Hey guys

Newbie here.

I really need a kick up the backside! I'm not here to tell you that I'm an unlucky guy or that it's not my fault I'm not getting girls, it is! Should I be posting this thread? No, I should be out doing the newbie mission.

But anyway,

I'm still a virgin and I came on this forum about 6 months ago not only to pick up girls but to try and build my self esteem (I guess quite a few guys join for the same reasons)

It was only the last Saturday when I went out that I actually had some confidence and started holding girls hands and trying some of the stuff in and around the forums, I felt good and approached quite a lot of people (I wasn't drunk when holding hands/flirting although I did gradually get drunk as the night went on)

There's these two girls that I hang with on nights out, we flirt and have a good time and I can make them laugh but

1. One of them has a boyfriend
2. One is know kind of seeing some guy

But I've known them for a bit now and can't get them out of my fucking head, we talk together all the time on instant chats and stuff.

I'm an attractive guy but my self esteem is fucking terrible sometimes, especially with girls.

I know all the things I'm doing are needy and unhealthy and yet I can't motivate myself to do something different, I like clinging onto the fact of talking to these girls yet I know I'm just pushing myself further away.

I went out the other day and walked into town and saw a few women on the way and bottled saying "Hello" and smiling, I looked at one and she looked at me like a piece of shit so I carried on walking.

I've read so much and watched the blueprint etc and I know I need to go out and start doing something, I keep thinking about improving over and over yet I fear putting my personality on the line.

I daren't even tell some people I'm a virgin i'm that insecure about it.

Advice (Be as blunt as you need to be) would be appreciated.

Thanks

Sounds like you've completely friend-zoned yourself with these two girls.

If you want to have a chance with either of them, you have to demonstrate value outside of your interactions with them. You can't continue to put across the impression that you will always have time for them and that you can just hang out or chat whenever; this is not alpha. A guy who is ostensibly popular with girls doesn't have a lot of time to 'instant chat' with the same girls any time, he's busy talking to other friends or doing other cool shit they'd like to be a part of -- having an attractive lifestyle is key, and you can fake it until you make it. The more you are seen talking to other girls, using material and enjoying the company of women, the more you are seen to be pre-selected and the more girls will clamour for your attention. It's all about social leverage.

Secondly, what I would suggest (rather than seeking first to nail the girls you've been chilling with), take them out and use them for social leverage. It's well known that if you roll up at a club with two good-looking girls on your arm, it drastically improves your chances of getting with other girls, because it communicates social status and higher value immediately. Most other people will have no idea whether you're romantically involved with these girls, they'll just see you with them and make certain (positive) assumptions about you off the bat. REMEMBER: attracting girls has a domino effect, meaning once some girls clearly like you (or even just appear to like you), others will follow suit and compete for your attention. Because young girls in particular are highly preoccupied by what others think, they're constantly using other people's opinions on a person to decide their own, or watching other people's actions before they act. This is why social leverage is so effective.

APART FROM ALL THAT:

GO FOR IT DUDE! QUIT MESSING AROUND AND START PUTTING SOME OF THAT MATERIAL INTO PRACTISE!

Best of luck to you, I hope this helps!

_________________
Negativity is the asylum of the weak.