i'm in the bay and i see an antique store, i run in before my meet and pick up a redickulous 12 in rusted key which i strap to my belt. 12 o clock i head out to the gaslight i go. see two chubbies they look fuckable, i uturn and park at 7eleven and speed walk slow down when i see them waiting for a locked bathroom. retards i think this should be easy.i say hey let me talk to you. the blonde latches on to my huge key grabbing and pulling at my key. she's mesmerized, i tell her it's for my huge castle after i tell her it's for my car. she knows i'm bullshit but she does'nt care. we walk back to 7elevern. banter i know i can kiss but i don't wait turn fucking bum, he walks up we don 't care he goes in and get's hotdog walks up. i ask can you deepthroat that dog, he pauses to think, i go wtf homo. she laughs as this random bum walks up say's it's on i say i'll protect you, she holds my hips as bum 2 hits bum1. we cross street and wait , no cops, i get number and leave. head to bar and sit and deal with asshole who tests me the whole time, where do you live, what street, let me call my wife she'll verify if that's a real street, fuck off asshole i think he orders beer heads to bathroom says something to random douyche then leaves whole beer and leaves bar. chug four beers then leave. asshole tailgates me from bar turns out copsthey pull me over a mile from my place. aplus on every test, asshole says i did shitty won't even shake my hand, asks if my key is the key to my heart, i say what are you hitting on me? pisses him off, what a douche makes me park across the street and walk a mile to mine, as i go he pulls over two people on the same street i'm walking. what a butthole i think. still not sober at my place cookin eggs, any won else think the chubby from will and grace is cute? ha the redhead isn't wearing a bra, nice, thank you lucky 12 inch key.geez i think i love women, man am i in trouble

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impossible is nothing