(I moved this from another section as I think it's more appropriate in this one)

Hey guys,

To start with, I consider myself an AFC, just started working on my game (I really couldn't before as I weighted over 300 pounds)

Anyways, long story...

I met this girl, we've had fun times, 3rd date, I meet her parents (I know... wtf?). w/e that night, I close the deal, end up having sex, little did I know, I was doing all the right things (according to what I read on this board). She asked for a relationship to which I said yeah (1st mistake but w/e).

So I kinda try to get with her a few times afterwards, like calling her, she was always busy. We end up going for drinks on my birthday where she says I try too hard... to which I started chickening out (I know... typical AFC).

She was getting surgery the week after and said she "couldn't see me" for two weeks (which I kinda listened too and didn't call/check on her as I was afraid... I know, I know). So I get a lovely text message saying "My surgery went well, thanks for asking" (I didn't ask... w/e). From there, a week later, I get the LJBF.

A week later she writes on MSN saying like she probably didn't explain this right, that she thought I was hot and all, that she had someone else in mind (obviously her ex) and really wanted to be friends, to which I said, sure, why not... Later that day, she had viruses with her computer and wanted me to help (I'm an IT sys admin). I said I would but didn't couldn't do it at that moment as I was busy.

Next saturday, I get a text at like midnight from her saying she's having drinks at a local pub and if I wanted to join, I went. Cocky and funny attitude, seemed to worked. She mentionned she went to a speed dating evening with her colleague (she was at the pub too) so I kept making fun of that, I think it paid off. We end the night with slight kino, kiss on the cheek goodnight.

I get home not thinking too much I go to bed directly... and she calls, I keep the cocky and funny attitude over the phone, again seems to work quite well... but at some point, I mention I make a lot of money (she already knew that as she's the one who sold me my car so I had to give her my salary) to which she said something along the lines "Who cares about your money, you can't even check up on a girl when she's got surgery"... and I broke down... I said I was sorry, that I was scared as shit and that I really liked her, that I wish she'd give me a second chance that I'd prove I was worth it (again... way too AFC...). She said she take the night to think about it.

Next morning, a lovely text saying LJBF and take our time, see where it leads us. Later that day, she mentions her computer again and I say yeah I'll help, I'm available monday and tuesday, just call when you get off of work (obviously, no call).

Wednesday morning, I initiate convo over MSN and she says she's not sleeping well (I kinda used this later on). I asked that today was a good time for me to check her computer so we setup for that after work. I also say I'll bring a bottle of wine to "help her sleep better" (kinda proud of that one).

She finished work at like 9pm... I get a call at like 5 to 9 and she says she's still with a customer that won't understand anything she says, I kinda joke around it a little, she seems responsive to it. Anyways, I get to her place at like 10pm, check her computer, figures there's no virus on it and it's working fine... Cocky and funny attitude, I give her a hard time because of it. She seems "pissed" about that in a "not so pissed" way, I think I scored on that one too.

Anyways, we end up checking pictures on Facebook, she keeps showing me her exs (god that pisses me off, but I'm not telling her). A few kino later, I kiss her. She says "weren't we supposed to take it slow" and I answered, I'm sorry, that's just how I feel. We end up having "sex"... I was not prepared for that, had no protection and she had to stop taking her contraceptive pills because of her post surgery medication. She had condoms at her place so we tried doing with but I blew up too fast (I know TMI). I still spend the night at her house and she says she's really glad I stayed and was all cuddly. (I leave her place thinking I nailed it again and I'm superman)

Anyways, next day (or same day w/e) she sends me a message thanking me and saying she had a good time last evening. We then turn to small talk about random stuff.

Friday, I sent her a few funny lines via text, she seemed to pick up, found it pretty funny. A few hours later, I send another text asking if she'd come over for drinks or if she wanted to go to a local pub. No reply.

Next day (saturday afternoon), I call, she shopping with her mom, I make fun of her a little about something she mentionned in the past, pretty sure she found it funny. I say since it's such a nice day outside we should go for ice cream, she said she'd call back since she's shopping with her mom.

So we're Tuesday, no call, no text, no msn, no facebook...

I know I'm supposed to let her do some chasing and look like I'm busy, but at the same time, I don't want her to think I moved on and she gets serious with some other guy and that I'm just not confident enough to call her back.

So I hope some of you can enlighten me on what I should do next if I want this to work...

-Should I call/text back? I already have a few plans in my head on how to meet her again
-If so, how soon? I was think about send a text on friday asking how her week went
-If not, how to I react if she's "mad" I never called back/didn't care to ask how she's doing?

- Should I pretend I went out with some other girl to seem like I'm a "busy" guy or would that make me a jerk? I already thought of plans for that too.

Any other tips/pointer on how I could make this relationship work or some ideas of things I did wrong/right would also be awesome.

Looking forward to your input.

I'd call her once more. If she doesn't respond then I'd leave it at that.

Friday would be cool, but I'd go with something a little less submissive for an opener, like, "What's new?" Why should her week be any more important than yours?

Did you not call her on Saturday? She has nothing to be mad about, and if she does get mad for whatever reason, who gives a shit? It's good to piss girls off like that every now and then because it shows that you're a dynamic, independent guy who won't bow to her every whim.

