How can i improve my text game?



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Breeam
PostPosted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 9:33 am 
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Met this really cute girl at a house party, we were pretty flirty and I got her number. So I text her the day after the party:

Me: Hey, you're the only person i remember from last night :L probably cause you're really cute. Happy birthday btw x [14:24]

Her: Whos this? x [14:25]

Me: Kyle, I was the horribly drunk one x [14:26]

Her: hahahaa.thought it might be you :L you wernt that drunkk were you? :O thank you for wishing me a happy birthday :) x [14:41]

Me: Oh i was so bad, definitely feeling it now. I think you've stolen my aviators too :) x [14:55]

Her: hahaa aw bles you, i went to town and still aint hungoveer its brilliant :D but tbh will defoo be feeling it tomorrow haha.. noo i never i wore them for 5 secs you took a pic and i gave them back x [14:57]

Me: yeah yeah likely story. No hangover? I hate you now :) you towning it tonight? x [15:00]

Her: hahaa.. nope :D i never really get hungover.. usually feel it days later.. :L thanks :O of coursee i am its my birthday! are you?x [15:01]

Me: I always get day long hangovers, wanna trade? Not sure yet, no one interesting is going. x [15:05]

Her: haa unlucky! no ill pass ;D im happy nott being hungover.. aah fair enough, well if you go down, gimmie a text x [15:06]

Me: ill let you keep those aviators you stole, if you trade :P go to casino and gamble away your money it's always fun x [15:10]

Her: i didnt stealll theemm!! ive got my own i dont need your cheap primark ones that you cant even see out of ;D haa defoo not!!! x [15:11]

Me: You wont get away with this :P right im off to drop a mate at work, probably still drunk tbh :L might ring/text you later deoending how much ive forgiven you x [15:15]

Her: whateverrr.. okay :L haha, have a good day! i should be forgiven its my birthday!x [15:18]

And this is later on, i was feeling really rough so didnt put any thought into these ones :)

Me: Ive forgiven you but only this once :P not going to town tonight cause im dying, had a good day so far? x [19:27]

Her: hahaa good!! :D aw you suckaa.. yeah its been gooddd.. yours? x [19:52]

Me: My days been spent in bed :L glad your days been good so far. you should come to town next thursday :) x [20:28]

Her: you saddo!! :L haha. i joke. maybee.. im going monday and next sat x [20:41]

Me: ahh you loser, if you come thursday you'll get to see me ;) x [21:12]

Her: noooo ;D x [21:43]

Just found out about the PUA stuff so any advice would be great.


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pumpington
PostPosted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 10:31 am 
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Quote:
Met this really cute girl at a house party, we were pretty flirty and I got her number. So I text her the day after the party:

Me: Hey, you're the only person i remember from last night :L probably cause you're really cute. Happy birthday btw x [14:24]
(your making her really important to you, when she should really not have very much significance to you, after all you just met and have not had sex, or a long term friendship, basicly you explained you needed a reason to text her and that reason was her looks, imo bad form)
Her: Whos this? x [14:25]
(she responds with low interest)
Me: Kyle, I was the horribly drunk one x [14:26]
(lowering your value, nice to use a call back joke or emotional anchor but a negative emotional anchor is a bad idea)
Her: hahahaa.thought it might be you :L you wernt that drunkk were you? :O thank you for wishing me a happy birthday :) x [14:41]
(she doesn't remember much about you that night so she re-iterates your negative anchor as that is all she has to go on, she introduces a hoop for you to negatively frame yourself in, but apprieciates you wished her happy birthday)
Me: Oh i was so bad, definitely feeling it now. I think you've stolen my aviators too :) x [14:55]
(you jump into negative frame, re-affirm negative anchor, start talking from a selfish point of view)
Her: hahaa aw bles you, i went to town and still aint hungoveer its brilliant :D but tbh will defoo be feeling it tomorrow haha.. noo i never i wore them for 5 secs you took a pic and i gave them back x [14:57]
(she presents positive frame of herself from selfish point of view, but validates you by saying she still does get hangovers and she is human like you, she then show further disinterest by recalling disinterest from previous night, re-affirming another negative anchor around you)
Me: yeah yeah likely story. No hangover? I hate you now :) you towning it tonight? x [15:00]
(you dismiss her previous statement and that is a good choice, you call her out, good choice and the smiley face takes the sting off of the word HATE so it can not be associated as an insult but a tease, then you show interest in her with a leading question, she at this point is expecting that you are going to ask her to do something with you)
Her: hahaa.. nope :D i never really get hungover.. usually feel it days later.. :L thanks :O of coursee i am its my birthday! are you?x [15:01]
(re-asserts positive frame, re-asserts but she is human, liked your tease, thinks your leading question was pointless and points that out, she considers it was obvious that she was going out on her birthday, leads you into asking her what she knows your leading question was getting at)
Me: I always get day long hangovers, wanna trade? Not sure yet, no one interesting is going. x [15:05]
(you qualify yourself to her, then seek her approval, tell her you don't have plans btw this DLV)
Her: haa unlucky! no ill pass ;D im happy nott being hungover.. aah fair enough, well if you go down, gimmie a text x [15:06]
(she validates you, re-asserts positive frame of herself, is frustrated that you didn't ask her out since she thought the leading question was leading to that so she hints at you she wants you to go out with her, but she doesn't want to be the one leading the interaction so she doesn't invite you anywere just gives you opportunity to invite her)
Me: ill let you keep those aviators you stole, if you trade :P go to casino and gamble away your money it's always fun x [15:10]
(you give her approval from a selfish point of higher value, but offer the approval in the form of an ultimatem and she must negatively frame herself to accept your approval)
Her: i didnt stealll theemm!! ive got my own i dont need your cheap primark ones that you cant even see out of ;D haa defoo not!!! x [15:11]
(she refuses to negatively frame herself, rejects ultimatum, most likely wanted the approval but just will not negatively frame herself to get it, and she negatively frames you without urself doing it for the 1st time)
Me: You wont get away with this :P right im off to drop a mate at work, probably still drunk tbh :L might ring/text you later deoending how much ive forgiven you x [15:15]
(you reject negative frame and finally not from selfish point of view, you qualfy yourself to her again, negatively frame your friend or your self again can't tell, you then show uncertainty of your actions)
Her: whateverrr.. okay :L haha, have a good day! i should be forgiven its my birthday!x [15:18]
(she is losing interest, breaks report, seeks approval from a selfish point of view so she can be positively re-framed)
And this is later on, i was feeling really rough so didnt put any thought into these ones :)

