met this guy..on the first date we went to the movies and didnt have much opportunity to talk afterwards. the same night he texted me and stressed that he wanted to see me again. in the days to come he initiated contact via text frequently and 6 days later we met again to have a drink in town. was a fun night there, but he made no move..so to reinforce that i was enjoying my time with him i stroked his leg. he didnt respond.

yikes.

i never had that before. so obviously i stopped. upon saying goodbye he stressed that he enjoyed the evening and our ways split. 1 hour later i get a text where he asks me when we can see each other again. since i still was highly caught of guard with the minor incident at the bar i made a joke out of it by asking whether i was going to fast his response was that he approaches dating in a more step-by step way. we joked back and forth that he better be a good kisser and there were minor sexual innuendos about what should happen the next time we meet etc..

next day he texts me to find out when we could meet, so we met a few days after to meet at his place. on that evening again we had fun and everything was really comfortable but again he failed to initiate anything, there was slight cuddling but that was initiated by me and not much came back from him. after a few hrs i left to catch the last bus. the next day he texts me and thanks me for the evening and notes that time really runs fast with me..

what in gods name is going on? i know that he considers himself being a bit old fashioned in some areas and he is the opposite of a player, but this is taking it a bit over the top, or? i mean..no cuddling, kissing on date 3?? especially if he knows i am up for it? come on.. and if he really isnt interested why would he be pressing on meeting again and again etc. this one really baffles me.. [/u]

Maybe he just wants to be friends! Im sorry love but youve entered the dreaded friend zone with this guy but hey- nothing wrong with just having a guy friend.
Maybe hes got some real friendly mates who will happily take advantage of you.
If you dont create enough sexual tension he will think your not interested in him that way - maybe as a girl you should just do what comes naturally and im pretty sure he wont say no - its in our genes!
(I CANT BELIEVE A GIRL IS ASKING A MALE PU FORUM FOR HELP ON THIS SUBJECT LOL.) This cant be real.
I cant get this guy to bonk me- please!
Some womem are truly as insecure as us in this subject- what an eye opener!

Is this real life? Lol. Since he's old fashioned I'd say just go with it. Its slow and frustrating as hell but I think if you keep doing what you're doing you'll get what you want. You're a chick! How hard is it for a chick to get laid?! All you gatta do is spread dem legs! I don't think you're in the friendzone yet...he still texts you to meet up and other stuff. Seems like a nice guy though. You could always 'game' someone else on the side.

what

From personal experience with friends that consider themselves 'old-fashioned,' nine times out of ten it means that they are inexperienced, or simply AFCs. What you need to do is toss something different into the mix to jumpstart him... like saying, 'you can kiss me now' during your next awkward moment... if that doesn't get him to step up... he might be gay and enjoying your friendly company...

thx for the comments so far guys. no he isnt gay i`ve seen pics of the ex`es (its always the same type- i fall into the category) and he isnt in-experienced. just not the player type, ltr-oriented and solid person. its not that i am trying to get laid as someone suggested its just annoying to me that he hasnt made any moves, never happened to me before and it feels like a diss! and it doesnt come across as friendzone as the first contributor suggested because he always was the one suggesting meeting up (even scheduled date 2 immediately after date 1 and date 3 after date 2) and there is contact far too frequently from his side. typically/from experience people tend to back out when they are not interested and especially dont enforce meeting/contact when they see if the other person wants to take it somewhere they dont want to go. thats why this is weird..a friend of mine dated him a sigle time 3 months ago, she claimed that it felt like he wasnt over his ex because he kept on mentioning her. it hasnt happened with me, i never had that feeling, but maybe it is that. or i am just impatient and should wait for date 4 lol

I had a friend who had major issues with girls. He never could initiate a kiss, the girls always had to take control of the situation at one time the girl said to him " come on if we are going to date dont be shy to grab or kiss me" Maybe he likes to be dominated just jump him already, he probably really shy, some guys dont like to make the first move.

I read Your problem Cindy and I can't help but think why would You want to date a guy who apparently don't know how to do things and how to act like a man?

Sorry if this offended You.

How old is he? How old are you?

Charm is correct: "Old fashioned" = No experience. Obviously, he is into you . . . he just needs somebody to lead him that's all.

I don't know . . . how about the whisper game. Just whisper something in his ear, "I have a secret." Then let him play along by putting your ear to his lips. Then as you go back and forth, just brush lips/cheeks casually until you're brushing lips to lips. It'll make him feel as if partook in the process instead of feeling like a dork for making a chick frustrated enough to pounce him.

The guy just doesn't know that he is supposed to evolve with you. Sure, at first acting non-reactive to when a girl initiates something can be fun and interesting, but when a guy persists on doing that, he obviously doesn't understand that bonds only form when both genders go the same distance. At first I don't return anything back because it makes things more fun, it separates me from all the other guys, I make it a challenge. But then if I actually like the girl and she continues to initiate things, I return them back to seal the deal.

@wasabi &nyseto- i am 29 and he is 33. but you are barking up the wrong tree when you think its inexperience. he has had a couple of long lasting ltr, he just isnt the ons-type guy and he might be a tad shy, but its not that. and its not only the lack of initiating anything physical on these 2 dates, its also the fact that nothing came back when i initiated. i mean, we arent even talking about kissing, just stroking/cuddling..

He could just be a wuss and all his exes could've been very aggresive sexually so he never had to make the move. The only other thing that makes sense is that he has a STD and is waiting for it to be cure first or he's just waiting for his warts to die down before he tap that.

Woooooah
Just saying, I thought every male was always in for sex if he's interested in her.

when he makes a joke, touch his shoulder or arm when you laugh at it whilst looking into his eye

turn the conversation sexual in a subtle way (e.g. by maybe talking about past relationships and moving it towards deeper stuff, more overt topics) If you can get talking about what each other likes in a partner, and you give yourself the opportunity to tell him how you like a man who is confident and dominant, who can lead you by being a bit aggressive (but of course always respectful) then if he doesn't get the message, he's retarded.

Let me ask you this, however

are you actually attracted to this guy, or
are you trying to MAKE yourself be attracted to him because he seems like the kind of guy you SHOULD be attracted to (nice, good job, polite, etc.) ?

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@ugly bug - if he had an std in what way would kissing or cuddling be a problem??

@blondguy- i really dont want to initiate anything again. come on. i did it once and i did it twice. by now he knows that i want to get a bit physical so there really is no excuse and when he was texting, even if in a joking manner, he was up for it. i`m also surprised that none of you picked up the possibility that i mentioned that he still might be in love with the ex and that that is keeping him back. i am attracted to him yes, but a part of getting to know one another is getting physical, you dont buy a car before you drive it.

i think i will give it two more tries...if there is nothing physical by then i simply will suggest that i will gladly provide him with my best friends number (lesbian girl) with whom he can either knit, do pottery or watch tv with, whilst i try to get to know someone who is up for something more sensual, the next time he suggests meeting up. very blunt and he will have gotten the message.

how about that?