In any case, this girl seems volatile and manipulative. The fact that she showed you pictures of her ex's unprovoked is warning sign that there is mental baggage afoot.

Yeah friday sounded good to me.

Except not sure about calling vs texting. Since she gets off of work at 9pm, I thought about texting her earlier (like 7pm).

I'm not sure about "What's new?" cause I have to translate that to french and it doesn't sound as cool in french, might go with something like "How are you?" (how does that sound?)

I thought about something along these lines:

(background info... she gave me a silly nickname that looks like my actual name to which I said I'd also find one for hers)

Me: Ok... so I give up! (That line is so she thinks I kinda just give up on her)
(Before she can reply)
Me: I can't find any cute nicknames for {her name}, guess I'll have to call you miss. (That way she knows I'm not giving up on her)
(again before she can reply)
Me: So miss... how are you doing? (Trying a funny way of knowing how she's doing)

I'm also thinking about just getting rid of the giving up part as it doesn't sound confident but it would kinda break the whole concept.

What do you guys think?

i have a very similar problem. i had a very intimate, passionate loving making evening and get no call no text the next couple days. WTH! dont quote me on this but sounds to me that shes not too entirely interested on pursuing a relationship. Very rude on how she shows you her exs, its either she wants to make you jealous or shes just plain lack of common sense. IT IS VERY FRUSTRATING! i know. im on the same boat as you. tell me how it all turns out. love to hear more about it.

Thing is when I'm with her and start the C&F routine, I can easily escalate to kino. Once I hit Kino, I can FClose her for sure, she's all over me... when I'm not is what seems to be the issue, complete opposite of how it's supposed to be... the less I see her, the lower her attraction level gets...

Well here's my deal... I figured I'd write her that thing I said before if she replies I'll have to work from there... I'm hoping she does reply so I can break out my plan for the week-end (obviously gonna try some stuff I found out here, like letting her know I'm thinking about going furniture shopping and won't mention inviting her or something like that).

If she doesn't reply, then fuck it, moving along, not gonna waste more time on her... if she does call some other time, I'll just get a lay and move along.

I've already started to work on some basic techniques, tried the eye-lock, not much success right now, I mean the eye lock works great, but I can't seem to follow with anything interesting, gotta work on openers.

But for sure, I'll let you know how it rolls out and what kind of experience I get (so you don't make the same mistakes or can do it if it worked )

If you want a relationship, you dont want to be pulling off routines and playing games, they wont get you anywhere. You have to create a strong foundation and then build on that. Do you know exactly what you want in a relationship? If so compare it to what she has to offer and how she acts? From what you've said, she either doesnt know what she wants (cant make up her mind), or she knows exactly what she wants and is using you to get it when she needs it. If its the first case, then help her make up her mind that she'd enjoy a relationship with you. Be genuine, demonstrate what you have to offer in a subtle enough way that she catches on, but you dont sound arrogant (mentioning you make alot of money).

when she says you try to hard, do you think you were? be afraid to communicate and not saying something leads to trouble. is it worth being in the relationship if you arent comfortable with the level of communication that she's comfortable with? how often to call/text is not something you can simply ask the girl, you have to determine it by how close you 2 are. if she enjoys your company alot then spend more time with her. the "see them less, build attraction" thing will work to a point however the time frame is dependent on the girl, like how different sized elastic bands can be stretched to different lengths before they snap.

Good advice there, thanks. So you suggest I be blunt and not try to many push-pull, neg and stuff like that? I mean being C&F is just natural to me so that I won't change (plus she seems to "hate" it). I'll just be carefull not to sound arrogant (the money thing wasn't even trying to be arrogant, it just came out randomly in the convo).

Ok, so just tried the text message thingy... waiting on reply

So I got a reply about 2 hours later

Her: Lol I worked 9 to 9, didn't get lunch, didn't get dinner, I'm tired and hungry, shitty day.

Me: Heh if it makes you feel any better, my day was awesome. You hungry, lets get something to eat?

Her: Seriously, I would love to though I'd fall asleep as I get home. Maybe tomorrow (shit test here, no sure)

Me: It's not good to go to bed with an empty stomach either way, we should get a huge breakfast tomorrow, I'll pick you up at 6am (knowing she'll be dead tired at that time)

Her: I'll kill you if you wake me up. (I'm seriously considering showing up there at 6am, what do y'all think?)

Her: Lol serious waking up at 8, I'm mad all day(can't find the exact translation), I always wake up at 10.

Me; (I was so fucking late trying to think of something clever) Haha you'll be too tired to achieve that I've got everything planed! Actually, I'll pick you up after my jog, around 10:30am, if you're not up at that time there's a problem

I think I got this one right too, what do you guys think?

Anyways, I do plan showing up at her door tomorrow, like around 10:30ish (maybe a little late and I'll say I jogged a little more than expected). I'll obviously hit the gym earlier to be mad buffed when sees me (haha me being insecure, though I did have a huge burger, fries and 3 pints tonight).

thingy is a very gay word. never say thingy.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Noted thanks for the tip

llol no prob

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!