advice on text messages



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 Post subject: advice on text messages
PostPosted: Mon Oct 08, 2007 5:10 pm 
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Okay, so there are plenty of people who say texting is bad, and plenty who say it is good. Either way, my question (right now) is not whether to text or not. It is what to do in a situation like this:

On a friday I am out working and I meet a girl, I have a half ass conversation (trying to get work done) and I guess I interested her, I got her number.

I call her on Monday to find out when we will be going out - no pickup.

She texts me that evening with small talk....

On wednesday, she says she is going to be around Friday. I tell her to call me that evening (wednesday) - no call.

She texts me on thursday with small talk.....says she will call me Friday.

Friday - no call

Saturday afternoon I call her - no pickup.

Saturday evening she texts with small talk....I tell her to call me Sunday - guess what? No call.

Now I have not made any indication I am going to allow her to bat me around and play "chase me, your my bitch." However, I am getting a little impatient. I have been in similar situations where I just decide to call every couple of days; of course, that destroys me (and my chances). This time I want to work the situation correctly. Do I call her? Do I respond to her text messages (which, btw, seem to be planned out perfectly to get me to try and ask her to do something or give her a call), Do I ignore her completely? Do I tell her she missed her chance? Do I text her or leave her a message saying that I am going out with some other women tonite and I hope she is bored?

any help would be appreciated! And my overall opinion on texting: keep it to a bare minimum. Use it for strategy only; regular conversation can get out of skew VERY quickly with texts. People can't see emotion through letters.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 08, 2007 7:39 pm 
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like for instance right now. I got a text from her about four hours ago asking me what i am doing. I reply saying I am...whatever.

She doesn't text me back.

Now, four hours later, I get texted again asking me what I am doing. I tell her I am out doing whatever and I will be done soon. No reply. I know if I called she would not answer, so I won't even try that for now.

Again, can anyone relate?

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 9:53 am 
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Well I'm kinda new at this so it may not be the best advise(someone correct me if I'm wrong) but I would reply to a text like what are you doing by telling her " for someone who doesn't answer my phone calls and doesn't call me, you're kinda nosey about what I'm up to" she may respond with a comment like "well I was just asking(or something along those lines)" so then you tell her "if you were here with me then you would know and be having as much fun as I am" hopefully that helps you some.


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 Post subject: txt
PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 11:07 am 
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text her but what ever you do dont ask her to call. resist the damn urge to. its kinda like a tease 4 her and u. if u suddenly do the opposite of what she expects it acts like a neg and itll piss her off but interest her more.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 4:11 pm 
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I think you should move her to text. She hasn't earned phone time with you IMO.

If she texts again, text this:

"So...I suppose you want to get together..."


If she responds positively, then set up something... on your terms.

You can choose to add intermediate small talk in between with some other
texts if you don't want it to come in off-key. But you just need to cut the
crap. Don't get defensive. Even if you are kidding, it might not convey well
via text.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 4:19 pm 
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simple, 2 time rule...

you ring her twice with no response, she gets relegated to txts and u don't ring again

txt her without reply twice, don't txt her again

if you really like her extend the rule to facebook/myspace/msn but don't get played for a mug. it would seem she's got comfortable with the attention you're giving her

but i definitely agree that your next txt to her should be cockyfunny

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 4:20 pm 
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Quote:
Well I'm kinda new at this so it may not be the best advise(someone correct me if I'm wrong) but I would reply to a text like what are you doing by telling her " for someone who doesn't answer my phone calls and doesn't call me, you're kinda nosey about what I'm up to" she may respond with a comment like "well I was just asking(or something along those lines)" so then you tell her "if you were here with me then you would know and be having as much fun as I am" hopefully that helps you some.


just brilliant. it fits into my established personality perfectly...I could definitely get away with something like that.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 4:23 pm 
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Quote:
simple, 2 time rule...

you ring her twice with no response, she gets relegated to txts and u don't ring again

txt her without reply twice, don't txt her again

if you really like her extend the rule to facebook/myspace/msn but don't get played for a mug. it would seem she's got comfortable with the attention you're giving her

but i definitely agree that your next txt to her should be cockyfunny
well moving her back down in status is all fine and dandy...it is what I ended up doing. last time she texted me was the one marked above. I have not heard back from her since. I am not going to initiate a text either...I am going to wait it out. If I don't hear from her, that's fine; I can invest time elsewhere.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 4:24 pm 
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The problem started with when you were working you probably created interest but not enough.

You firstly shouldn't have called her more than twice. .If she doesnt call you and then you call her back that just makes it seem that you are chasing her and you need to make her think you are the prize.

Seems that she doesn't like talking on the phone but still has some interest in you. When she texts you and asks how are you doing. Say something interesting. Not Nm just chillen with freinds and hw. Say I just got back from doing blah blah blah is was great.

And you need to neg her over texts. If she keeps asking you about how you are doing... ask if shes right a biography on you or why all her texts ask that.
And you need to also throw in a neg how shes to unconfrontational to talk on the phone.

Hope this helps.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 8:09 pm 
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Quote:
for someone who doesn't answer my phone calls
and doesn't call me, you're kinda nosey about what I'm up to"
I think that txt sounds like you care too much about whether she calls
or answers. If you're going to send anything like that, I'd make it way
shorter. Maybe something like:

"Wow, aren't you the nosy one. :)"

Remember. You are a busy guy. You don't have time for her shenanigans.

Also, the purpose of the phone is to set up the meet/date/get together.
It shouldn't be taking this long to meet up with her.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 9:47 pm 
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i had a similar situation with a girl. she would never call nor answer phone calls... only txts. so i was driving one day, and i hate driving and texting, so I straight up told her to call me. she called me like 5 seconds after.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 9:55 pm 
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It seems that each time she is texting you she is really trying to see the following:
1) are you still interested in her
2) what you do on your spare time
3) how many times she can string you along.. like a little game

Almost like she is trying to size you up for her "friend's list".

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 11:17 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
for someone who doesn't answer my phone calls
and doesn't call me, you're kinda nosey about what I'm up to"
I think that txt sounds like you care too much about whether she calls
or answers. If you're going to send anything like that, I'd make it way
shorter. Maybe something like:

"Wow, aren't you the nosy one. :)"

Remember. You are a busy guy. You don't have time for her shenanigans.

Also, the purpose of the phone is to set up the meet/date/get together.
It shouldn't be taking this long to meet up with her.
True, true....however I have not tried to officially "meet up." You say it should not take this long, then what route do I take? If she does not call, and I do not call; and now I do not text- I have no choice but to wait.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 11:17 pm 
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Quote:
i had a similar situation with a girl. she would never call nor answer phone calls... only txts. so i was driving one day, and i hate driving and texting, so I straight up told her to call me. she called me like 5 seconds after.

except I have already said I told her to call me, several times actually. no calls.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 11:20 pm 
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Quote:
It seems that each time she is texting you she is really trying to see the following:
1) are you still interested in her
2) what you do on your spare time
3) how many times she can string you along.. like a little game

Almost like she is trying to size you up for her "friend's list".


1.) I stopped texting her, and called her twice (with no luck); I have not made contact in over 4 days.
2.) I secretly have no life; she thinks I am an avid watcher of films....I have been slowly changing that when she DOES text
3.) I agree, she is a young woman that is testing her powers. I shut her down from them. I have a feeling since they were not successful, she is moving on. I want to reverse that- I want to use my powers

haha, with the friends list thing. that is weird because she did just recently do the all 'blah blah blah your my myspace buddy." ugh

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