Hi guys.

I am 29 AFC and I am new to the community. My head has been wrecking for a week now over this girl I was dated for 3 month which has suddenly ended. I am writing this to get some advice or even just closer because I have caught ONEITIS.

OK this is the full story. I met her online using the techniques I have learned from the community. She was a HB8 but to me she was a little more than just a rating. I found her to be potential for a LTR material. Before I met her I was dating 4 girls at once but I slowly kicked them to the curb for this HB8.

I will post the rest of the details below.
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We met first for drinks and got on really well. She came back to mine we made out but no sex. We arranged to meet again for a random day at the zoo. We had a great time at the zoo plenty of giggles and got drunk. Then we arranged for a third time to go to the cinema then after that back to mine and we had sex for the first time. At this point there where no signs of flaking or any other sort of IOD's so we kept seeing each other arranging random days out like drunken picnics and nights in takeaways and such I even cooked for her which I have never done before with a HB.

We text each other a lot over the 3 months almost every other day. We met up with each other at least once or twice a week with regular sex. We talked about doing more random things and I bought tickets to Alton Towers which she was looking forward too. Things where great. Full of negs on both parts which made it fun.

More to come

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She had a life as did I. We are both busy doing are own thing. She had mates who she would regularly go out with and plenty of guy friends as she was that type of girl...very attractive easy going and popular. I was similar in that respect. I had plenty of friends and girl mates who I went on trips with.

This is where it went pear shaped. I was moving to a new apartment and very busy the few weeks I noticed something was kinda weird. We arranged to meet up that week I was moving but I was also going away for a lads holiday. I had to cancel on her as I was far to busy sorting the holiday, moving apartments and going for a job interview. She text me in a very jokey manner that she was not happy and that I better make it up to her which I said I would as soon as I got back from the 3 day lads holiday. I didn't notice any IOD's at all through all the text I received or even when we met up in fact is was full of IOI's. Texting me messages like "I bet you can't wait to see me when you get back etc" She even text me the day I was going away to say hope you have a great time and come back safe. She her self went on a camping trip with all her girl friends and also lad friends that weekend.

Sorry about this more to come below
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This is where the red flag come. I got back Monday and text her Wednesday to she if wanted meet and she text back saying she cant meet Wednesday because she already arrange to go to her mates and she was working late all week and she was tired and needed a rest from the camping trip and she said she going to do nothing at the weekend so she suggested Friday which I agreed. Friday came round and she flaked on me. But the words in her text pissed me off..."Hey kid sorry bout this but gona av to cancel 2nite..gona be in work til late..pissed off its friday and it sucks. Got loads to do and I am not in the mood..grrrrrr sorry pal".......KID..PAL!? WTF!? Then she text back again saying sorry for letting me down and hope that I am not in a mood with her....I played it cool and said no worries. She then asked if I was free Sunday to see if we could do something fun which I agreed. I was busy that weekend I had a friends birthday coming up and we went the races. She text me late that Saturday night saying she had just come back from the cinema with a 'friend' asking how I was and asked if I still fancied doing something Sunday. I again agreed. We went and had some food and then the pics as we both wanted to watch this film. We had a good time. She came back to mine and we had sex for the last time. She stayed over for 3hrs and left at 2am as she had work the next morning.

We arranged to go bowling the following Thursday. We went to bowling then I noticed some IOD's...I met her at the train station as I got in her car I kissed her as a hello peck and she looked kind of startled!?...I thought nothing of it...we went for something to eat and I had hold of her hand as we were talking at the table and she removed them..another IOD. We got to the bowling alley and she was fine...in fact she was kissing me and cuddling me so I dismissed all the IOD's from before...mistake really. It got to the end of the night at the bowling alley and I suggested that we continue having fun somewhere else...she declined and said she should be getting home. I got home and she sent me a text saying hope I was ok and said thanks for the night.

