH CAUSE YOU WANT TO JERK OFF TO US (the frame is he is gay and wants to watch you wrestle, same senario as before, you can re-frame or just not accept the frame, either way the re-frame is either going to put you in a positive light or start a frame war)