I'm a newbie and I'm not sure about something. I have a friend who gave me some advice about attracting girls and it just seems like bad advice to me. But, he swears that it works for him. And I have gone places with him and seen girls respond to him in a way that they never have for me, so maybe he's right.

Anyway, he said when he sees an attractive girl he looks her in the eyes. Then once he's made eye contact with her he lets his eyes go down as he quickly checks out her body, and then back up again to her eyes.

I've read of few books on pick-up and it just seems wrong to me from what I've read. I wouldn't think you'd want her to see you checking out her body right off the bat. I can see looking her in the eyes and smiling, but aren't you suppose to wait until you've established some report with her before you let her catch your eyes drifting to other places.

To early on, it might send the message that you just want to bone her. Which might work on girls that are easy or sluty because they just want to get laid too. But, on a quality girl worth having and holding on to, surely you'd want to wait until you've established some report first wouldn't you?

On the other hand, when I see a girl look me up and down (which hardly ever happens), I have to say it feels pretty good. So, I don't know maybe they do all enjoy it. Any advice on this?

Your friend probably knows what he's talking about, but didn't explain it right to you. What you described is right. Look at her eyes, scan her quickly, one second down, one second up, back to eyes. Not an instant more than that, though. 'Checking her out' is fine. 'Ogling her' isn't. Like when a girl looks you up and down quickly, it feels good. I agree with that. But girls are constantly afraid that they are going to be turned into a mere sex object. The quick once down, once up shows sexual interest without making her think that's all that you want -- even if it is all that you want. If a girl just stared at your groin, it would make you think all she wanted is sex. Which may be the case. And most guys wouldn't have a problem with it. But a woman would. She wants to be known for more than just sex, even if that's what she wants more than anything. Make sense?

If a woman catches you checking her out it means youre interested, duh. If she's interested in you she'll respond well, if not she won't and its typically pretty easy to read a response. However when she "catches" you checking her out just don't be a pussy. Hold her eye contact until she breaks it then continue checking her out, approach her, do whatever the fuck you want. It's alpha behavior and it's been my greatest weapon. By your post however you could stand to improve your inner game first.

yeah it's because there's already attraction there. you only don't let her know you think she's attracted, and do all this pua stuff when attraction isn't there completely right away. that's when routines and stuff that build attraciton, rapport, and comfort can come in handy. also girls love the confidence of you checking her out and deciding you want to talk to her.

Don't think so much about where you aim your eyes and go talk to her. There's more to a woman than a sweet, round ass and firm pair of tits. For me, talking to a woman makes it ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY that I look her in the eyes so that I can read her face and responses. You'll be able to express sexual interest in myriad other ways once you're this far in.

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Trip on acid, not your dick!

Some thoughts in random order.

- women WANT to be noticed and WANT to be appreciated.

- Women know that men notice them and that men desire them.

- it's more dishonest to try to pretend that you don't notice them and don't like what you see.

- as long as you are polite, curteous and respectfull of their feelings and treat them like a "whole" human being and not just a set of tits or an ass, you will never hurt their feelings.

- If someone catches you checking her out, just look her in the eye with a warm smile and say, "Ooops you busted me!"

- looking at someone and smiling when your eyes meet isn't creepy or disrespectfull or meaning that you are just wanting in their pants. Staring at them, looking away when they look at you, not saying anything and then starting at them again IS.

- If you like something in particular about a certain girl, it is OK to share that but word it like, "I really like your _______. It may sound wierd but I have a think for _______ ________ and yours is/are really nice."

If you are sharing something about yourself, that is communicating and chicks dig communication.

However if you say, "nice ass" or "you're hot" or great legs, tits, eyes, hair..whatever. That is objectifying to her as well as not actually communicating anything about yourself.

Let me put that this way - if a gal has great legs and you walk up and say simply, "great legs." You are not communicating anything personal about yourself and all you are doing is pointing out something physical about her that is obvious and it objectifies her to just being a life support system for a pair of legs.

But if instead you were to sa, " I can't help noticing you have very tan and athletic looking legs. I guess I am just a sucker for tan and lean legs. do you play tennis or are you are runner or something like that?"

That is showing that you noticed and appreciated something about her in a way that was specific to you and specific to her but you were communicating it in a personal way as opposed to making a factual statement about a part of her body.

Do you see the difference?

The reason I'm conflicted on this issue is that on one hand I get what you guys are saying. Having the balls to give her a quick once over and not give a shit whether or not she saw you do it, seems like an alpha male characterisic.

But, I remember from Mystery's book, him talking about "cat calling" (I think he called it cat calling.). Like when you see a hot girl walking by and your sitting back with your buddies and you call out, "Hey babe how you doing" or "damn you're looking fine". Mystery said to never do this because cat calling is like putting her up on a pedistal, you are raising her value while simultaneously lower your own.

It just seem to me that giving a woman a quick once over right off the bat is kind of like cat calling. Although you're not saying anything with your words, you are saying something with your eyes. It's like saying "damn you're looking fine" with your eyes". And, I just wonder if by doing so you are raising her value while simultenously lower your own.

Mystery also said not to give a girl any IOI's until you get one from her first. When you give her a quick once over with your eyes right from the beginning, you are clearly giving her an IOI.

So you can see why I'm conflicted on this issue.

dont do catcalls cause it's rude, immature and boarish. It has nothing to do with IOIs.


Like I said girls WANT to be noticed and appreciated, they just want to be treated like human beings and respected. Catcalling is not respectfull.

Noticing someone's charms and complimenting them in a sincere, respectfull manner is rarely a problem.

Don't worry about who does IOIs first. Women are experts at hiding their interests. If both you have bitch shields up noone is going to get anywhere.

I love the Mystery Method, but not everything having to do with it. (I pick and choose what I think would be useful to me from many sources, like I'm assuming most PUAs do) and while it is true that cat-calling will lower your value and raise hers, if you watch videos from Gambler, or read up on some of his stuff, he mentions using sexual body language, but it's because you're only using your body language and not actual words, she's like "Is he interested in me or not? I can't tell." In my opinion, all checking her out would do is create body language saying you're interested, but if your words convey "Let's be friends!" it's gonna create attraction as well as rapport, in theory.

Been meaning to test that out, but haven't gotten around to it with how busy I've been lately. Maybe you'll have good results, maybe not, but it's worth a shot.

PUA is just a way of increasing your chances to get a girl as much as you can, never a for sure thing.

Your title isn't that good of a match to the question, but I think your friend is right. You are supposed to be displaying a sexual interest in her, if you have eye contact she probably is interested in you somehow. If you look at her body, she knows why you are interested in her. Maybe it can lead to getting blown off, but it will never lead to the friend zone.