Met a girl at the club - now what?



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PostPosted: Tue Jan 11, 2011 8:52 am 
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Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2011 8:40 am
Posts: 1
Hey guys, brand new member here. This seemed like a good place to go with this sort of issue. Unfamiliar with all the techniques and lingo on here, but it seems like there's some interesting stuff.

I'm 21 living at a big university. I met this girl(19) at the club Friday night, and we hit it off pretty quickly (dancing all night, flirting, exchanged numbers). I'm not used to doing this sort of thing (I've recently decided to try expanding my social horizon), but I feel like I handled it pretty well. I kept the mood fun and the flirting was going all night. Towards the end of the night I'm asking what she and her friends are up to after this, and she tells how she has to get home since she works in the morning.

(If I screwed anything up, this is where it happened.)

I did a whole "aww no way c'mon we should hang out back at my place for a bit, I live a block away (which I do), we can walk there." Whoops.

Anyways, I dropped that after about a minute of jokingly saying how she was missing out or whatever, but "alright, that's it we're hanging out tomorrow."

Whoops again. I don't know anything about the techniques on here, but I realize that is pushy, and I probably wouldn't have been so forward about it sober-minded (although it definitely made approaching this girl on the dance floor easier, she is smoking hot lol).

Either way, I don't think that situation affected anything too much. Like I said, I kept a smile on her face all night and it was obviously there was a mutual physical attraction. When we were all leaving, she made sure she had my last name so she could add me on facebook, gave me a hug goodbye and told me to text her. Suweet.

I sent her a short text on my walk home:
"Hanging out tomorrow you're obligated now lol. Glad we met ;)"

(Whoops again with the pressure to hang out.)

About an hour later I get a response:
"I'm glad we met t"

So the next day, I'm sitting here going ahhh when should I text her, so I just said f*** it, if she was into me I'll at least get a response, right? (Probably too soon again, so big fail at me not appearing needy, I know.)

So around 6pm (Saturday) I send the message:
"What's up my dubsteppin amiga ;) how are you how was the marathon burrito making session lol" (We were at a dubstep music show and she mentioned having to work an 8 hour shift at a burrito place that day).

No response, damn. "Oh well" I think. Then about 2 hours later, I get a friend request from her on facebook. Huh? So later that night I accept it. Well now I'm in strange territory, I think.

What's my move? It's now Monday night. We met Friday, and I texted her Saturday.

Do I just flat out call her? That seems strong to me I guess, since we really only had one drunken encounter, and I know I'm more able to be witty in a text message than over the phone. Do I text her? Facebook message her? Do I pretend I never texted her the first time, or do I bring it up?

I had a message typed up to send her on Facebook tonight, but I realized that maybe texting was a better route. Being new at this, I figured that I may as well consult people who know what they're talking about before I pull the trigger on my second attempt at communication.

It was going to go something like this:

"Hey xxxxxx what's up? Had fun Friday night, wanted to see what you're up to this weekend? I would say we should meet up and go out again, but I could understand if you're too scared of getting schooled on the dance floor a second time. If not, how about grabbing some lunch Friday?"

Seemed appropriate to me. But then I was like ehhh facebook? Waited the right amount of time? Maybe I should text, or call, or reword my message, so here I landed.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 11, 2011 9:11 am 
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Joined: Mon Jan 10, 2011 9:45 am
Posts: 25
Location: Australia
Im not a master at this but ive had these thoughts go through my head in the past. You gota stop thinking so much, i know its hard but it really comes across that your over thinking everything, cause there isnt (imo) a step by step process for each girl.

As far as the msg goes theres things id change, i try to stay away from things like "how are YOU doing" and "I WANTED to know what your up to on the weekend"

See whats happening there? Chances are this is prob going nowhere, but you could prob give it a final shot and move on. Im not saying to do it but i would prob just send a txt like "Had such an awesome weekend! Went out!, went on a boat (make some shit up if you have too), and now im tired and need sleep to recover. And ive got to do it all again this week too!"

See the difference? You dont sound like your sitting at your computer desk waiting for her to msg, sounds like you kicked arse all weekend! :P

That might help out abit, and like i said im not a master at this. Its just how i see it. You keep it up and it will be one after the other, you wont even worry if it goes no where with one, youre already onto the next.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 11, 2011 11:56 am 
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Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2011 2:25 am
Posts: 76
Location: Long Island, New York
very simple now, you have two choice. Forget about her and just use the whole experience as just a scrimmage, practice in other words. Or next time your going out maybe this weekend or what ever day you think she's available shoot her a text like, "I had a great time with you and your friends on (w;e day it was), I'm going out with the guys to (same or new place) tonight and your more then welcome to come" or along those lines. Making her come to your plans makes it seem like your not setting aside your life for her rather then having her join in on your life. Don't quote me on this but I'm pretty sure its a slight DHV


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