I went over to my friends house for a poker night and a super hot red-head (i got a thing for red-heads) showed up. My buddy who was hosting had invited her and told me he met her at a bar.

I did my usual game where I'm cocky and funny, and show a demeanor of true indifference while still being nice and making her feel like she's important. She was sending me signals all night and trying to get more and more of my attention. Twice she even sat next to me rather than my freind, whom supposedly was her "date" for the night. At this point it was obvious to me that my buddy was in friendsville with her and she was just interested in having fun. (also a mutual buddy said she was fair game)

Anyways, my buddy kept saying AFC stuff like "I'm so glad you're here," and "I'm having such a great time," and rubbing her hand. In my head I kept thinking he was a chump.

Well the night progressed and she asked me if she could come to my bday party on Sat and I said, "i dunno, I'll think about it" and gave her a little smile. At some point I got a call to go out to a club and and sarg so I excused myself from the poker game and headed out. On my way out, I told her "yeah, If you wanna come Sat just find me through one of them... See ya there."

Well, long story short, by buddy told me he banged the bejesus out of her. And I'm just wondering, wtf?!?!? Does that mushy "I'm so glad you're here" crap really work? Am I missing something? Is there a point in me game where I should switch gears and start doing chump stuff?

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El Lobo

What your buddy is saying is only AFC in phase 1 (A1): when he just met her. Then you have to play not-needy/DHV. Definitely you should NOT say things like that.

But your buddy and the girl have made progress in the game: he invited her, and she came. They are no longer in A1, probably already in A3 (or even C1). In this phase, your buddy will act that she has won over him. By saying these things he is actually qualifying her.

So you are partly right: saying these things are not done in phase A-1, but your buddy is already in A-3/C-1. Then he could say such things.
I hope the situation is more clear now.

You left. he was still there.

"THERE" always trumps not there. Physical world always wins.

Both of you just made a TON of sense. Especially how he was already in C1 and qualifying her.

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El Lobo

He was rubbing her hand? Kino. Bam.

He was saying one thing with his voice, but showing another through body language. He was Kinoing her. You were not.

He made a move and made his intent obvious. Hardly an AFC thing to do.

As someone else said, I think it's just the simple fact that you left and he was still there. Given the choice she probably would have chosen you, but obviously she was up for it and just banged your friend as he was her best option available.

bingo.

op made the chick horny...then left

if it makes him feel any better, she was thinking about him

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Doing things AFC would do does not automatically disqualify you from banging a girl. If you needed to have your game down to get a girl then few guys would get any.

Just like, the first few girlfriends I had and got in bed with, I acted all needy, AFC wise to put it simple... I was clingy, annoying at times, supplicating, whatever... I never got comfortable with a girl and was rejected from sex. Just keep moving forward the more comfortable she gets with you. I was even fairly shy at times, it's all about getting your intentions through once they're comfortable with you... and when I say comfortable I also mean that sex with you is a possibility to them.

Honestly when I think back these chicks were all when I was in highschool, likely had self-esteem issues... but eitherway, it was never too difficult, though these relationships where strung out over a few weeks-months which is maybe why doing that AFC stuff worked... though PUA tactics would have worked better

I agree with some of what already has been said: you left while he was still there / you didn't get her to come with you.

But I noticed some other stuff. There's another mistake in the situation: you tell her that if she wants you, she needs to find you through your friends. You perhaps were thinking you were being indifferent, but "non-initiated" (noob) male friends aren't likely to help you in dating situations... especially not when they think they have a chance with her, even if it's 1%. Most noob dudes are so needy they do anything for a chick, including ruining things for their friends.

On top of that, you let a woman make an effort of closing the deal. That in itself is wrong. It's like expecting a woman to ask you for your number AND to call you, while she has been programmed since birth not to do anything of the sort. That's not gonna happen. Ever. You close the deal. Always.

I'll also throw in that a lot of newbs make the mistake of thinking that doing or saying anything polite makes them AFC. When she asked about coming to your birthday celebration, you shoulda just said yes if you wanted her there. You could say yes however you want, you don't need to throw out goddamn confetti, but saying "i'll think about it" is just a polite NO.

If you do nothing but neg and give half-assed answers, a girl will eventually just figure you are not interested. Negs, C/F attitude, etc are just meant to be used enough to show her that you consider yourself to be her equal, not inferior.