Hello guys,my first post here.Maybe it will be long but try to read it whole please.
Ok lets start,im 21,she's 23.We were in a relationship for about 6-7 months,and it was all great,she even said we will get married and such things (ye i know its bullshit ),well we broke up around 4 months ago.Before she met me,she was in a relationship with a dude from another city on the seaside,it only lasted 1 month,but she is totally obsessed with him,she told me she sees "signs" and such shit,while his name is the most common name in my country,and his city is wellknown tourist destination(LOL yea i know,she's crazy).So during our relationship,he called her,and they talked for 15 minutes,and since then it all went wrong.We broke up 1 month after that,but she never told me the true reason,but i know its because of him.After the breakup,i initiated the no-contact,it all went fine,but at some point i became a pussy,and asked her to give me another chance and such things,and i killed my chances of getting her back.Oh and to mention this,on our first 2-3 dates,she told me we cant be together,that her being older is a big problem,but i proved her wrong and i got her,and now i know if i only get to kiss her and play it right,she'd be mine again.Now you're probably wondering what is this guys point,i just want your opinions and advices of what should i do.Im not crazy about her anymore,but i still want her,and i know i can still have her,just need advices from someone more experienced about that topic.So any help would be nice.Thanks guys,Matija

He out-gamed you man. Just forget about her, she's not that great I guarantee you, and go find another girl. Remember that you are worth a beautiful, mature women that wants you for YOU. If she's obsessed with some other guy don't waste your time, but remember that it was your fault for letting his previous game defeat yours. He just struck her more powerfully then you did. Fuck getting her back, just move on. But if you want to keep your chances with her open in the future, don't degrade her by getting mad and texting her some stupid shit, and don't jump at the first oppurtunity she throws at you. Maintain emotional distance, ignore a few calls of hers and then text her randomly "I think I missed a call from you, what's up?" Don't jump through her hoops, and make her come crawling back to you.

But in the meantime, go out and bang ten other chicks. Get over her.

Hehe yeah i agree on that,he out-gamed me.But i know i can out-game him now,like i did before.She can be crazy sometimes,but she used to pull only good things from me,like i was 10 times better in every aspect while in a relationship with her.The only advantage that guy had over me was him being a non smoker,and now i quit smoking so im totally better than him.It's like i wanna do something to either success 100% or fail 100%,which means either i'll get her back or we wont speak ever again.She used to call me and send stupid messages just to get my attention,i know that i still have chances,im superconfident again,even more than i was before the relationship...

and btw,i am gaming other chicks,it's just i haven't found that one special chick like she was and now i want to try to win her again.Maybe it's lame,but i dunno,i feel like i have to do it...

In my experience, putting myself out there trying to get an ex back by doing things I wouldn't normally do to attract a girl just confuses me, makes me feel insecure, and causes me pain. Life is a learning experience, just be careful man.

Well after some thinking,i decided i will test my game on her.I'll send her a message next week and invite her to party that hood in my city organizes.Let's see what will happen

i'm replying here to subscribe to the post. please let us know how it goes man

This is just a little update,can some PUA help me with this please?Yesterday i went on her facebook profile and i saw she uploaded a picture that says something like "biggest enemy of love is distance bla bla bla",so i guess maybe she got back in contact with that guy from other town(her ex).Now my question is,what should i do to get her to go out with me and make her feel the same as she has before the breakup.I know i can,i already did it before the breakup,im super confident now.Should i just send something like "hey,are u free on thursday around 8 pm",and when she answers,just say "ok then,im taking you out to a party",if she says no or some shit like that,i was thinking of saying something like "oh,i thought u were ok with us being friends now,nevermind then".If that isn't good enough,please help me,i don't want to sound needy.Thanks in advance

-Matija

Okay. I know you're not gonna like what I have to say. But I'ma say it anyway.

First things first - you're not getting her back anytime soon. You need to forget about her (I know that's the hardest part for you at the moment.)

You need to go and read up on PUA material (Mystery Method) and go get other girls, DHV, be congruent in your new lifestyle. When you change, THEN the girl might be interested. At the end of the day, if you chase her right now, she will not come to you.

I hope this helps and good luck with everything. Sorry if I sound harsh.

Hagakure01 is completely right, you need to quit this cold-turkey (just like smoking) but I'm betting you still want to try. So I'll try to break this down, point by point.
If you were going to get her back it would have been within a few days or weeks, and you would have KNOWN it would happen because there would have been phone calls and text messages and crying and begging and pleading on her end.
You are correct. You two are not together because of this other guy. What you don't realize is that your original relationship was a ticking bomb just waiting to explode--this girl was NEVER over this other dude. I promise. You were just a place-filler. Sorry.
The point of no contact is that you have a legitimate chance of getting over the breakup without embarrassing yourself, but you must be committed to no contact. It can't just be a breakup game you play.

If she had been interested in getting back with you, she would have contacted you. This isn't a sick game where the girl has all these predefined rules, and you broke one, so you don't get to "win." If she felt she had made a mistake in breaking up with you, she would have agreed to come back to you.
That is weird. That is a bizarre thing to believe for a 21 and 23 year old couple.

The bottom line is... I've been there before, and I've seen this storyline many times before in this forum, and it just doesn't work. You're over thinking things, because you're emotional, but it has been four months and you can do better than this. Don't live your life hoping you can get back with this girl who has always been obsessed with her ex.

