I went to a book reading ealier this evening. A crowd gathered outside the entrance, waiting for someone to unlock the door.

I showed up alone. There were two average looking girls I wanted to talk to, but I could think of nothing to say and instead made small talk with a guy from one of my classes. I was feeling and behaving beta.

Halfway through the reading a girl I know came in late and sat next to me. Everyone saw and I felt instantly validated. I am just friends with this girl, but we have a very flirty relationship. We were teasing and pushing each other and everyone saw. I felt more validated and more alpha. After the reading I began to mingle with students and professors. Suddenly I went into what could be called autopilot. I was talking to girls. I was funny and outgoing and it was all just so easy.

Here is my theory. Half the reason one should game with a pivot is social proof, BUT the other half is the unavoidable confidence boost that comes when you know you are being socially proofed.

Flirting with that girl put in such a zone that I think I could have gone to a bar and done well, because being socially proof in front of a crowd of my peers put me in a state of complete ease.

I wonder if there is a way to find that state without experiencing a public DHV?

Confidence is just a state of mind. People gain confidence from the most arbitrary and insignificant things. It's really just a trick of the mind. A pivot is not necessarily necessary. A lot of guys here gain confidence by reading more books or learning new routines. Even if they don't apply any of that knowledge, the fact that they've learned it gives them confidence, and that confidence is usually what helps them with women more than anything. But you could gain the same amount of confidence by buying new clothes or getting a promotion at work or by getting in shape or by buying a new car. It doesn't really matter what gives you confidence, it could be a lucky charm for all it matters, as long as you have it. For you it might be a pivot, but for the next guy, a pivot might be an excuse not to talk to anyone new.

I think your confidence should come from yourself, not from the approval of others. Its far too easy for others to shatter your confidence if you draw it from them whereas if you draw it from yourself, nothing they say can bring it down. Sure you might have felt ontop of the world and able to achieve anything when you had that social approval, but how long does that confidence last? If you need to continue gaining approval to gain confidence, then what happens in situations where there is no one to gain approval from?

I dont doubt the moral boost your peers can give you, I've seen first hand how people can push themselves harder than ever with their mates encouragement, but its more important that you build your confidence from within yourself, something that no one can take away. Use the moral boost from social approval to push your limits to increase your confidence within yourself, but dont rely on it to get you where you need to go.