Hi Gents!

Recently divorced from a 10 year marriage so I'm rather green to the dating scene again. I really want to approached women from another angle compared to the past...so thats why I'm here.

Recently dated a girl for about 1 month. I realize i did everything wrong: told her i liked her, told her shes beautiful and bought for her flowers at work, ect.

Last week she called off our relationship and wanted to "be friends" because of a falsely perceived gambling issue and some slightly passive aggressive remarks I made about her FB page (I know, another mistake).

3 days pass and she sends me a text saying how sweet I was beyond everything else. I respond Im sorry things didnt work out and I wont apologize for something Im not. Today a 2nd text wishing me a happy birthday.

Now I know she's still interested but wanted some opinions on handling this girl at this point? I havent responded to the 2nd text yet so the ball's safely on my side of the court at this point.

BTW....did I mention this girl is smoking hot I want her in my bed in the worst way!!!

Great site !!!

hey man. welcome.

sorry to hear about the divorce. shit happens. sounds like you're back on track though, good job.

I would not text her back any more. Any text to her is "chit chat" and considered pure attention / validation. You are giving her attention and in return you aren't getting shit. She is testing to see if you are willing to suck her attention tit, and you can't put up with that anymore.

You still have a chance to redeem yourself. You got LJBF'd, but you need to freeze her out. This requires at least 2-3 weeks of 0 contact. If you see her, ignore her. DO NOT answer texts/calls.

After those few weeks you can text/call her again - you have two options:

1. play the friends thing off as a *hilarious* joke - "Hey "friend!!" (LOL) how've you been?! - then when you see her, go to give her a hug, then immediately once you touch her back off and say something along the lines of "oh shit i forgot we're just friends."

2. completely ignore the fact that she assigned it a friendship (she is worthless to you as a friend, you want to fuck her..) and just go back as usual in 3 weeks except GAME her instead of being a total AFC. call her and get her schedule, then make some plans and get her back to your place. keep it casual, dont get serious at all. tell her you've been SUPER busy.

Read up on LJBF recovery stuff, it might just work for you if you can control waiting the ~20 days or so to freeze her out. Go get 10-20 more #s in the meantime.

rocket

Sounds right to me. Also goes against everything Ive done in the past as well.

I'll call her in a month and act like nothing happened and see her reaction. I haven't been LJBF since I was in College so if this doesn't pan out at least she done me a favor for the rest of my life.

BTW...Im 42 and shes 36 so this shit goes on even as people approach "middle-ish " age guys! This last week as been an eye-opener.

so incredibly true.

as a matter of fact, most women have a ten year midlife crisis spanning the ages of 35 to 45, during which they act more immature, shallow, and manipulative than teenage girls first discovering their pussies.

it's one last hoorah before their valuable wombs dry up.

What makes you so sure she is still interested in you when you went all emotional on her in the first month you where with her? There are either one of two things going on here. One she actually treating you as a friend as you fit into the "Mr. Nice Guy" like a square. And most probably felt sorry for you and feels like it is her "duty" (bad choice of word) to be nice to you and be friends with you. The other she is keeping you on the slide line as she may have better options right now and/or seeing what may pop up in a few years. Remember her clock is ticking and unless she has a kid already she will want one.

I think part of you think she is still interested in you or wants to as more than likely you have not had a relationship since your divorce. Saying that you basically have two options here. Next her and keep her as a friend to use to get other girls (if she is truly hot this will work well). The other is going stealth, by that I mean you be her friend but not a friend friend if that makes sense and over time be less of the Mr. Nice Guy that you where when you first was with her.

Believe youre absolutely correct....this is a women were talking about. Im pretty much writing this one off. I'll wait a couple weeks. If the texts or calls continue I'll just try the direct approached and tell her not to contact me unless she's serious about going out again. I really dont want her around unless she's willing to fuck me at this point.

Lesson learned

at least you dont have oneitis for her. freezing out sounds good, but also get several other women. sounds like you're not too hung up about it.

cheers