_________________
- Lux et Veritas -

[/quote]
Okay. I know you're not gonna like what I have to say. But I'ma say it anyway.

First things first - you're not getting her back anytime soon. You need to forget about her (I know that's the hardest part for you at the moment.)

You need to go and read up on PUA material (Mystery Method) and go get other girls, DHV, be congruent in your new lifestyle. When you change, THEN the girl might be interested. At the end of the day, if you chase her right now, she will not come to you.

I hope this helps and good luck with everything. Sorry if I sound harsh.[/quote]

I like any kind of help,and i want an honest answer,like u gave me.

The problem is,it's been around 4 months since breakup,and everytime i actually do forget about her,she calls me or send a message.

I'll read some more,other girls are not a problem,i have a few girls i can always contact and hang out,but it's just,i think i really love this one.I have changed,but i can't show it to her if we dont meet.

The biggest problem is this,at the start of summer,she is going to leave my town and go work to the seaside,so i won't have a chance to see her until september.

Maybe you can give me a new advice when i gave you more info?And you didn't sound harsh.Thanks mate

-Matija

Wal you're post was great,it made me think of all what u said. And i realized,maybe i just want a revenge on her,because i was only a place-filler?I don't know,like if i could have sex with her when we go out,and never contact her again.Now that im thinking this,it looks nice.

And btw,she did call me after the breakup,i even kissed her around 15 days of breakup and she was all over me,we nearly had sex,but then i rushed things and said that i want all or nothing,on which she replied "currently i can't be with you,so nothing".Thanks guys,

-Matija

Okay. I know you're not gonna like what I have to say. But I'ma say it anyway.

First things first - you're not getting her back anytime soon. You need to forget about her (I know that's the hardest part for you at the moment.)

You need to go and read up on PUA material (Mystery Method) and go get other girls, DHV, be congruent in your new lifestyle. When you change, THEN the girl might be interested. At the end of the day, if you chase her right now, she will not come to you.

I hope this helps and good luck with everything. Sorry if I sound harsh.[/quote]

I like any kind of help,and i want an honest answer,like u gave me.

The problem is,it's been around 4 months since breakup,and everytime i actually do forget about her,she calls me or send a message.

I'll read some more,other girls are not a problem,i have a few girls i can always contact and hang out,but it's just,i think i really love this one.I have changed,but i can't show it to her if we dont meet.

The biggest problem is this,at the start of summer,she is going to leave my town and go work to the seaside,so i won't have a chance to see her until september.

Maybe you can give me a new advice when i gave you more info?And you didn't sound harsh.Thanks mate

-Matija[/quote]

The reason she is calling you and texting is because she's seeing if she can still have you to make her feel good about herself and her feminine power. She is, in essence, still using you. She has no intention (at this moment in time) of having you back. The best revenge you can get right now is not using her for sex or anything like that. No. The best revenge you can get on her is to completely ignore her, don't reply to her texts, don't answer her calls, don't even "like" her status updates on facebook. Cut off all communication with her, block her on MSN, block her on AIM, and on your facebook homepage - hide all status updates by her. This is the first step in revenge. This whole process will take alot of time but will be oh-so-sweet when you achieve it.

The next step in getting your revenge is to switch your lifestyle up. You say you have other girls you can have but don't want, well then to me that tells me you're doing alot of things right already. However, it is in your best interest to read Mystery Method by Mystery to improve on any areas you're not good at. This book will teach you ALOT. After reading that book you will have alreadystarted to apply it's teachings. You will rise up and DHV (Demonstrate Higher Value) and become "Alpha." When this happens this girl you are talking about will notice and will chase you to try and get you back. This is when you will feel the revenge has been achieved. It's a sweet feeling. You can either choose to have her back or to not. Personally I would choose not to have her back but that's your call and your decision to make.

So all in all, the fact she's going away until September and everything else that you've told me, none of what I just said will happen until after she comes back at least.

^^^Yes!^^^

(Well, all except the Mystery Method hahaha... I dunno, maybe read several different styles. Don't get hung up on just one)

Yes. The BEST thing you can do for yourself, Matija, is to completely ignore this girl. You've already made it clear you want a relationship with her (todo o nada) and she said nada. Now, every time you respond to her at all, it inflates her ego and makes you hurt more because you expect something to develop. So, ignore, ignore, ignore... do whatever you have to do to ignore her.

If at some point in the future she calls you and you don't feel a pang of sadness or regret for not being her boyfriend, then it is safe to respond. But at that point it will be your CHOICE.

Buena suerte.

EDIT: Revenge is over-rated. You may think you want to but it is not going to go down like you planned. You want a relationship, and she doesn't want it. Accepting that is a great start.

_________________
- Lux et Veritas -

Wow,you guys are great!Im gonna read the mystery method and other books in here.And from now on she is being ignored! I already feel better!Thanks guys for your help!

-Matija

While I agree with you, I think it's natural that after the feeling of sadness comes a feeling of anger and it's often good to vent that anger with revengeful thoughts. The anger passes and Matija will soon forget all about revenge as soon as he's happy with other chicks. But it is a sweet feeling when someone you would have done anything for and that rejected you for some inferior dude comes crawling for you

Good luck Matija, make sure you stick around on the forum and become the best version of you

Sretno