Based My Happiness On Getting A Date - Now Depressed



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PostPosted: Wed Jun 01, 2011 6:59 pm 
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Finally I've broken down and the past few days i've felt like absolute sh**. The beginning of the story starts about a couple of weeks ago where I made a plan to get dates from a few of the girls I've been gaming. I had a definitely list, maybe list and most likely list all tied up in my head. For the past two weeks I've been working on the girls who were 'definitely' (in my head anyway). Basically BOTH of them have sold me out and another one which was meant to be coming isn't speaking to me anymore. I seriously feel like square one again, I thought I've come so far because I can easily get a girl to agree to a date. However, the harsh reality is, if a girl agrees it doesn't mean 100%.

So for the first time my confidence is being rocked because of recent events. What upset me the most was the fact a girl who agreed so enthusiastically a few weeks ago was so cold with me a few days ago. Then when I ask her out she says she can't but will in a month without even giving an excuse.

As a note all these girls I've tried to game were over Facebook because they were ones i've met when I was Afc and also because they aren't in my social circle and I haven't seen them in a while. Below is a strategy I used on a specific girl, the one that flaked and upset me.

How can I improve my dating strategy?
Simply put I think my dating strategy sucks when it comes to asking girls out. I would really help if you guys can analyse if what i'm doing is wrong or not. As you'll see I don't contact them that often.
Step 1 - Speak to them and tease them
Step 2 - Try and qualify and state what I like about them
Step 3 - Ask them out to do something specific like pool or a drink
Step 4 - Get their number and give an estimate of the time (i.e. half term)
Step 5 - Wait until it's a few days until the date then message and try and re-initiate contact and see what shes been up to.
Step 6 - Remind her of the date.

Basically I left this girl for a couple of weeks and didn't speak much after setting up a estimate time for the date (half term) then when I came back she was cold as ice even after i tried to spark up some attraction by bringing up old subjects which i teased her on.

Where am I going wrong!?

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 01, 2011 7:03 pm 
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I'm depressed just looking at shit :lol: .

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 01, 2011 9:08 pm 
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Quote:
How can I improve my dating strategy?
Simply put I think my dating strategy sucks when it comes to asking girls out. I would really help if you guys can analyse if what i'm doing is wrong or not. As you'll see I don't contact them that often.
Step 1 - Speak to them and tease them
Step 2 - Try and qualify and state what I like about them
Step 3 - Ask them out to do something specific like pool or a drink
Step 4 - Get their number and give an estimate of the time (i.e. half term)
Step 5 - Wait until it's a few days until the date then message and try and re-initiate contact and see what shes been up to.
Step 6 - Remind her of the date.
If you're absolutely positive that everything you're doing up until ^this point is flawless and good - then I would say that ^this point could be the problem.

You get the girl to accept a Day 2. Then you wait a few days before initiating contact again?

I'll tell you how I do it, maybe you can try it out . . .

I get her to agree on a Day 2. I get her number and we set something up (step 4 in your 'system').

First off - I set the time for the date to be ASAP. Not too far ahead. I do this because NOW is the time she likes me so NOW is the time to take action. If I set a date up for 3 weeks ahead, it's gonna give her plenty of time to drift away and go cold. Soooo many things can happen in this time interval. The maximum time limit that I've used to set up a date is 7 days from the moment she agreed on a date.

^That's just a preference of mine and I can't tell if longer time intervals are WORSE, since I haven't field tested it. Like I said, it's just a preference and to me it seems that the sooner = the better.

OK, so now we got a date. What I do next is keep in touch with her as much as possible from the moment I get her number. I keep the heat between us alive. Note that 'as much as possible' means under appropriate levels and NOT being clingy and annoying.

I keep this contact alive between us all the way until the date.

The date happens.

The End.

From what I understood from your 'system', your greatest enemy is time. You're letting time interfere too much.

But like I said, this all applies under consideration that you're confident that everything you do up until this point is fluent and smooth.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 01, 2011 9:20 pm 
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Hey how's it going?

I think the reason they flaked is because you set up these dates on Facebook and the timing is pretty bad... Or way too long.

I don't do Facebook dates for this reason, AT ALL period. Not saying, it doesn't work, I'm sure it does if you keep it fresh. But let's be honest, most guys who set up dates on Facebook enjoy the idea that it is EASIER/less risky.

