Hey guys

here's the setting

i'm from northern european country
my gf is from southern european country and usually verry touchy with people in general


we agreed yesterday to meet at 23 at a place outside in town. When going out, i texted her that i won't come, but maybe go later cause i'm in another place. i also told her she can come if she want to the place i go with a friend.

No response. My friend left, and i went to see her to the place we originally were supposed to meet up. I see her, sitting on the shoulders of a guy (from her country), screaming and having fun. She sees me and says hi, i come over, and obviously the situation was quite messed-up. She introduces me to that guy, and she says goodbye to him (the guy just stayed there alone on the bench...) with a huge hug, this guy closing his eyes and smelling his hair).

I wasn't happy with what i saw, since i did a long walk to see her and met her like that. I told her that she didn't showed me respect like that, and clearly told her, that if she wants to stay with me she has to cut back this kind of shit, otherwise I just go. Point. She said I was right but also said it's her 'culture'. I went home, but still, the situation wasn't really resolved.

I tried to not show many anger, i actually didn't at all, just showed her that she can't do this shit.


Did i do something wrong? Should i act as she can do this kind of stuff?

Thanks a lot.

BTW: at first i told her just, "i'm going home". She said "why?" , i said "cause i'm tired".

i walked away, and he ran after me to stop me. than we talked.

Speaking as a someone from "southern europe" - Girls from around the mediterranean do like to touch. I'm going to guess you're German or Scandanavian

That said apologizing wont help so dont do that, just carry on as if it didnt happen. Take a couple of days and text her with something fun that'll remind her of the good times, and set up another date. if she's hesitant, play it cool; give it some time.

And in the future, try to be a little more understanding - we make jokes about the "cold" northern europeans so try not to fit the stereotype so well!

this is my interpretation:

you made plans with her, then bailed on her to hang out with a friend. she got mad and so hung out with another guy to make you jealous and to get you back for bailing on her. (girls in my past have been this manipulative, but not all of them are.) you did the right thing but acting like you weren't phased by it, but also putting down your foot that she can't do it. you're lenient because it's her culture, but beyond that you were cold. perfect

She should also be understanding with me man.

I really felt like a complete loser arriving there. Just was so disrispectfull for me.

I had a big feeling of disturbing her doing the shit she was doing.

For now i think to talk with her one more time. I have a culture, and i know i can't handle with girls who are too flirty with people, even if it's just their "way" of acting around people. If she can't accept to cut things back a little bit, we split up. Point.

some remarks:

we didnt actually put up a DATE. It was a group of people supposed to meet in a place in town. We said to meet eachother there, together with all the other people.

second, i don't think she's the type of girl to make me jealous our play games at all.

Fair enough - if its a deal breaker for you, then no harm no foul. You have standards and expect women to meet them; nothing wrong with that!

Some follow up, the day after:

she saw me on facebook and immediatelly began to talk with me, in a quite enthusiastic way.

She said that she wants to see me tonight.

I agreed, yet i'm going to talk again with her and clearly tell her my conditions for being in a relationship with me.

If she can't/don't want accept, i'm gone.

I like the girl, but i'm nothern, she is southern, and often it has led to misinterpretations, or even worse some little fights.

No man!

Just be cool and have a good time. Save the drama/conditions for after you two are sleeping together. No reason to be so harsh so early - wait until she does something again. You've already taken a stand once.

We sleep already together for a couple of months. But aren't committed. Now we are about to commit.