Hey guys,
I’m Allen, I’m 26 and in good physical shape and been told I’m attractive.I am your typical nice guy who loses girls to jerks. I don’t know if my problem is AA, low self-confidence or something else. Maybe it’s a combo of all of them, but I don’t know and that’s why I’m here.

Here is a quick rundown on me
I live in a huge college town ( 4 girls for every 1 guy) and on Tuesdays, Fridays and Saturdays my friends and I usually go out to the bars /semi-Pro baseball games. Some bars have dance floors and some are more of a sports bar with TV’s everywhere. When I go out I often wear what I wore to work that day which is a solid or striped Ralph Lauren collared Polo shirt. Or a Long sleeve collared shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a nice pair of shorts (since its like 95 outside and 105 in a crowded bar) and a nice pair of jeans in the winter.

I worked in a open kitchen so I am OK with talking to random people about small talk ( Hey, How’s it going, the weather etc..) But when I am out alone or out with friends and I am standing next to a girl at the bar or they sit at the table next to us, I never say anything. If some of them are looking my way, I may look back to for a second or so but then I look away. (Not keeping eye contact has always been a bad habit of mine.) The girls I don’t see as potential targets I usually can talk to and be fine it’s the ones I find attractive that I can’t approach or talk to even if they are already my friends

I believe my problem has 2 parts.
1. Like a lot of guys I have this weird fear of rejection even when I know I will most likely never see them again… To go along with that I often feel like I’m being judged or analyzed and that I don’t have a chance with her because I am not as fun/ flirty and never get physical out of fear of making the situation awkward.
2. I don’t know what to say after we start talking. It usually ends up with a weird silence because I don’t want to talk about myself obviously but I don’t know what would be interesting enough to keep her attention.

So I guess my questions would be. What are some options that may help boost my self-confidence when meeting and talking to a girl(s) so that I don’t run out of things to talk about.
What would you say is the safest way to get physical once you have been talking for a while so that I can escalate it to the next step?


*I have been reading all the forums, watched the PUA show and have watched the MPUA videos

Thanks

Allen

So it sounds like you are starting with problem #1 - Approach Anxiety. You can do what I did and just blow out 500 sets so you don't give a fuck anymore. You could also check into hypnosis. I have had a few of my lair guys say that worked well for them.

After you cover that then you can work on topics of conversation to build attraction and kino escalation. What works best for me is to talk about things that I like to talk about. I have been trying to communicate through evoking an emotional response instead of logically. (example: Instead of saying wow you seem nervous and you should relax I would say Have you ever had a dream where you go to school in your pajamas??? Don't those dreams make you feel really insecure and nervous? It's so nice when you wake back up in the real world where you can be relaxed and comfortable.)

I like to keep Role Play and emotional content keeping her mind busy while my kino does the attraction and escalation. 55% of communication is body language so get comfortable being handsy if you want to create sexual frames.

_________________
You can't forget about me, stupid. Everywhere I go ima have my own theme music.

Anything can work as a conversation starter/continuer.

When approaching, i usually go for a number as son as I have run out of interesting stuff/my opener. Meaning, if I'm just number hunting, I get a number in 30 secs to a minute. That way, you don't have to worry about setting up a conversation from the getgo.

On a date, try learning about the girl. Presumably, this is a girl you know very little/nothing about, so just try to find out who she is. Asking questions on a date is easier, too, because you have things around you to comment on, such as the food at a restaurant or an event, etc.

What about daytime pickups. Like when I’m at a baseball game or sitting outside a restaurant downtown having a drink. You can’t go straight for a number in the day like you can in a club at night. It requires more of a interesting conversation to keep her interested until you can ask for a number.. Or doesn’t it?

I guess I should not even be worrying about that now since I do not even approach most girls or even know how to yet.

Actually, I was referring to day game. Honestly, I pretty much only do daygame. I think that you're right in that women are looking more for someone interesting during daygame than nightgame. (Nightgame, it really is often only for that one good time.) But at the same time, I think that it works because you're coming across as that interesting guy, because you know what you want and you're going for it. This is also perfect for starting out, because if you mess up an approach royally, you haven't invested any time or real effort into it anyways, so you can move onto the next girl.

As far as not approaching girls, yet, just do it. Knowing how? Nonsense. Just start with saying "hi". Compliment her/neg her, then ask for her number. Easy as that. If you want a more intricate opener, look on here for some, and I guarantee you that you can find hundreds in a matter of minutes.

First set goals for yourself, here is a list of things that might help you,

go out and attempt to get blown out of 10 sets, use the opener
''HEY GIRLS YOU GOT YOUR TICKETS?''.....''TO THE GUN SHOW*FLEX BICEPT*''
after this don't focus on any outcome besides having fun, don't think about targets or getting laid, DON'T FUCKING BE THINKING ABOUT SEX, JUST THINK HAVE FUN,

next after 10 sets you should be socially warmed up, i suggest a club for this, so you have a high number of sets you can approach, don't just approach girls, approach all guy sets, approach mixed set, approach all girl sets with your blowouts and real openers, so anyways after your done trying to get blown out (BTW hang in there until they actively seek to break report with you ei telling you to go away or won't speak to you at all) do 10 real sets, using an opener you like, personally i like to open with CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION REAL QUICK?, when they say sure I say COOL I DON'T HAVE A QUESTION TO ASK YOU, and i wing it from there, use any opener you want, emotional state and body language along with sexual interest level usually dictates if a set will open for you or not, (good looking in a good mood most sets will open easy), after the opener focus on holding good eye contact, and before you leave at some point, say you're cute, even if you are bombing and being blown out, just say YOU'RE CUTE, that should be enough for 1 day to a week or two of practise depending on how much practise and de-sensitising you put into work, after that when you get comfortable opening and hooking and socializing, look up a physical escalation ladder, and have a compliance ladder check list, and for a couple weeks work on getting through that ladder (just like with opening try to open normally and hook and over escalate to get blown out, the reaction you want is WTF THIS GUY IS WEIRD) after desensitizing yourself to that, try to calibrate the escalations to a level that you think would be ideal, after getting blown out 10+ times by over escalating you won't have a super solid idea but at least you will have some idea, most girls will let you get away with alot more then you probably would have thought, after you have done these things, all your doing is trying to tighten up your outer game, until you are getting laid consistantly, you will start to notice patterns and sticking points and should set goals to mitigate negative results in those areas by comming up with solutions to those negative patterns, after your outergame is tight you can focus entirely on inner game,

GOOOD FUCKING LUCK GET LAID, also when your comfortable, allways try to close, ALLLWAYS, when a girl is on an emotional high points (good mood or laughing) number close, kiss close, fuck close, just build her up to high point, go for close, allways try to close, ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLWAYS TRY TO CLOSE, after a while you will stop going for the numbers and just try to bring her home or to your car or the bathroom as soon as you think it is on, ALLLLLLLLFUCKINGWAYS CLOSE