| I met a girl (let’s call her J) in 2008 while on vacation and she got out of a bad 3 year relationship. We got into each other but it died down because I was long distant. So she met another guy and was into him for about 5 months, and then I moved to the state she was in (no not for her). I tried to win her over, but failed. He won.
So I cut off all contact from August 2009 til August 2010. During that time, I was with another girl and coincidentally, both me and J broke up with the person we were with. 3 months later in November, my cousin (J’s close friend) pushed us to talk to eachother again and we did. Long story short...she's been with 2 guys. Both did her wrong as hell. At first we both didn't want anything, but things changed and we both got a thing for each other (she told me). After she admitted that she started catching feelings for me, things picked up and we were pretty much all over each other for about a month.
But then after every time we get a little physical (we haven't gone all the way though), she says "I'm scared." So we got into a little argument last time and she said "There's something you need to understand. I was with the first guy for 3 years and things were good at first, then everything went to hell with him. Then I took a big risk and gave the next guy a chance, and the same exact thing happened. I'm scared to let anybody in after that. I need to get all the bad thoughts out of my head before I give anyone else a chance. I just can't trust anyone. I'm actually taking a risk even getting this far with you cause I promised myself that I'd be single for a while after the last guy."
The day after that argument, I was just in a bad mood when I was with her because of the argument. But before she stepped out of my car, I went for the kiss and she did it. She paused for 5 seconds and came back for more. She said "I'm already confused and look what we're doing." This was a big deal to her...she mentioned it about 3 or 4 times for a few days after that. But then during the week, I didn't hear from her for 3 days straight. I feel like she backed off because of the kiss. I didn't want to seem desperate so I didn't call or text her. She ended up calling me and seemed nervous, like she wasn't sure if I wanted to talk to her. But that's where I am now. We've hung out once and talked a little after that but that's it.
So now that's where I am...It went from friends, to being into eachother, to being physical, to absolutely nothing (just keeping in touch) right after a kiss.
Right now I'm trying to get her to at least act like how she did a month ago when she was all over me and touchy...my ultimate goal is to actually be in a relationship with her and I don't know how to get her to get over being scared and actually giving me a chance. I need some advice on how to get her to move forward.
What's the best thing to do....just back off a little bit and don't try pushing anything on her? I don't wanna pass this one up
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