Yea, it's rarely the length of the hair that attracts women, it's the overall look of the guy. Best to get some impartial opinions from close female friends about which length and style of hair suits you.
The unfortunate fact is most guys look like dorks with long hair, especially if it's unkept, lank or greasy. Just look at 99.9% of the members of hair metal bands out there to see what I mean. Very few men look really good with long hair (examples Brad Pitt, Daniel Day Lewis). And even most guys who look decent with long hair would look even more attractive with short hair. Again, check with some female friends on opinions to see where you fall in.
I used to have below-shoulder-length hair in my early twenties and got compliments because it was naturally jet black and looked good with my tanned skin (I'm originally from the Mediterranean). Now that I'm in my thirties, my hair's slowly taken on that salt-and-pepper look and a shorter hairstyle gives me a more sophisticated look (I'm told). I even shaved it once (not with a razor, but clippers at number 0) and girls went nuts, they would come up to me and rub their hands all over my head, make cooing noises and tell me stroking the back of my neck felt like stroking a puppy. Instant kino, and instantiated by the girls themselves. Ding, ding, ding, jackpot!
