I am a modest person, so this is a subject that is hard for me to address. Objectively speaking, I believe I’m attractive. I have been told that I resemble Christian Slater, that I have eyes like Johnny Depp (I have gotten a lot of compliments on my eyes), and I have been given suggestive nicknames such as "pretty boy" and "doll face." I’m a clean person, I’m well groomed, I keep in shape, and I dress fashionably. With all of that in mind, onto my inquiry.

I have read many stories where men claim women they don’t know make eye contact with them and smile or sit and stand next to them when it’s not necessary. This seldom ever happens to me and I don’t understand why. I present myself in a friendly and confident manner. I smile and try to make eye contact with women everywhere I go, but they always look down at the floor or off to the side.

At college, girls usually refuse to sit next to me in class. In fact, it almost seems like they try to distance themselves from me. In one class, an attractive girl chose to sit behind me. Honestly, I was surprised, because I’m not used to it. At one point, another girl in the class stole her seat, however the next time we had class, she took it back. I don’t know if that means anything, but I feel I should try and talk to her.

I would also like to mention my experience in the computer lab. I will sit down at a terminal with numerous computers available on opposite sides of me, but when girls come in, they never sit next to me. They will sit next to guys, but they are often scruffy looking characters (ie: wear gym shorts with a hoodie and look as though they haven't shaved in weeks). I don't get it. Perhaps it's my imagination, but it doesn't seem like it.

The Leading Man

Yes, women also get nervous around handome guys. Why wouldn't they ? Isn't a woman not a human being too ? But honestly, you are focussing on the wrong thing here. Stop looking for ioi's like that constantly because if you don't get the ioi's it will make you feel miserable and will make you lose all your confidence. What you need is to believe that you are handsome and that you are THE MAN. You don't need ioi's to make you feel THE MAN because you know you are THE MAN.

I am warning you about this. If you keep searching for ioi's and you don't get them, you will end up as a loser without any confidence. It will destroy you. The only way to know if a girl likes you for real is to approach her and start talking to her. So go talk instead of searching for ioi's. Searching for ioi's is for cowards. You are THE MAN, you don't need ioi's !!! START APPROACHING WOMEN !!! If you are too scared, find a wing. If you are still scared, ask the wing to push towards women you like. You will hate it in the beginning but after some weeks of practicing you will be happy you did this.

Ya i think the girl sitting behind you is an IOI... i dont see why it wouldn't be, she obviously likes that seat for a reason. try stealing her seat and see what she does, i know girls have done this to me before as I felt I was in the same boat as you, so steal their roll... take her seat, or wait a little longer to go into class and sit next to her. I love to play this roll and then say "hey you know..... I'm kinda mad at you" (the response should be disbelief and shock and WHY?!) "well we've been in this class for x weeks, and you still haven't said hi to me.... so.... now I'm mad at you ". give the sly smile after, she'll hit you... game on!!!!! once your talking and stuff tell her now you guys are class room buddies but she HAS to follow one criteria... "No cheating off me, I already can tell i'm smarter than you (unless she's dumb dont say that) so thats my only rule. high five!"

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**~~Feed Her To The Sharks~~**

You're thinking like a man. Woman hot = meter go up. Woman ugly = meter go down. A typical chick's got a finely tuned radar for lots of things. Sure, outer appearance has a lot to do with it but so do PLENTY of other things. For one, they'll detect a nervous little screw ball who's counting the number of times who girls have sat in one place or another and is living inside his little fantasy land. - This is weird. Hey, how about just saying hello once in a while and making a goofy joke. Chat a little.

Also . . . it's always tougher to approach Mr. Clean as women are always self conscious of this crap. This is the reason why they'll take hours to get ready for 'social events'. If they're scruffy and you're scruffy . . . no big deal. This is the same reason why a typical consultant will try to figure out the other company's 'dress code' prior to setting off. You don't want to over dress, nor do you want to under dress; you want to connect.

kasabi exactly what i was thinking. Why would you count how many times a girl has sat behind you!? Speak to her and see if she's friendly to you, if not move on. Not a biggie.

I agree with all of you. Like many guys on here, I have a problem where I struggle to get out of my head. I overanalyze everything. It's one really bad habit I need to kick.

Thanks for all of the feedback!

The Leading Man

Also, because a woman can be interested in you, but not give any ioi at all. Or, you missed the one she did give when you weren't looking, and she doesn't give any more.