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When i approach open etc.. etc..
i start asking, like weird questions however i feel comfortable when saying them, so wouldnt that portray comfort onto them?
am i not the comfort king?
What kinds of things are you asking, and how?
It's true that if you seem comfortable and calm, they will take that cue from you, but not 100% of the time.
Sometimes you can be TOO calm, and they'll say things like "do you do this a lot?" because you're starting to sound scripted and it's coming off insincere.
Sometimes, even though you're calm, they're totally taken aback by your method of approach, and so you need to help them get calm again. If you go over the top with the zany/funny/random, you'll get them either giggling and just running away, or those annoying "where's the camera / is this is a dare / where are your friends" questions, which can sometimes be difficult to overcome because you lose trust and rapport early on.
The way I calibrate it is fairly simple.
If they are not particularly interested in my opener, so I just get a "uh, ok." or "thanks" without much of a smile, then I ramp up the zany/funny humour to make sure she laughs a bit at the start of the interaction, then I tone it back down and have a normal conversation.
If they are really taken aback by the opener, so I get a "omg thank you, that's so sweet!" or just lots of smiling and laughing, then I've done the job of starting with that emotional spike, and I can tone it down and just ask simple questions they can easily answer, so they don't get too overwhelmed.
A lot of guys say "don't ask things like what are you up to" because they're boring. I think in the latter case, that question is totally fine, as long as you can take it somewhere interesting thereafter. For example I might say something like
Me: "So what'cha up to on the glorious British summer day?" (it's grey and chilly)
Her: "Oh, just doing some shopping" (she has no bags)
Me: "Ah I see, and not doing too well at it from what I gather" (pointing to lack of bags)
Me: "So, you've gone out, searching for, I dunno, purple dildos or whatever you girls these day buy, you clearly haven't been able to find any that are the right size, and suddenly this hot guy comes up and randomly starts chatting you up, so I bet you're thinking "well shit, this IS my lucky day" huh?"
See, the simple question starts off a bit of pacing her reality, which builds a bit of rapport, and then you can go off and inject a bit of random humour to make things a bit more fun and interesting.
CHAT