Hey all, I just have some simple questions that I'm sure are asked repeatedly...

I'm kind of in a fog right now. I'm 21, I work 30ish hours a week, I don't go to school right now (taking a break), and I haven't really had the motivation to talk to any girls I don't know.

I work retail so I do get a chance to talk to a lot of hotties (customers), but usually what happens is this:

1. Observe hottie, discuss amongst coworkers
2. Girl comes up, all I can say is "hi", or a little small talk that doesn't go anywhere.

I've read Magic Bullets , although it's been a while, and I'm familiar with some of the techniques. This is where the "fog" comes in.

When I'm actually put in the moment where I can start a conversation with a girl I think is cute, I either freeze up or become completely apathetic. I think it might have to do with some self-consciousness...but I'm not sure how to break that. My teeth aren't incredibly straight, I'm rail thin (metabolism), and many more of the excuses you've heard before.

My conscious concerns with opening up and starting a convo at work are that it's difficult for me to pick a girl up, get her number, whatever when there's coworkers around watching. I also used to have a lot more friends than I do now, but that's my own doing. So basically, I feel like going out anywhere besides work alone is really lame and puts off a bad image, but people I do hang out with are either lame or couples and don't go out ever. On top of that, I'm not a fan of the bar scene (I've seen how lame it is since turning 21, and I have no desire to deal with some douchebag alpha-male frat boy over a girl who's probably retarded anyway). I've kinda been locked away for the last year or two (not jail, lol, but metaphorically) so breaking out of this shy/apathy/anxiety is hard.

So my questions are...

1. How do I break out of this shell?
2. Should I get different friends? I prefer hanging out with older people cause they're more mature and less dramatic, but they don't really do much for my social life.
3. How should I approach girls at work when the manager or coworkers are around? I feel that if I screw up I could prevent a regular hottie from coming back again or even have her complain about me if I fail really hard..
4. Reading my story, what's some general advice?

Thanks guys, I hope to hear some good stuff from you...it's always good having support when you're down and in times of need.

sunbeamz

Hi sunbeamz.

First: you are at work, dont do pickup at work. Dangerous. Not so much for the customers, but more what your boss might think of it. at your own risk, as i dont know your work situation.

Breaking out of the shell: whatever product you read or going to read, in the end you will have to do something yourself. In order to break out of your shell, you will need to accept that you will be rejected at some point. That you will not always be successful. If you accept that fact, go out there and talk, talk, talk. Wonder what to talk about? Ask women quetions about themselves, things you want to know about them. Dont accept shitty answers. Expect them to be real. let this be your first step.

Should you get different friends? That is for you to decide. i dont know your friends. You want friends to go out with? find them. You need to throw away the old ones? hell no, why would you?

on your third question: if you fear complaints (which might happen), just dont do pickup at work.

General advice: you dont like the way you look? Go to the gym, work out. You might buff up a bit. The most important thing is that you look and smell like you wash yourself. Not like a dirthbag.

Go out and approach. have fun while doing it. If questions arise, come back here and ask them. You wont really learn anything by just sitting behind your computer or reading/listening products. You learn by doing the shit your read or heard, you learn by failing and you learn by success.

Lots of luck!

cheers

_________________
"Stop being a fucking vagina and escalate" - CaptainJackHarkness

Like the naked leads the blind.
I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind.
Sucker love I always find,
Someone to bruise and leave behind.
placebo - every me, every you

I wouldn't say you can never pick up at work, but I really don't recommend it. The main problem is that women are expecting you to be professional, and care mostly about the sale. They may even expect you to flirt a little on order to cement a sale. I would go ahead and work game, but avoid closing as much as possible unless you are absolutely certain they will give you a number. It goes without saying you should never do any other type of close at work. A lot of this also depends on where you work. What kind of retail store is it?

I definitely understand what you perceive to be your dilemma: Where else will you meet girls? Here's what I do.

Every opportunity you have, look for women to game. And create these opportunities. Game the waitress giving you your lunch. Game the cute girl you see as you're walking to the car. As far as making opportunities, go inside the bank to deposit checks or withdraw money instead of using an SPAM. The n you can game both the girls in line as well as the bank teller. Go to a restaurantlate at night and t order a dessert. Game the Staff.

Oh, and welcome to the forum!

The problem I think lies in the motivation. I've really distanced myself from all my friends because ALL of them feel like one sided friendships. I'm not a loser, by any means, but I just never want to go out. I like to spend a lot of time alone, and all the friendships I HAVE kept have basically reduced to either I call them or they don't talk to me.

So the problems stem from this lack of motivation. I don't even know where to begin meeting people anymore, nor do I feel the drive to. However, the end result of actually having a healthy social life IS appealing, but so is the no-effort relaxation I get from being alone.

Because of this isolation, my self-confidence has plummeted (since I don't really meet anyone new) and my anxiety has increased tenfold.

I'm really at a standstill, and am not sure what to do. I never really saw myself as a pick-up artist or anything...I really just want to develop a meaningful relationship (as lame as that sounds). No, I'm not a virgin, I know what sex has to offer, but I can also go without it as I often force myself to.

A lot of guys think there is some secret to breaking out of your shell. As if the answer is " go in the mirror and say I will be socially open 5 times with your eyes closed". Absoulutely not. It's as simple as getting off your ass and getting out there. You want more friends hit up places where you can do things that YOU like and spark up conversations and meet new people. Simple as that. If you want to have no social life then stay at home and do nothing about it. If you want one, take responsibility and work for it.

And picking up girls at work is Absoulutely possible and fun. I often found the women hitting on me a lot. And at times I would just rip an peice of receipt paper an tell them to write there number on it while they sign for w/e they buy. I scored a few hotties and a couple milfs as a cashier at target a few years back. You just gotta to step out of your comfort zone and make confident actions. Forget the whole body language/ cocky funny jibberish. Take confident actions. They will mean a lot more than anything you can say. I promise