You're trying to set a precedent. Setting a date over Facebook isn't the precedent you really what to use.

Also, everything has to be fluid with women. None of this, I'll leave them for a week then expect to hit off where we left off. It's all about building a steady MOMENTUM and continuing this momentum at all costs. Maybe this is something you need to work on.

So, I think you need to work on reaching NEW women/girls where your interaction was remembered as one of confidence and not being an AFC.

Setting up day 2's much earlier and not leaving week long break periods. Sure you don't wanna seem needy but women are all about consistency.

And lastly, perhaps most importantly, work on face to face dating. It will mean you have to step out of your comfort zone. But you MUST do this.

Don't get too upset. I've been there... We've all been there. Changing bad habits can be really difficult. But change you must.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 01, 2011 10:18 pm 
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Little Panda, Tweeby:

There is a reason behind this method and why I leave the contact till the last minute when I want the date. Well simply put I feel that if i've got a girl to agree, I can just leave her and hopefully come back where we left off. I read somewhere in one of the pick up books that 'The more you speak, the more chance you have to mess it up' believe me when i say that I fall into that category. When I'm continuously texting a girl i'll get bored and say something stupid.

However my BIGGEST FEAR of all is if I go to all that effort to get the date and the girl will give me her number and then not text me back or that the conversation dies out and guarantees I don't get a date. This is what holds me back and makes me not want to text them and hope that they feel the same way a few days before the date. I should know better because the last time I got a lay me and the girl were texting each other every day for a week/two until it happened.

Tweeby I know you said I shouldn't game over Facebook but unfortunately i'm from a small town where my social circle mainly consists of lads. I'm back from university and really want to test my game skills. I've got an insta date from day game before so socially i'm not that bad.

Little Panda your strategy certainly makes sense but as I said i don't want the conversation to get boring before the date and I don't want the girl to think i'm clingy, especially if i'm texting her often (once a day). Most girls who I get the number off show some flow of conversation but little investment. It's funny because as I said the last time i got laid the girl was qualifying to me like crazy saying she's adventurous and stuff.

Should my new step 5 be text her once a day EVERYDAY from the point of me taking the number and get her to qualify until the date!?

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 02, 2011 2:36 am 
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Quote:
Basically I left this girl for a couple of weeks and didn't speak much after setting up a estimate time for the date (half term) then when I came back she was cold as ice even after i tried to spark up some attraction by bringing up old subjects which i teased her on.
Why would you try and setup a date weeks ahead of time? It's like making plans to casually hangout with your friends in three weeks. They'd probably just laugh and tell you to fuck off for being weird.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 02, 2011 5:38 am 
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You've prepared and cooked your dinner, taken it out of the oven, but because you werent eating it for a while it went cold. You dont have to constantly apply heat to keep it warm, but you do have to apply some at certain intervals when it starts to cool off. To know when its cooling off you have to monitor it periodically.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 02, 2011 7:39 am 
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Should my new step 5 be text her once a day EVERYDAY from the point of me taking the number and get her to qualify until the date!?
Don't think about how much in quantity you're texting her. Just make sure the flame is kept alive during the time you don't see each other, before the Day 2. Because if you don't keep the flame alive, it will go cold and die out.

No need for super-conversations to be going on. I sometimes just send the girl a random bad joke.

"Did you know that Jesus spelled backwards sounds like sausage?"

It's sort of like Inception. Just planting myself in her head once in a while.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 02, 2011 11:50 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
Should my new step 5 be text her once a day EVERYDAY from the point of me taking the number and get her to qualify until the date!?
Don't think about how much in quantity you're texting her. Just make sure the flame is kept alive during the time you don't see each other, before the Day 2. Because if you don't keep the flame alive, it will go cold and die out.

No need for super-conversations to be going on. I sometimes just send the girl a random bad joke.

"Did you know that Jesus spelled backwards sounds like sausage?"

It's sort of like Inception. Just planting myself in her head once in a while.
Thanks. I guess I just wasn't putting enough work into the girls and trying to connect. Even though I hate texting I guess It's one of the things I'm going to have to do if I want the date. I'll be sure to report back here in a few weeks to report if changing this part of my game has helped.

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