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The next day I suggested that we go for an all dayer in Manchester and go to a Comedy Club. She loved the idea and was very enthusiastic about it. She was busy the following weekend as she was at a friends Christening. I was busy as I was going to a house party with all my mates. I never saw her again. I text her the monday after that weekend and she was very cold. I asked if she fancied meeting up again to do something fun and she replied..."I am shockingly busy this week and I am out for my friends birthday at the weekend! Might have to do next week if that ok?" I just agreed and said ok no worries.

She didn't text all week so I sent her a cocky funny text on the Saturday to remind her that I am still here. She responded with "haha i am just baking a birthday cake" then I didn't hear from here the week we was gonna do something fun so I sent her another text to remind her again that I am here. She just text "saying hello stranger what have ya been up to? I have been busy and need a rest. I am looking forward to my holiday in three week yay"

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This is how she ended it...I asked her just be upfront and she text me this....

" ok this is me being up front. I have had lots of fun with you and I really enjoyed seeing you. I have a lot on at the min and thought I needed to back off. I am not sure what I want or if I am ready for a relationship and I am not sure if you feel the same way? I don't want things to get complicated. Sorry if I messed you about. Your a lovely lad and you always made me laugh x"

LOVELY LAD!!! WTF! She might as well pat me on the head and give me a doggy biscuit and say 'awwwww'

I played it cool and said "Good for you and I will spk to you soon" which she said she would. Then I made things even worse....I got drunk and acted like a needy AFC....I text her 2 days later very drunk saying this...

"I think I need to be honest with you. I did not expect to start seeing anyone when we first stared going out. It came as a surprise but I actually quite like you. I feel rather stupid now after getting involved with you. We both should have been honest with each other."

Yes I know what a douche bag! She replied by saying "Sorry kid I am in Manchester 2day so its abit difficult. I will give you a bell lata x"

I haven't heard from her since....I will be honest...I am gutted...I was obviously in to her more than she was to me but it didn't look or seem that way until the very end.

I have been going over and over things in my mind to try and find out what I did wrong at what particular stage! I fucked up somewhere. Also she mentioned that she didn't want things to get complicated...after a 2 day drinking bender to drown the sorrows, it got me a little paranoid thinking what was the complication?....another guy? Or was she generally just scared and jumped ship?

Thanks for taking the time out to read. I know its full on but I needed some closer because I can't get her out of my head. Typical AFC. I have tried just moving on and going for other girls but apart of me just wants me to not bother until I feel ok and I am over her. It may take a week or so.

Any advice or what you think happened or I should just grow a pair of balls

Cheers guys

There are three unchanging laws of attraction that you need to understand

(A) We only Chase what runs away from us.

(B) Whoever cares LESS about a relationship has MORE power.

(C) Women want guys who are WANTED by OTHER women

I'm sure you can see why you fucked up now. When you sense a girl's interest declining, or when she devalues you by calling you "kid," you do NOT just "brush it off." You've misinterpreted when people say "play it cool." You act like it didn't affect you, but you WITHDRAW attention. You should have better things to do than help inflate a girls ego as a part-time hobby.

Clearly she had you by the balls the entire relationship. You have to maintain a CHALLENGE aspect, which means YOU need to be the prize. By supplementing her with extra texts and pleas for attention, you allow yourself to be devalued and you look like a chump in her eyes. She's thinking "wow, he must have no other options." It's a huge turn off for women.

Ditching those 4 other girls was a terrible mistake. Always keep orbiters around, it shows other girls that you are pre-selected and boosts YOUR confidence. Men who have OPTIONS simply have a different aura about them.

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My Blog: www.solvemygirlproblems.com

Thats exactly what i needed to know from a pro. Looking back now she was testing me all through the 3 month relationship and got very bored. As you say she had me by the balls and i was her little puppy dog. I think now it is irrelevent if another guy was involved or if she had a lot on. I fucked up by playing her game. Knowing this now i will not happen again. Feel like a weight has been lifted.

i agree with everything the other guy said and just to add my 2 cent worth---there almost always is another guy---they almost always have someone new lined up before jumping ship--and if you want to know when she first banged him it was just before all that kid and pal B.S---that was just her guilt, and the new poodle names was just her retroactively justifying what she did ---'' I didn't know him that well'' ''we werent anything serious'' etc etc-- attempting to create distance