OK let me break this down no holds barred -
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Long story short, last month I made out with this girl who I've been intensely attracted to for almost a year. ?
This is illusionary nonsense; I’m guessing you are young, your ego believes this mirage of a woman will somehow fill a void in your life. It’s not your fault society programmes you to think like this.
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After we made out, she said she didn't regret it, but didn't feel ready to leave her boyfriend or cheat on him. Which I guess is fine, since I'm interested in dating her, not just sleeping with her (never been attracted to a girl like this before, don't even really understand it).
She just wants to have fun with you. She is bored in her relationship and is seeking excitement. That’s it.
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when I moved in for the kiss, she actually grabbed me by the shirt and pulled me in.
Point proven.
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So, the last time we really talked was at the end of May... I've sent her a FB chat twice since then... the first time she was away from the computer and when she replied, I was away. The second time (weeks later, a few days ago actually) she didn't respond.
Stop talking to her, stop facebooking her, stop texting her etc until you get over your childish infatuation.
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I've been involved with girls before, but I've never ever felt like this about one, not even about my ex of 1.5 years. I want the opportunity to explore this feeling more, and I know she's going to eventually break up with this guy simply because of how miserable she sounds when she talks about him.
Like I said brainwashed ego talk. If she breaks up with him and gets with you she will become miserable with you and break up with you the same way.
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But I don't know how to interact with her until that point, especially since we aren't geographically close right now. I figure if I just freeze her out until they break up, her attraction to me will disappear or she'll forget about me. Should I try to develop a mild friendship with her? Just check in with her every now and then? I'm clueless as to what to do here.
You simply have two options -
1) Fuck her give her a good time and let her pursue you from then on.
2) Freeze her out completely and deal with your inner state. Your way of thinking at the moment is volatile, dangerous and unattractive.
Grow up, let go and you will become 1000% more attractive.