This is my first real post so hopefully it has some merit.

I've always found myself, in the mitst of talking to people, pondering how to properly look into someone's eyes when speaking to them. Before I started focusing on this, I think I just typically looked in the area between their eyes and made sure not to ever stare.

Having explored this a little more lately, now I find that maybe I should actually be looking into one specific eye, or the other... or both in some alternating fashion.

I've noticed when watching television or a movie, it's very common for an actor to look at one eye, then the other, then back, etc. etc. This looks rather erratic to me but maybe that's the way it should be? I'm clueless.

Have you ever consciously thought about it and what's your method for making sure the person you're speaking to is getting your full attention... without the dreaded STARE?

I used to have a hard time staring at people's eyes.... until I started thinking about it....then I studied about it lol. Stare at the right eye and project "passionate images" your pupils will expand giving you more sex appeal. (make sure your body language is open)

That's if you want to make your job harder than it already is. I could add "blink frequently" to that, but let's digress.

Pick an eye, whether left or right, and stare into it while speaking. When you're not looking into that eye, openly study her face. She'll know you're "sizing her up". Screening her. And that puts her on the spot. Thus taking much of the pressure from yourself.

Eye contact is tricky business. Many people will tell you many different things, but we know this much: the person who looks away first is usually the submissive. Dominant does the stare-down until that happens.

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The Platinum Rule of Pick-Up: "Progress tension instead of lessening it with social behavior."

Here are a few guideposts, not all from PUA. Most people will look somewhere in the triangle between the eyes and the mouth. If you look into the triangle between the eyes and the forehead, people perceive you as staring and become uncomfortable--also comes off aggressive.

In PU, don't switch between eyes, that comes off as nervous. Pick the eye closer to you and focus on it. If you're standing full frontal, flip a coin and pick a side.

When I talk to a woman I'm interested in, I look into her left eye. This accesses the area of the brain involved in nonverbal subcommunication and especially emotion, which is what I want to stimulate in her.

When I want to engage someone in a debate using reason and analysis, I will look into their right eye, as this accesses the area of the brain that deals with logic.

When you're talking to someone you just met, it's normal to look away every so often, so that you're not staring directly into one eye the whole time. In western cultures, it's generally appropriate to look away more whilst you are talking (I'll do it when searching for the right word, or trying to remember a fact or situation), and look at them more whilst they are talking, to show you are listening. That said, in other cultures it is the inverse, and it is polite to look away when another is talking.

Once you get to know someone, and especially if they are a woman you are romantically interested in, it's not only OK but definitely recommended, to hold more consistent eye contact with your chosen eye (I choose left), whilst simultaneously slowing down your speech and dropping the tone of your voice. If you couple this by shifting your focus to her lips every so often, you are communicating sexual intent.

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Thanks for all the responses. I've asked this before (on other sites) and nobody seemed to give any thought behind how they did it themselves. I do like the idea of picking one and keeping contact with that one. Obviously this become much more important the closer you get which is where I always break down and either look away or get a tad flustered.

Again, thx for the feedback.