i have useless friends so no wing man potential.dont really know many people here and i really have to get out the house,im going insane sitting here doing nothing.Theres a local mall down the road from me and i'd like to take advantage of this but i really don't get amped to go out on my own and new people.......im not so good with.

i have problems approaching random groups of people on my own,i know about AA but its not only that.I can't seem to keep a proper conversation with someone new,i either push too hard and seem weird or say 3 to 4 lines and then awrkard silence follows.

Im really tired of this and well thats why i'd like any advice on solo sarging and how to become better.

Marshy

Make it a conscious effort to get rejected as much as possible.

^i disagree. try going to somewhere further away from your residence, that way if you do make an ass of yourself chances are your not ever gunna see those ppl again. but also try:

-drinking an energy drink, coffee to give you energy/get your brain workin.
-having a planned routine or atleast a bit of it too get the ball rolling.
-try,fail,try again, fail, try again, fail, try again....hopefully succeed.

if you try one convo and it bombs and you beat yourself up over it its only going to hurt you for the next try. if your goin out. say your not goin home till you have a decent conversation atleast and stick to it. trying one approach, failing and then going home its not helping you at all.

Being able to start an engaging conversation with one or more people you've never met before is a skill. It's like playing the guitar, or shooting jump shots, you practice and improve over time. Don't be hard on yourself if you can't charm the pants off strangers in a few minutes of chatting, every time you try and improve your skills you learn and grow, trying truly is the essence of success.

Another thing, if you're trying to learn guitar only to play a song to impress someone, or shooting jumpers only because you want to hit a big shot in front of a crowd, you're going to struggle. That's not to say you can't achieve your ulterior motive via whatever you're practicing, but it's going to be a hard road where you often dread picking up the ball but feel compelled to anyway in hopes of realizing your goal. Find genuine enjoyment in meeting and connecting with other people, when it's a pleasure to chat with that girl walking through the food court outside of potentially scoring her number, it get's a lot easier to do, and your honesty will shine through. I'm not saying you can't be interested in scoring her number on top of things, just don't make it the focus of what you're doing.

So, head out to the mall with a relaxed, positive attitude. Check out the shops, have a smile on your face, and enjoy yourself. If someone responds negatively to your attempts to be social, it really is their problem and not yours.

Good luck man,

hi,

ive done solo sarging loads of times, and it can help you to stand up on your own two feet.

to do that, just go to a busy nightclub - nobody will know you are on your own. chat to people around you (guys as well).

if anyone asks where your friends are, just say theyre wondering around the club and you lost them

eventually, you'll see the regulars out, get to know them better and get into their social circle

Also, if you're doing the solo club thing and anybody asks you why you're alone, just say you were with your friend but he started hooking up with a girl. Came up with this one last night, it works perfectly.

Just make sure it's a big enough club that she won't ask "where", that could be awkward...