okay, so i'm currently 19 years old and i haven't had sex yet. i don't even have a guy who's interested in me. i just don't know what to do. all my friends are having sex and going through boyfriends and i'm just such a failure. i don't think of myself as ugly and i'm in shape. i've been called attractive, sexy & pretty before but for some reason i just don't know how to attract guys.

i really just want to lose my virginity so i can experience it and i know what everyone's talking about and so i don't feel like such a loser.... any suggestions???

Just because you haven't had sex yet, doesn't make you a loser and if the only reason you want to do it is to stop yourself feeling like one, then I'd say that you're doing it for the wrong reasons. I don't think people should go questing to lose their virginity but rather wait until they find a person they want to lose it to, maybe I'm an idealist in that respect but that's how it happened for me and I'm glad it did.
Honestly, to a lot of guys (myself included) virginity can be a huge DHV (assuming it's not through some huge character defect or something). I can tell you that I have so little respect for the girls that go through guys in nothing flat, most men with value don't want the town bike.

If you're really just intent on losing it, get yourself out into the world, go to a few clubs - if you're attractive, you're going to get hit on and from there you can just run with it... Hell, if you don't know how to run with it, you can just jump his bones and it'll most likely end the way you want it. Girls don't need game because men are largely pathetic.

Think hard about what you want and don't do something (or someone) you're going to regret.

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One cannot lose what one has never had.

I somewhat agree with Sixpounder, especially about the DHV thing, everybody loves a virgin. But if you want to lose your virginity, I'd go for a friend. If you have a good male friend you trust, you can ask him to do you a favor. Since you're inexperienced, doing it with a stranger might be really really awkward for you. The best would definitely be to lose it with a guy you like.

On the other note, maybe you're not being approached as much as your friends because you give off the vibe you don't want to be approached. I have a friend who is beautiful, good person, really GF material and she doesn't get approached because she seems inaccessible. I don't know you, so I'm just guessing. If this is the case, watch your body language, try to make it open, smile more, keep eye-contact with guys you like and hopefully they'll approach you. When they do, be nice to them if you like them, smile, laugh at their jokes and just act interested. Hope this helped, good luck!

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rAFC and yes, I'm a chick.

I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long.

I guess i'll help you lose it. PM me.

Really good advice. Guys will often need a bit of encouragement because they're often not sure if you like them or not. If you position yourself so your body language is more open, look around the room (slowly, gracefully) and smile, and generally give off the vibe that you're willing to be approached, this can make a lot of difference. Similarly, when you like the guy, a laugh and smile, and especially a little touch on his arm, lightly, when emphasising a point or laughing at his joke, can go an awfully long way.

If you do like him and he approaches you, telling him a little about yourself, responding to his questions nicely, and especially asking him things about himself, will help move the conversation along and indicate to him that you're interested.

Ditto on Sixpounder's remarks as well - losing your virginity doesn't have to be done because of social pressure or feeling like any less of a person if you don't. I've known plenty of women who lost their virginity at 21 or later, but were glad they waited for a guy they actually liked and trusted, rather than their friends who lost it earlier, but whilst drunk to some guy they never saw again.

Similarly, throwing yourself at a guy in the hopes of losing it, will probably have the opposite effect. Being too aggressive can come across as unattractive to men. Although they may need some encouragement, they also like a challenge, so don't be afraid to show some interest, but then make him chase you a bit.

The truth is, the first time itself won't be that "special" in terms of the physical process. It'll probably hurt or be uncomfortable, and it usually takes until the 3rd or 4th time before you start to really enjoy it. That's why it's worth finding a guy who's willing to wait, be patient, and take things one step at a time and ease you into it.

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Six is right about the DHV, some guys would probably stop and think if a girl said they was a virgin (or at least i would). it totally changes the way i think of someone and not in a bad way

i was typing a whole self help story ... but what i actually want to say is that i am really glad there is a woman who is 19 and still virgin. Im glad there is someone who is self concious about certain things and who doesn't have a huge fucking - i look good and all men do suck my ass - type of personality.

im glad there is a woman who is asking things in a logical non emotional sense and who sounds rational in the process
finally i look at someone who didn't lose her virginity at her 15th birthday when she was a immature loser. im glad you are not someone who didn't get drunk and lost her virginity stuffed with drugs.

attractive .. sexy .. pretty ? well now im going to call you + self concious and nice.

actually i feel attracted to you because you sounds like someone who isn't impulsive at all - you trigger my concious preselection switches. all people are insecure to some degree however im more attracted if you lose the '' failure '' and other negative self image.

losing virginity isn't special if you force it... you really have to meet someone you like - there has to be a chemistry , i've had sex with people and it didn't mean anything because ther wasn't chemistry.

even tho i don't know how you look and really are... i would date you just because you sounds rational and self concious , but hey thats me.

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