This is a situation that interests me quite a lot..

About 18 months ago I was stumbling through a friends photos and came across this HB9, me, being nosey, added her on facebook.. we got on quite well, and slowly but surely chatted quite a bit. We were supposed to meet up, but due to exams and stuff, it never happened.

She then started going out with this guy that she really liked, about a month ago he dumped her.. he's in the army, and didn't see it going anywhere (i think he's mad as she's way too good for him!)

Anyway.. she's now single, and admittedly she comes to me with a lot of problems (LJBF?) but at the same time, when she's drunk she sometimes sends me stupid texts (once she put "lets get sexy at mine".. but she was hammered)

So yeah, I told her we should go out for a meal, to try and take her minds off things (please bare in mind we've never met!).. and she said 'yeah that would be nice in a few weeks or something?'... that was a few weeks ago, and we're supposed to be going early next week. However, me being an idiot said 'i know you've just split with your bf, dont worry i wont try anything on', and she replied 'don't worry, we're just friends anyway' - shit test, or hands off warning?

I told her the other day i'd text her, and I forgot, so she FB'd me saying "where was my text!? make sure you text me later" and she's told me that she's even considered rebounding.. I can't decide whether she's telling me this cause she's comfortable talking to me, or because she's hinting.

So yeah... next week (if it happens), i'm trying to decide whether I work towards a K-close.. she's going to Uni in September, so if I tried my hardest, I reckon I could F-close within say 3 dates (as she's only slept with her ex, she doesn't get around).

Any opinions are greatly appreciated x

I would go for the meal with her, and see. Dont make any assumptions until your with her. People are totally different online. I met this hot girl online once and she was so confident and sexy, but when we met up she was really really shy.

But if she is the same in person and you do get on, remember she wouldnt decide on you being "just friends" over the internet, admitedly you are nothing more at the moment, but that is still a inconclusive decision which is open to change.

So go there flirt a little and she how she responds, count IOI's against IOD's and if she accepts kino and whatever go for it.

You will fail anyway if you dont try, so you have nothing to lose.

Goodluck

Could you define IOD for me please? Indicator of Defence?

Thanks for your opinion though, I agree that I have nothing to lose!

Indecator of Disintrest, so you test how complient she is. Like take her hand and if she pulls it away before you do that is an IOD (usually this is down to, to much to fast and dont have the right levels of comfort/rapport)

Ah I see thanks buddy, I should of known that!

I dunno, I mean she's said to me "we're just friends".. but the fact she hasn't met me, and the fact we talk quite a lot (she's been texting me occasionally today for example) makes my mind a little open...

She also asked if I can pick her up/drop her off so she can "have a drink for once"... don't know how to take that either?

it is open, she obviously enjoys talking to you, so it is just a small step to having her like you. Forget the whole "were just friends" thing that isnt set in stone yet.

And what do you mean pick her up/drop her off? as in she asked you to drop her somewhere and then pick her up afterwards? Cos if that is the case and she didnt invite you that is a big warning sign of a girl that will use you

Sorry, she means pick her up from her house, and drop her off at her house after the meal (and drinks if we go for them afterwards..) - as opposed to her driving and therefore not being able to have a drink!

Oh that is fine, let her drink a little it will loosen her up, you stay sharp witted also meaning that you can lead the conversation easier. Also when you dont leave it at the restraunt, when you get to her house she can invite you inside and it is alot less of a big deal rather than inviting you at the restraunt.

Makes her feel less slutty i guess. It is something she seems to be thinking about. Mate seriously this sounds like a done deal, aslong as your no different in text messages and online you'll be fine.

Seriously all this worrying and stuff is what fucks most guys up, go with the expectation of a meal and decent company, we know you want sex, but it is a bonus not a certainty. Dont make it overtly obvious you want sex, that is unattractive, but flirt a bit kino a bit and you'll get invited inside. And im sure you dont need anyone to tell you what to do from there

I think you've hit the nail on the head really mate, that is exactly my thoughts.

Although she still lives with her parents (she's only 18!) so the inviting inside bit may not work like you say, but I still get the picture.

I appreciate you taking your time to help out

No problem man seriously, this is what this forum is about helping each other out in areas which we are not sure about. We've all had issues at one time or another and got help here, so it is about giving something back. Let me know how it goes

Well, last night was the meet up!

It went quite well I thought. She was quite nervous, didn't make ANY eye contact at first, so I milked this trying to act confident by gazing into her eyes a lot, and she'd catch me at a glimpse.

I paid for the meal + drinks (she's very skint at the minute), but I didn't mind cause it was my idea to meet etc etc.

I didn't try to k-close her, I don't know why, but she text me after I left and we were texting for a bit.. I told her I didn't try and k-close her cause it seemed she LJBF'ed me... she replied 'that was 4 weeks ago, i was still distraught about my ex! silly boy! xx' - I think that was her trying to justify why I should of kissed her...

Now to try and get another date!

(Formally Dengj5) x

I told you, nothing is set until you meet. And if you think about kissing a girl you should do it.

if you dont try you will fail anyway.

If your a bit unsure i use mystery's one

You: "Would you like to kiss me?"

(3 possible answers)

1. Her : "Yes" (you know what to do)

2. Her : "Maybe"
You: "Lets find out"

3 Her: "No"
You: "Well i didnt say i wanted to, you just seemed like you had it on your mind" (slight neg)

Yeah I should of done something like that, but we had just been talking about her ex and stuff, it seemed like a bit of a non-starter!

We should be meeting next week, so i'll try it then

Thanks my mate!

I know this is an oldddd thread, but I have a question regarding the same girl, so I thought i'd use this thread!

Basically, if you skimmed through the content of the thread, the last time I posted about meeting her was the first and only time we've met.

However she's just got back from a holiday, and we both agreed we'd do something on her return. She said she wanted to watch the new Harry Potter. We both agreed Friday was a good day and I said i'd book tickets if she was definite, to which she said she was. So I bought tickets on Tuesday. Might I add that she's going to be driving 20 miles to my town and 20 miles back should this go ahead... (i said she could stay at mine but she says she's got to be up early, which I know is bullshit but I don't think she's comfortable with it as she isn't a slag..)

She went out with her friends on Tuesday night, and facebook'ed me briefly from her mates. Then last night was her leavers prom, so I've hardly spoke to her.. however I wrote on her wall saying 'give me a text when you get chance tonight x' to which she replied 'okayyy xoxoxox' cause i've lost my phone and i have no numbers therefore I can't text her first. Basically, I just want to know whether she's still fucking coming or not.

But now, it's 00:04 (GMT) and she hasn't text me, nor facebook'ed me, yet she's been on chat for a good hour or so.. now I know she's got loads of prom photos/holiday photos/conversations about both going on, but surely it's bad news that she hasn't connected me?

I don't want to message her AGAIN as it looks like the ball's in her court, which I suppose it is as i've paid for the tickets.. not that they're expensive but it's not the point.

I just want to know how you'd play this. She's quite a "sweet, innocent" girl, and trying to act uninterested and game her, considering she knows what i'm like, isn't really an option in this case.

Thanks!

_________________
Behind the lady who dances and the man who madly drinks, i'll show you the truth about love.

Sorry to be the barer of bad news but if you havent gotten anywere with her by now your screwed (and I dont mean by her) unless the stars align or something. Id move on, you are so balls deep in the friendzone now you cant tell which direction the fuckzone line is.

The only smallest possibilities of recovering the situation is
1)to date other women in front of her and make her jealous
2)try for a reset - ie break all contact with her for a few months, then accidently reinitiate contact and this time actually sexually escalate instead of being a fanny.