Hi guys,
Basically a girl who I used to date about a year and a half ago has now gone and flaked on me today. We fell out after a couple of dates and have recently made back up about a month ago. I got her number and said we should hang out for drinks with a few friends. She agreed enthusiastically and I arranged an exact time, place and date that It would happen. I told her I was going with a friend and that she should bring a friend as well.

So all was going well until she said she had 'Just' passed her driving test which means that she needs to sort out insurance which was an hour before i was supposed to meet her. In the end she said she would text me but didn't so it was just me and my mate chilling in the bar.

The main possibility is that she got over excited about passing and swerved me or that it was just bull****.
What I don't get is why she wouldn't tell me that she has her driving test and might not be able to make it.

What do you guys think?

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I don't even need directions from you, but I'm gonna get an erection from you.

Did she text you at all after that to apologize for now showing up or to see how the night went? If she didn't, there is a good possibility that her interest level was not high enough and she was blowing you off. Or, she is a complete snot with no disregard for anyone's feelings. Either way, don't beat yourself over it. Look back and see if you did all the right things to build her attraction and where you might have made mistakes.

Personally, I don't have the patience to deal with flakiness. I would have found other women to game at the bar and forgotten this girl completely.

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Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. - Robert Greene

Sorry to tell you this, but this was done when you fell out of touch after two dates.

You get one chance per girl, per lifetime. Once her attraction dips below a certain point you're finished. That's how women's psychology is wired.

Her excuse was in fact bullshit, and she is stringing you along and toying with your emotions at this point to see how far you'll go to see if you can get her back. She flaked on you too with a lame excuse. How much more of a hint do you need? She's making a fool of you if you keep trying.

I know a girl here in San Diego that gets together with her girlfriends to drink wine and listen to the voicemails they all get from the chumps that can't figure out the girls are not interested. The guys keep trying and trying while the girls are laughing at them. It's sick, but it's war out there. I'm amazed at the number of people on this forum that just can't grasp how 'the game' actually works. You can study all day, but there is a point where it just clicks.

My guess is you messed this up from the beginning or she was never into you. It's time to keep getting phone numbers.

Well put sir...

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Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. - Robert Greene

I want to thank you for your response. What you've said has actually made sense. 1. She didn't apologize and 2. Her excuse was lame because a test on the date is obvious.

When I blew her off after we we were dating it was pretty bad. I basically said I didn't want to speak to her because she was always negative. I do feel as though she has strung me along here but thankfully only a day or two. The funny thing is I actually wanted to get into her friend that she was going to bring as I knew I had a good chance.

Another reason I dumped her was because we were dating and she was being slutty and sleeping with other lads so she obviously has no disregard for anyones emotions. Thankfully I have another date coming up in a week or so with a girl that I can get somewhere with.

Good point on females psychology but I know other girls that I've blown off and they've been even more attracted to me when we make up. This is evident from this other girl getting jealous when her friend chats me up on Facebook.

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I don't even need directions from you, but I'm gonna get an erection from you.

Start gaming her friend, and forget the first one. Flush her number. That's an excellent way of letting her know you won't be fucked with. It will make her want you even more, but never take her back. Pussy-cats compete.

That's a problem if you just had two dates with her and you know for a fact she's banging a bunch of other guys. If I know a girl is whore going into a relationship I only treat that situation as a sexual conquest, and I try not to invest any emotion into it. Did you have sex with this girl?

You might 'make up' with a girl so to speak, but this is only short lived. Generally she has other motivations for getting back together whether it's for revenge, using you to make someone jealous, or to raise her self esteem. You can tell when a girl has integrity, and this girl has none. You need to realize that this girl is only good for sex.

Okay good points but the only issue is I've never met her friend and only seen pictures of her on Facebook. Therefor she isn't on my Facebook and I would have to add her and try and run game through private mail which is much harder than over a drink.

I did not have sex with this girl because at the time I was a virgin and didn't want to lose it to a girl who was negative. It wasn't the fact she was banging other guys it was the fact she thought she was something special. I had a very good chance to sleep with her as she said I should come over to hers just after she went home when we were kissing. I decided against it as I was also suffering from onesis from the last girl which put me off badly. After that disaster don't think I dated another girl for about a year haha.

Now i've had sex I really don't care and if the girl turns me on i'm going for it. Her friend is still my main target though.

How would you approach the situation with her friend gathering the circumstances?
Do you think it's a bad idea to make it obvious and let her know I want to date her friend and get into her pants?

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I don't even need directions from you, but I'm gonna get an erection from you.

Congratulations. You're the first male I've heard of that turned down pussy, because they didn't want to fuck a 'negative' girl' that thought she was special. Most girls think they're special, and If they're offering I'm taking.

