Main Attraction Switches:

1. You must show her that you’re safe. Trust is an important issue for most women. This must be demonstrated. So switch #1: in order to proceed, you need SAFETY and TRUST.

2. You must show her that you have either ambition, motivation, or job/financial security. In other words, you must have a life and goals. So switch #2 is demonstrating to her that you have STABILITY and AMBITION. You don’t have to be successful, you just have to show the potential to be successful (unless you’re in your 30s, at which point you should have achieved something).

3. You must show her that you’re different than the other guys, that you are not generic or boring, that she can learn something from you or grow with you, that you have a sense of adventure or creativity or spirituality. So switch #3 is showing her that you HAVE SOMETHING TO OFFER, even if you don’t give it to her in the moment. This is where DHVs are useful.

4. You must be the PRIZE of the room. She wants a guy others will envy her for, that she can brag about to her friends. This is where social proof comes in, where story-telling comes in. It’s also where alpha qualities come in, cocky/funny, and not supplicating. So switch #4 is demonstrating all of the many qualities of CONFIDENCE, LEADERSHIP, AUTHORITY, and POPULARITY

5. It’s a big world and we all feel alone in it, so if you can demonstrate that you UNDERSTAND her and where she comes from, she will feel chemistry. This can largely be done through demonstrating either cultural, mental, emotional, world view, humor, or life/background commonalities. The more obscure and rare a trait that you connect on, the more chemistry you create. So Switch #5 is demonstrating COMMONALITIES in order to trigger CHEMISTRY.

6. You need an aura of depth and mystery. You must maybe show a vulnerable or wounded side of yourself, you must not give away everything for free, you must be a puzzle she wants to figure out and maybe even have a wound she can heal. Switch #6 then is hooking her with your DEPTH and MYSTERY.

7. You must show her that you are NOT horny, but sexual. This is where social proof comes in too, also demonstrating an understanding of her world (liking her for who SHE is). So switch #7 is demonstrating your own LACK OF DESPERATION while showing her that you RECOGNIZE SOMETHING SPECIAL IN HER THAT ATTRACTS YOU TO HER. This is where QUALIFYING is useful, in other words demonstrating that you like her for who she is–even if you are a player.

I honestly can't imagine a scenario where having an amazing car can help you in picking up a stranger

Note: I try to avoid gold-diggers like crazy so this (and my post above) probably reflect this.


I still think it's the other way around. It's the inner game that you HAVE to have in order to get success in any field.

xfman: I love expensive suits, shoes, shirts, watches and eyewear but to be honest I think you're talking about inner game again. Can you feel great when you walk out of your closet dressed like million bucks? Sure! But you don't need it to project confidence and success.

And for the clothes... There is a clear difference between a good suit or shirt and cheep one. But you can still dress yourself from head to toes for 500$ with a bit of luck and not one girl will be able to pinpoint the difference. I'm still not convinced that any girl (that you can find in a bar) will be able to tell the difference between Kiton Made-to-measure suit and 400$ suit that fits you well. And the first girl that will be able to tell Patek from nice looking 50$ Swatch is the girl I'll marry.

About styles post you quoted: 4. backfires all the time (at leat when it comes to day-1). Girls that ARE NOT gold diggers are afraid of being seen as one.

I'm not ashamed of my status. I achieved it, have nothing to hide and I'm proud of it. I show it. But I had just enough time to experiment with it. If you asked me few years ago I would agree with you in every point. Today I can borow Peugeot 206, dress in cheap clothes and have 50$ in my pocket and I will have same success. Is it my inner game? Probably. But it was there before I got my hands on fast car and money. I wouldn't have any of those two things otherwise.

Saying a Ferrari doesn't help is like saying money doesn't help.

IT DOESN'T HELP.

I'm in my early 20's driving exotic car and I get asked this all the time. It doesn't help at all.