the line between "alpha" and disrespect



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PostPosted: Fri Jun 03, 2011 9:13 am 
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imma make this short and to the point.

ive got this coworker that definately does all this pua stuff cuz ive seen the show and he follows all their techniques to a T. well, im in the middle of a conversation w. this girl that likes me and i like her (and he KNOWS it) and he comes walking out of nowhere and stands directly in front of me w/ his back turned and blocks me outta the convo. i thought in the pua world blocking people out like that was a technique just used to defuse asshole "amogs" that deserve it? to me, what he did isnt being "alpha" as you pua people call it, thats flat out disrespect - especially since we're "friends". i wanna confront him about it but i dont know how to cuz this is going on at work. if i say too much i get fired cuz hes the bosses favorite.


any ideas how to handle this situation? its eventually going to result in violence if he keeps doing it. i thought in the pua world blocking people out like that was a technique just used to defuse angry "amogs"?


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 03, 2011 9:32 am 
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ahh dude,

i used to work with a guy who did that to me. he most definitely was NOT my friend. although he acted as he was. one time i told him flat out "you stand in front of me like that again when i'm having a conversation, and i will fucking move you out of the way".

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 03, 2011 9:57 am 
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ahh dude,

i used to work with a guy who did that to me. he most definitely was NOT my friend. although he acted as he was. one time i told him flat out "you stand in front of me like that again when i'm having a conversation, and i will fucking move you out of the way".
maybe this guy aint my friend either then. i honestly dont think he means any harm by it tho, i think hes just confused as to which situations its appropriate to apply the block out (if thats the term for it). im going to try to diffuse the situation peacefully cuz hes a pretty nice guy overall. if it doesnt work peacefully and i DO decide it needs to result in violence, im not gonna make any threats im just gonna go completely apeshit on him without warning and im not gonna stop till his body goes limp


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 03, 2011 10:15 am 
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it seems like the way "Pua" teaches guys to "be alpha" is nothing more than telling people to totally erase common courtesy from their brains and adopt a completely self centered mentality. like the pua thing about "an alpha hurries for no one" when im walkin through a walkway and someone is standing there doing absolutely nothing and they STILL wanna take 3 seconds before beginning to move and then SLOOOOWLY move out of my way thats just completely uncalled for. i move out of the walkway when i see someone coming, its called courtesy not "beta". taking ur sweet ass time when ur not even busy doing anything aside from breathing isnt "alpha" its obnoxious, as are most of the qualities being taught to people trying to become "alphas". the alpha "invades personal space" is another 1. seems like this pua stuff is just teaching a bunch of ex-nerds to become self absorbed heathens. might as well be a technique saying to drive 30 mph in a 55 zone on ur way to work and tough shit for the fuckers stuck behind u

/endrant (for this post)


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 03, 2011 10:58 am 
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fucking rude .. you should have pushed him out of the way .. hard ...

fuck this dude and fuck his shit...it's not alpha .. it's fucking obnoxious...

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 03, 2011 11:13 am 
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I can tell you one thing:

that guy is no bro /wing man to you. He will say that he is trying to help you with her, but he is not! He wants that girl for himself.

Sometimes it is hard, when an AFC (he is AFC) enters your convo and actually takes over. It seems like he has a stronger frame than you, so your frame will automatically diminish....

The most convenient action a guy would take is: react on the conversation, trying to take over from him, impress, fighting for the girl verbally....But this is ALL WRONG! The girl will sense this and see you both as DLV>

This is what I suggest to do:
1. Don't react to the AFC with his stronger frame (actuallly DHV for you). When AFC tells a joke, don't laugh. Just ignore him politely.

2. Turn your body to the girl (that means you look her in the face, while the AFC will look at your side). You will see that the girl will turn her face to you! [body language-technique]

3. Keep on eye-contact with the girl, look sensually, She will be attracted by your eyes and will ignore the AFC with this stories. In a moment, you and the girl are making connection through eye contact, and no one is listening to AFC.

4. The AFC will notice this and will try harder to get you two in his frame. Keep on the eye-contact and answer the AFC with only 'YES' or 'NO'. DO NOT TURN YOUR FACE AWAY FROM THE GIRL (Then you willl break the connection)

5. The AFC should have left this convo, since he noticed he lost his frame. If he is still there, you look at the girl, put your hand on her upper arm and say:'let's grab a coffee' [you are NOT asking, you tell her!].


This will do the work!!!

