I've been doing Hypnoticas Collection of Confidence for this last few weeks while also listening to the Sphinx of Imagination. Both have solidified my Inner Game and things were going great... AMAZING material!

Met a girl ageeees ago and she was all over me on the night of my house party but we ended up in different clubs... no problem, I didn't care at the time. 6 months later she starts saying to her friends that she has a massive crush on me so my mate gives me her number telling me he has told her I'll text her. I never planned to (hard to get) and as expected she messaged within an hour. All going good as she is chasing. This continues to the point where she seems a clingy but nonetheless we go out and have a cracking first date. End of the night she pulls me in and kisses me. Shortly after, a text saying 'Sorry, I dont usually do that on a 1st date' followed along with messages of how much of good night it was. These carry on and she seems a little clingy, probably because of my reluctance to give her any form of control.

Second date comes and she introduces me to her parents (I felt a bit odd but surely a good sign). Things were going well with her chasing but then the 'clingyness' sort of stopped. Could the continous control of things put her in a state of 'he will reply eventually so dont need to message twice'? Anyway, thats not my point

Went out on Friday night with the lads and met up with her for a little while. We left them as they weren't going to the club (I was massively in the wrong here and know this). I get a few messages complaining that I didnt 1) Buy her a drink 2) Say she looked nice 3) Go sit outside with her 4) Treat her like she was my girlfriend (big ooops on the final one). Clarification comes from me saying I want her with me and she responds with how much she misses me, how much she likes me etc and cant wait for tomorrow. So tomorrow comes... This girl is pretty busy, has a lot of stuff on (college finishes in 4 weeks plus important family stuff). So, she cancels our plans to meet my parents at a BBQ due to college work. I call her bluff and say cancelling plans is not my idea of seeing someone...
Result: She loses the plot saying she expected me to treat her like she was my gf on Friday and that this is a key thing she wants from me and as a result isn't sure if she wants to carry on seeing each other
Counter-Argument: I admit I messed up on Fri. I question why she is basing me on one night and not about all the good times we have had when I have infact treated her like she was mine. After a while, I say I was wrong to have a go about the cancelling of plans and mentioned the following 'I like you, have had some great times with you and want to carry on seeing you, but if you want to not bother anymore based on one night then I would appreciate it if you would let me know'
Final Result: She really appreciates it and should be free at the weekend

So, I feel my control is slipping. I was well on the way to getting a lay from her and so I need to correct this

If you are wondering why I am so bothered about this HB in particular, she has hit every single goal that I have set from the Collection of Confidence perspective!

Hey, this has progressed a bit but need a bit of help/suggestions. I want her as an LTR by the way so need to re-establish the feelings she had

I spoke to her over the weekend saying we needed to talk. I knew she was out with friends so expected her to hang up but she didn't but said she was busy and couldn't speak much so I said I would call her back. Called back but got voicemail so messaged her saying that I needed to speak face-to-face, that I wouldn't usually bother but felt differently about her and that all I wanted to do was to explain then I was done. She agreed but has made sure it is at her work to which I responded saying we would go for a walk or a drink at a local pub... Sorted

So, when I meet up with her I aim to do the following:
1) Compliment her
2) Hug/Kiss her Hello as usual (act like nothing has happened)
3) Get drinks/pass on my small 'I am an arse' gift
4) Explain I know I was in the wrong on the Fri night, that I messed up and that I am never usually like that and enjoy our relationship (anchor the time I went to a few bars with her friends and she was all over me)
5) Explain that I really care about her, that I find it weird that I have grown to be attracted to her (anchor the example of dinner at mine and afternoon in the sun)
6) Tell her that we got along amazing and had brilliant times together and it shouldn't be spoilt by one night (anchor our first date, when I met her parents and lunch after work when I helped her with friend problems)
7) Tell her that I understand that we both have our own lives and respect that she has her own thing as do I. Mention a previous bad experience where the girl was nuts and used me - will never let this happen again so was protecting myself even though I should of realised she wanted to make a go of it (should I do this??). Hence why I have been trying to sort things and see her as often as possible (this shows me as weak but could be a good thing in this instance)
Based on all of the above, I think we should start again and take things as they come and that I am totally OK in the time we spend together (nothing is more important than family and college commitments). If she wants to throw away our good times for one mistake then I'll just walk away

So, does the above look like a good plan? Any changes or additional bits?

I get a slight impression that SHE is gaming ME as she randomly messaged over the w/e asking if I was out in town after we hadn't spoken all day

In my opinion - there's nothing to be apologising for AGAIN. Look, you've done it already, stop doing it. It's a thing that is quite obnoxious, not only for you but for the future aswel. It's a habbit that a lot of people grow into because they are afraid of losing that control or that situation that they are in.

Golden rule: Apologise 1 time, don't mention it again.

Point up next .. don't bring it UP again either. Just go out with her and relive the good old moments, start reffering to the fun things that you have done together.. bring them up and maybe redo them. For example; go back to what you did on your original date.. it'll bring back memories and leave this situation completely in the dust.. where it belongs.

If you want control back, behave like you are in control. When I'm reading your stories it seems that you are looking for too much validation coming from her side, where is the respect from your side my friend? There's no need to rush into her biddings while forgetting yours.

≠ LD

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