i have a tendencie to overthink stuff...its quite possible

The problem you're facing is, as the 40-yr-old virgin puts it "You're putting the pussy on a pedestal." You sound like you've grouped every living woman into one category, where they all like one thing, or don't like another. The reality is that every girl is different. What works for one might not or won't necessarily work for another. Maybe your handicapped friend just found a girl who wanted to feel needed. Maybe theres a girl who likes the unkempt look, and the guy who doesn't care about his appearance got her with that and his general "don't give a fuck" attitude. You've got to gauge each situation, then respond appropriately.

On the other side, the more you think about it the harder it becomes. When you don't think about it is where you succeed. It has to become a natural thing, that's what I think we're all going for (or at least I am). If you're entering a set thinking about everything you've read and going over techniques and responses then you're not paying attention to whats going on and that'll show. But it is necessary to do that when you're first starting out. So it's a catch-22, you're right. And of course, as you said, there's always naturals.

The best advice I can give you: practice, practice, practice. Keep opening sets until you've got it!

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-Breeze

the answer is congruency.

whoever this guy is who reads, and reads, and practices, and practices, and learns, and learns, and fails, and fails...

he is not selling it believably. he is not ... "congruent".

that is the only reason why.

there is no other reason why some dude who dresses worse, walks worse, talks worse, acts worse, and is totally clueless will pick up more chicks than the self-professed PUA described in your anecdote.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!