It sounds like you're young. You need to try to separate your emotions from sex. I understand it might be hard, but you need to try. It's just sex. You're not going down the aisle tomorrow to get married. Stop getting yourself tied down emotionally in long relationships. If you're really young play the field.

Does the friend even know about you through the other girl? I think it's a long shot without meeting her some way.

That is probably true. You're right I had only turned 17 at the time and had hardly any game so I was a bit emotionally unstable. I basically wanted to lose my virginity to a girl who I was in a relationship with and really liked (Must have thought It was going to be a fairly tale story). However since I had no game I basically couldn't get with attractive girls even if they were attracted to me and showed me obvious signs, I was also arrogant and thought I could and blew girls off if they did one thing wrong. I only got lucky with this girl because I had known her for so long and got lucky in that I used some game and was mainly cocky and funny with her.

Her friend does know me in that she's heard about me and probably knows I've dated the girl I used to date. We went to the same high school. Now the drinks are off and i'm yet to have a response from her I doubt that's ever going to happen, mainly so because she's dug the nail in the coffin even for friendship. Still I'll try over Facebook but the chances are the girl I used to date is going to find out.

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I don't even need directions from you, but I'm gonna get an erection from you.

Don't worry about a response for drinks. Like I said this scenario is over. Ignore all calls, texts, and emails. I tell other people on this forum to lay back and enjoy the satisfaction of blowing her off.....forever. If you see her again somewhere just play it cool and say, "Hello." and that's it.

If I were you I wouldn't go after the friend unless you get some face time where you can run game. For example, if you see her out somewhere without her bitch friend lagging along then by all means go after her. I think a Facebook message out of nowhere is going to look creepy and stalker-ish especially since you dated the friend. If she and her friend are really competitive or are at odds with each other then it might work in your favor, but all that is unknown to you. If you think you will never see the girl again then it's your call. You don't really have anything to lose, but don't invest a lot of time thinking about it.

Ummmm... ouch?? I learned the hard way that this is how most women are in SD. They are BRUTAL! They literally have guys hitting on them constantly. You absolutely have to be a PUA or have a firm grasp of the game to even have conversations with these women.

Was a rough period going from Southern Gentleman to Californian Asshole....

I think Socal women in general are a different breed, but you know it really depends on where you are in SD. It's pretty easy to get laid for a one nighter in Pacific Beach or in Ocean Beach (college girls). When you're in the more affluent areas like La Jolla or Del Mar the gold diggers come out of the woodwork and really put the guard up. I lived in Santa Barbara for a number of years and there were an extraordinary amount of bitches there too, but it was the amount of douchebag guys out there competing with you that I hated. It was probably the circles I was running in, but I just didn't feel like lowering myself to the level of losers I was meeting on a weekly basis just to get laid. There's an inordinate amount of scumbags in that town for some reason. San Diego seemed to be a welcome scene compared to SB. I think it was the bigger population and a cooler career-oriented 30's crowd versus the service industry workers and ultra rich in SB that I found suited me better.

I know what you mean about the gentleman thing. You have to change yourself if you want to compete. Its finding that balance of how much of an 'asshole' you need to be that will help you succeed.

I thought of this later. I have a couple of friends in SD that do really well getting laid on first dates on www.match.com If you set it up right it seems a lot of the girls on there are into casual sex just as much as guys.

It's interesting how you guys say that being more of a douche helps you get better results. I'm not going to lie whenever I used neg theory my game just deteriorated. When i'm in the zone with women i'm always the confident, charming, interesting and enthusiastic person. Guess you've just got to test what works for you really.

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I don't even need directions from you, but I'm gonna get an erection from you.

I never said to be a douche, but just don't take any shit off of anyone. There is a big difference between arrogance and confidence. Arrogance is obnoxious. We all know those guys, and they do well with a certain kind of woman. If you walk into a room and try to make others look bad and bring them down to make yourself look better that's not game. Those guys were a running problem I had while living in Santa Barbara like I was saying. I consider myself somewhat of an asshole, but let's just say that's not my 'brand' of asshole. I eventually met my best friends and wingmen that I am more suited to. We help each other instead of trying to outdo each other. Douchebags usually have even more of a deep seeded insecurity than nice guys. The ones I knew were also dealing with drug and alcohol problems, so even though they were getting decent amount of tail their lives were a complete train wreck.

You're right. It's about finding the right mix for you by tweaking and testing what works for you. In my opinion it's also about meeting the certain types of girls that you want to attract. I think most guys with experience know what kinds of girls are attracted to them. However, I think a lot of pick up artists will say that if you've got game then you can get any kind of girl you want if you know the right buttons to push. I'm not sure what I think about that theory.

I suggest reading the book No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover.

Went to San Diego two years ago. Went to Gas Lamp Quarter - had women hitting on me EVERYWHERE - I guess cos I was English.

For five days I had eight different women, six of whom I took to mission beach and done the deed. Love san diego women.