Me: Ive forgiven you but only this once :P not going to town tonight cause im dying, had a good day so far? x [19:27]
(you validate her from a selfish point of view, you qualify yourself with a DLV, then show interest in her)
Her: hahaa good!! :D aw you suckaa.. yeah its been gooddd.. yours? x [19:52]
(she validates your approval, aknowleges your DLV, answers your closed question with little to no reactivity, and reciprocates it)
Me: My days been spent in bed :L glad your days been good so far. you should come to town next thursday :) x [20:28]
(you react more then her to same question and once again negatively frame yourself and DLV, validate her non reactive one word response, then you seek her approval on a meet up)
Her: you saddo!! :L haha. i joke. maybee.. im going monday and next sat x [20:41]
(she re-affirms your negative frame, but qualifies, she now has low interest with you, and flakes on your approval seeking offer, then she leads to see if you will jump into her hoop to further DLV yourself by going along with her, *this is when you should be flaking on her cause you have plans*)
Me: ahh you loser, if you come thursday you'll get to see me ;) x [21:12]
(you insult her, once again seek approval for a meet)
Her: noooo ;D x [21:43]
(she flakes completely with certainty and pickup totally fucking ruined, she is now in position of higher value and is sure of it)
Just found out about the PUA stuff so any advice would be great.
1st thing, don't text from the I, perspective, I think you are this, can be changed to YOU ARE THIS, next when going for meets, don't seek approval, say i will be at Xlocation on Xdate, i want you to come, or you are invited to come,
don't negatively frame yourself the whole point is the present yourself positively,
stop DLV'ing, stop qualfieing, and try not to ever seem unsure of your actions allways be sure of yourself, if your texting you can think about what you are saying before you say it,

in person > phone call > text > email > thinking about a person but no contact
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Breeam
PostPosted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 10:45 am 
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Thanks for the really detailed advice/analysis. Looks like I did the complete opposite of what I should have done.
Will definitely take what you've said on board.
Now how would I recover from this? If at all possible.
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pumpington
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 10:55 am 
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2 week+ freeze out, re-initiate contact and try again, she obviously was interested in you but you kept lowering yourself, and im not sure you can recover from this that last insult probably fucked you, but nothing is impossible,

the more you can say with less, the better, don't explain yourself to women (unless you think it is truely nessicary), and don't ask for things, just do things and assume they will follow, try not to speak negatively about yourself, allways have something better going on then she does
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Breeam
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 11:06 am 
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Yeah will try again in a couple of weeks. Thanks for the advice, will definitely start trying to improve my game.
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Sykane
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 11:19 am 
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Wasn't too bad imo, I thought you were showing way too much interest, but in a playful way. And I thought you talked about the hangover way too long. Basically showing you can't hold you're liquor, not comfortable in social settings so you drink too much, etc etc. Pretty playful though which is good.
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