hey everyone,

prior to acquiring any PUA knowledge, i was a relatively romantic guy & i'd still like to keep that as part of my game & identity in general. however, my ideas of romance have changed throughout the years. therefore, i'd like to foster a discussion on the topic of romance & get your opinions/feedback/insight.

here are some questions:
i) what is your definition of romance?
ii) what do the women you meet/date consider romantic?
iii) do you use it as part of your pick-up or game?
iv) if so, @ what stage do you use/show romance?
v) is romance a sign of weakness?
vi) does being romantic make you lose your strong frame?
vii) does being romantic make you a "nice guy" (in a bad way)?
viii) what is your overall take on romance?

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Mr. Jones

I think romance is the part of the relationship that the girl most wants. It's what turns her on, whereas for guys, it's cheesy.

That being said, romance can be a very good tool for seducing women, as it directly turns them on. BUT! It also stimulates the "relationship" side of a woman's brain, so she may read into your actions too much on a sub-conscious level.

I would only use romance in the common use of the word for a LTR. With anyone else it would just be dangerous.

interesting. i agree that romance can/does stimulate the relationship side of a woman's brain, but i wouldn't completely associate it w/ LTR. is it not possible to be romantic or show romance w/ someone you're casually dating? perhaps as a way of rewarding her or keeping her interested, even if you've made it clear LTR is not what you want.

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Mr. Jones

Sure. It just depends what you're referring to as romance, though. Can you elaborate on that?

idk why, but i keep thinking of romance as being an afc thing. to me, romantic gestures such as cooking a candlelight dinner, having a picnic, giving gifts w/ sentimental value (i'm not a big fan of elaborate/expensive gifts), etc. seem kind of afc? what do you think?

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Mr. Jones

i) A feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love
ii) anything that makes her feel desired/special
iii) most certainly
iv) the more romantic you are the quicker you will get into her pants. that being said I will wait until she is invested before being "romantic"
v) no
vi) no
vii) no
viii) to me a successful male lover must be romantic. if you are going to have sex with a girl, you are going to need to romanticize her. Its another word for seduce, but women dont wanna say "ohhh hes such a good seducer". . no, they wanna say "ohh hes so romantic"

Picnics? Awesome cheap date.
Sentimental gifts? Creates good connection.
Candlelight dinner? This I would save for an LTR, as it's cheesy otherwise.

"Romantic" by your definition of things, like a sentimental gift, are great ways to build connection, solidify your tie to a girl, and reward her for miscellaneous reasons.

But there's a line to be drawn between what's appropriate and what's inappropriate. There's no rule to point to, it's just sort of a in this situation, x is okay, but y isn't".

I think the AFC idea comes from AFCs using these techniques at inappropriate times to try and "trick" the girl's mind into turning her on. They will have a candlelight dinner on the first date, because they think that's what will get them into bed with the girl. Very AFC. But ignoring what a girl wants when it IS appropriate, well that's also very AFC.

@JuanAntonioB

well said man, well said.

@TheFreshPrince

i agree w/ having no rule to point to. perhaps it's just an intuition thing, where you have to gauge your relationship w/ the hb before you can start being romantic. i've always had great success these kinds of things & i just wanted to incorporate them in my game w/out them hindering it.

thanks guys, you really put some of these things into perspective.

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Mr. Jones