A girl is gonna come to my place to watch a movie, it's our 3. date. On the second date, there were pretty intensive kissing and I get the feeling she's into me.

I would like her to stay overnight but I don't think she's ready yet. I think one of the problems is that the girl might think staying overnight means there has to be sex, so she refuses to stay. The best way would of course make her want to stay but my game ain't at that level yet.

What would be a cool way (that doesn't make me look needy) to let her know that I would like her to stay overnight but it doesn't mean I assume we're gonna have sex?

Any other thoughts on this?

I'm having sex with a girl and she doesn't want to spend the night. I don't really understand it. All you can do is buy an extra toothbrush and make her feel as comfortable as possible, just give her the option. If she's worried about sex, you can PROMISE her you won't have sex with her. You can do everything leading up to it, though. It shows a lot of self-control, but blue balling yourself kinda sucks.

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31 and still figuring it out.

the other week i took this chick for a drive around the city, we've known each other for a couple years but i havnt seen her for months so it was kinda like we just met again lol, but i took her to some of my fav hangout spots and just hung out, it was 3am at the gas station, as the gas was pumping i told her if she wanted to go home. she said it didnt really matter then im like..... lets go to my place! moviess!!!

haha, she aggreed and we ended up cuddling in my bed all night and eventualy got to kissing, which is weird cause i recall her and me being just friends for the longest time, i never intended to do anything with her but that ended up her being super attracted to me.

so just play it all out and do whatever she feels, usually you can persuade the girl into do anything.. patients is key

any chick stays at my place, and we are fo' sho' gonna do the grownup

fuck sleepovers. what's next? ghost stories? truth or dare? lol

ok well i NEVER have this problem of not knowing whether they want to sleep over or not... maybe because i use a lot of pre-suppositions.. i think thats what they're called... here's an example i use for the sleepover lol...

"ohhhh yeh have you seen "insert movie name"?? when you sleep over we should totallllyyyyy watch it... we'll have like a slumber party! you can bring the pop corn anndddddd ill bring the nail pollish and we can do each others naiiiillllllllssssss and talk about boyyssssssss and all the usually slumber party things!! "

ok now... this example is suited to MY personality... i usually fuck around with them saying stupid shit like this just for fun and they love it... its like a future projects... it shows you're funny and have a sense of humor...

ok now... so the pre-supposition in this is "when you sleep over" by saying this... you are implying that she is sleeping over when you guys watch this movie... ok now for the rest of the shit talk about the slumber party... by bring up the slumber party routine she doesnt feel that you're definitely going to try to have sex with her... so she lets her guard down and agrees to your request... i shit you not this has never failed me... and everytime i say it they start role playing with me saying shit like "oooooo make sure you get the red nail polish... annnddd ill bring a hair straightener so we can do eaaccchhhhhh others hair "
haha and incase you're wondering... no we dont do any of this stuff apart from eat the pop corn she brought to my house lol... she knows its all a decoy just to get her around... but she feels safer and more comfortable...

anyway mate try it... if it doesnt work the first time... then keep trying

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A wise man once told me
"Bros before hoes, unless hoes have no clothes!"

People tend to do what seems the most natural in any given situation. Make it seem natural and ordinary for her to stay the night and she will, make a big deal out of it and she won't. The more you push her to stay the night, the more she will feel the need to leave. Just draw it out. Make it so she doesn't want to leave because you two are having such a good time. Make leaving an afterthought. Then get rid of that afterthought, by keeping her in an emotional state.
She will queue off of your emotional state, so if you start getting logical and start planning things, she will also become logical and most likely leave. Stay in the moment and just keep building the passion. Make the night like a fluid dream, in the sense that you have no responsibilities or worry, and you are fully enjoying the moment with no distractions or nagging worries about tommorow.

Also, if you think that she is not ready to spend the night and is worried about that, you will project that and make her even more anxious. Instead project an heir of confidence that she wants desperately to spend the night. If you project a calmness and normality for her staying, you will significantly calm her about it.

It's all about the ego. She doesn't want to look bad in your eyes. So if she can pick up on the fact that you expect her to be nervous about staying. She will become what you expect, in order to maintain your impression of her.

HAHAHAHA lOVE IT!!!

Seriously though wtf?!?! you just wanna have the pillow talk and not the sex? you know when sleepovers were 'in'? Jr high....back when a hand job was an accomplishment....