All above are from '60 years of challenge'. I tailored it a bit. This should help you ditching fucking AFC's and create DHV in front of the girl.

Good luck!


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 03, 2011 1:33 pm 
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Thats not alpha at all, thats just being a dick. I would pull him aside and confront him about it. If he persits, try this: Just as he is stepping in front of you, move to where you are standing directly next to him (make sure u the girl can see you). Then slap him on the ass really hard (give it a little grasp for extra emphasis) and say to him "excuse me sir I was talking to the lady".


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 03, 2011 4:42 pm 
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I would've punched him in the face. Seriously, if you tell a guy "I'm gonna slap you across the face the next time you do that" you immediately reset his social value to lower than yours and he probably won't forget it. While social adaptively is the primary selector for status in society nowadays, physically establishing higher value / authority is still the ultimate, most raw form of dominance.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 03, 2011 6:10 pm 
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Whatever you do don't actually begin with physical violence. He thinks he's being alpha but really he hasn't learned how. The best thing you can do is give it to him straight. Say something like hey buddy, I was clearly talking to this girl and what you did was pretty fucking beta. Find your own women.
Maybe his issue is that he can't open for himself. And btw when you're alone with him tell him he's not playing at alpha role correctly and he should work on his game.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 03, 2011 11:19 pm 
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the prick i worked with who used to always step in front of me when i was talking to a client or when he was talking to the client, pissed me off so bad one day.

i called him to let him know, after he punched out, i would be waiting in the parking lot to discuss it "man to man".

his tune changed so fucking quick, his voice raised about three octaves on the phone.

when he did finally get outside, there i was standing next to his truck and just said "we need to talk".

he started trying to be all buddy-buddy with me.

i said "look, i am a respectful guy. i give respect where i get respect. and i'm letting you know, if you ever disrespect me like that in front of a client (or in general) again, i'm going to put you in your fucking place" and i got in my vehicle and drove off.

never had a problem with him again. of course, like a little faggot, he ended up getting me fired later, lol. little bitch.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 03, 2011 11:40 pm 
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That is completely rude.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 03, 2011 11:43 pm 
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Don't blame pua lifestyle for what he did. Being assholes or disrespecting a friend is absolutely not what a pua is nor is any of the material teach that. I don't know if this kid misinterpret something or he's dumb or he's a punk but what you should do is take him aside and say what he did is not cool and that you dont appreciate it. If he understands then dont bring it up anymore and just move on hoping it wont happen again.

Most likely it wont happen again but if it does then youll know to never trust him and best to not give him your time.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 12:17 am 
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Being alpha is controlling the situation, being an asshole is cock blocking your buddies. I recommend you study our fine forum some more and learn how to out game him. Prove to him you are the alpha male, and he should not be strutting your territory.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 2:33 am 
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Don't blame pua lifestyle for what he did. Being assholes or disrespecting a friend is absolutely not what a pua is nor is any of the material teach that. I don't know if this kid misinterpret something or he's dumb or he's a punk but what you should do is take him aside and say what he did is not cool and that you dont appreciate it. If he understands then dont bring it up anymore and just move on hoping it wont happen again.

Most likely it wont happen again but if it does then youll know to never trust him and best to not give him your time.
i think your right about the misenterpreting part, i dont think he has bad intentions i think he just misunderstands the whole body language concept. i dont really follow the whole pua scene i just be myself. and for the record, he has no chance with the girl at all. she says every time she sees him a picture of a kid w/ downs syndrome pops in her head so its really not about the girl anyways, its about the disrespect towards me.

the thing about taking his sweet time to move outta the way when im comin through a walkway is 1 of the major things that bugs me. when i see someone coming i move outta the way so they can walk through, seems like he feels the need to make the person wait 2 seconds before moving. next time he does it i wanna just snatch his feet out from under him and put him on the floor and just step over him. am i being petty and overly sensitive or do u guys think i have a legit reason to be bothered by him taking his sweet ass time to move outta my way?


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 4:47 am 
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well if you fight cause he took to long to move out of the way then it will make you look bad in front of anyone that sees you there.

What I would do is the same thing I do in clubs which is lightly push my hand on their back or arm to move them out of my way as I walk through. It might not be the same during the daytime, cant really say but doing that will show that you're busy and dont have time to wait for people to move at their pace. You can say something like watch out bro as you walk through or dont say anything really.

Whenever you have these types of problems, look for mature solutions that shows you have social intelligence.


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