in addition to other situations im dealing with and working on right now (please feel free to check them out and give advice.... i REALLY need it!) i have another situation id like some help on. so, im at one of my local bars i go to rather frequently. i walk in and this bartender i have known a couple months looks all happy to see me, an comes and gives me a huge hug. this, is normal for her. we exchange pleasantries, and she grabs me my beer (didnt even have to order lol) over the course of the evening, we talk, shoot the shit etc all night. she got screwed outta what should have been not one, but two sets of really big tips! and was pissed off! so, i made sure to have her back! kept shooting one liners to make her feel better, cracked a couple jokes etc. while walking back and forth every now and again, she would rub my back, grab my arm etc. now, those are all IOI's, but are they normal IOI's coz shes a bartender? or is it more?

further, i made a really crass joke, in which i implied she should sit on my face (it works better in person then online... you kinda have to be there) anyways, she laughed and said "thats so crude...... and i LOVE IT!!! further, at one point in the night, she came over, grabbed my arm, and kissed me on the cheek. when i asked her what that was for, she said "just for being you"

so, im seeing alot of IOI's and now, a couple new ones! im wondering, is she just getting more comfortable with me? or is she interested.



thoughts??? anyone???


*again, please check my posts for the other situations im dealing with, i could seriously use some help there)

I'm no expert but she definitely sounds interested, take her out man!

ahh now normally i would agree with you. however, shes a bartender, shes trained in the ancient art of making men like her. means better tips!

so, im not sure if thats the case here or not.

Still, there's nothing to lose really. If she is 'just' being friendly then who cares, I don't think the barmaid rule works all the time. I've been with a few...albeit they weren't that hot!

Despite her being a hired gun, what you are saying says to me you have DHV'ed in one way or another *over time* as well as this particular night. The tipping point for me is her response to a quite crass joke.

Have you watched how she acts with other guy patrons? How does it compare to you? Is she an attention whore bartender who hugs everyone and touches them all? I know those well.

This reminds me of a friend of mine who got a girl bartender in a similar way - knew her from there for a few months and finally asked her out.

all the regulars get hugs and the odd touch, but i think i am noticing something different when she looks at me. however, i may be wrong. when we talk, she looks me in the eyes, with this look.... i cant explain it. and like i said, when kissed me on the cheek, yeah thats not really anything special. but two things stand out in my mind on that. 1) she stopped what she was doing, and walked to the other end of the bar to do it, and 2) i think, for a split second she wanted to kiss me on the lips. but, i dunno.



so, i guess, the question now is: whats the next step?

It sounds to me like you are getting a bit more attention than 'regular' attention. It is impossible for me to know whether she's just working you real good, or whatever. So it's kind of a pull the trigger situation. Meaning, I'd go back in at a not too loud/crowded time, and ask her out. I know in my case, I'd probably ask her point blank, 'so when are we hanging out?' It seems you have rapport enough to do that w/her

okay, ill make the move.


ill let everyone know how it goes down