Dont push it....if she is into you enough and you are hanging out at your pad, loses track of time, it will happen...but in all seriousness, you should fuck her first then talk about the 'slumber party'.....be sure to invite your 12 year old friends while youre at it, dont want them to miss out

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-=PIST0L=-
“Of all the types of women, I like sluts the best. Mainly because they are the most receptive to me putting my penis in their vaginas.”
-=It's a numbers game that if you never play, you will never win, but play and you're bound to succeed=-

How dumb would you guys feel if he is 12? Anyway, if he doesn't want to have sex yet, that's a totally legit choice. Having sex at the first opportunity isn't the best choice if you're going for a relationship.

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31 and still figuring it out.

When a girl sleeps over and you DON'T have sex or any scenario occurs where you make it explicitly clear to her that you are ok with her NOT putting out, she subconsciously begins to think

(a) I can withold intimacy for as long as I want
(b) He must be more desperate than I thought
(c) He's definitely not getting pussy any time soon (eliminates all of her COMPETITIVE social anxiety - she no longer feels like she needs to try hard to pry you out of the social market. Eclipses the sexual tension between you guys).

Too many guys make the mistake of trying to build RAPPORT rather than ATTRACTION as a path to woman's sexuality.

When you buy a woman expensive gifts, she subconsciously begins to think she is too good for you, she does NOT think "wow, he's such an amazing guy! I love him!"

When you provide for all of a girl's needs, she subconsciously has a desire to keep you as a beta provider and loses all attraction for you and is more likely to sleep with an Alpha.

When you befriend a girl as a way to get into her pants, and she LJBFs you but keeps flirting with you, she is simply trying to keep you as a trophy, she is NOT thinking "wow, what a nice guy, maybe if I get to know him better I might like him."

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My Blog: www.solvemygirlproblems.com

Personally, I'm a big fan of drinking a bottle of Pinot, then playing Super Smash Bros. all night. That's a close, right?

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"I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center."

"I'm going to give you a definite... maybe."

When you say Super Smash Bros, is that a euphemism... do you have a brother?


Where do you virgins get this dumb shit? Dumbest thing I read today and I've been on a LONG time. I can literally argue with every single sentence you just made, but I doubt anyone's buying your bs so why bother. But seriously, show me the source where you got these dubious facts, unless it is out of your ass like I suspect.

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31 and still figuring it out.

thread started out good. going downhill fast.

minsok and Savlon have good posts, thanks

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I'm by no means a reliable source of information... yet

Yeah, since the OP never bothered to follow up, we're mostly just running roughshod here. It's all good.

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31 and still figuring it out.

I agree completely, I had a chat with my ex whom i sleep with on a regular basis the other day, and she was on a date with this guy who was doing alright though he was a bit boring, since she is from out of town, she had planned to sleep on a girlfriends couch (if you're wondering why couch, its because her friend lives with her boyfriend) so when he popped the question she initially said no, but he went on, promising there'd be no sex, she'd get her own blanket and they could just sleep in pajamas, blah blah blah.

of course, the first thing that happened when they hit the bed was the usual afc sexual begging, which went on for about 2 hours...

well guess what he didn't get any, however when they awoke (a bit late and hangover) the next day he started again, now my ex generally doesn't view sex as a big deal, realizing that she had 40 minutes till she had to leave, she rolled over quickly faked it, and haven't answered him since...

DO NOT DO WHAT HE DID!!
if you promise her there wont be sex, there shouldn't be any, Hell when i tell a female friend to come over and promise there wont be any sex, I'm not making a promise I'm setting a ground rule, even if she is begging ill hold the sex, usually to the next meeting, and tadaa! now whenever i want to spend time with her, she feels safe and natural, we've had sex and it was no big deal, we can do it again when she's single and if she has a boyfriend she doesn't avoid me because she knows that she can spend the night without anything happening.

so don't fear having her over and not getting her in bed, personally I think it builds trust and comfort, and removes a great amount of the fears she has regarding having sex with you!
Good luck mate

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"seduction isn’t making someone do what they don’t want to do. Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already".
-Waiter Rant

Invite her over to watch the Carolina game, escalate kino, let the sexual tension drop back a little & casually say "you can stay over if you want". Worked for me last night :-p

For added affect when you're going to bed, put a body pillow between you two and tell her she has to stay on her side of the bed. If you've played your cards right, it won't take long for her to cross the boarder...