Hi guys.

About 3 months ago, my girl friend ended our 2-years relationship. She went to study to the United States, and about 5 weeks after being there, she sent me an email telling me she could not do this anymore. I have never really been in love with her, but as always, my f**king needyness is killing me. Our relationship was cool, but I was getting bored. Yet, it's been 3 months and I'm still feeling needy. I just can't accept being nothing to her now (welcome to AFCland). Sh*t.

She is seeing someone else since 2 months and a half I would say (yep, that's all it takes to forget 2 years with me, a damn AFC). But I don't give a d*mn. The problem is with ME! I AM SUCH A NEEDY P*SSY.

Here's what I sent her a week ago by email:

Still no answer. (and that pisses me off)

What I already know.
I AM NEEDY because I have nobody, no girl around. I'm all by myself. I can't think clearly right now because of my needyness. This is bad. My value is dropping down as hell (should I care?).

What I need to know.
- How can I fix that mistake? What can I send her to make her believe I just don't give a sh*t?
- Do I have to get mad at her? (that's what I would say if I had not read PUA stuff)
- Should I delete her from my Facebook contact? Or use it as a tool to show her how I'm f**king great without her?

What s the income for me.
I will enhance my damn game and teach me how to deal with my needyness, and how to deal with future break-ups.

HELP WELCOMED!

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

hmmmmm sorry to hear you're hurting and clearly you are.

feelings get hurt in relationships.... happens. needy or not. everyone deals with it differently however here is what I would say to keep in mind

1. you were bored anyway someone would have drifted regardless
2. admitted you didnt love her but whether thats true or not is irrelevant because
3. she went away.... and long distance NEVER works regardless of stories you've heard it does NOT work.. and THINKING they are being faithful so many miles away is just that. because people NEED certain things in a relationship you cant get being apart.
4. the best way to get over someone is to STOP reading old emails and texts. STOP thinking about the things that went down. send her an email for your own peace of mind that says, "merry christmas, hope all is well in your world. I have a lot going on lately so i wont be able to talk to you much afterall. feel free to email me anytime and I'll respond if I can, otherwise take care and good luck to you. "

the VERY best way to get over someone is to start seeing someone else.. not just anyone but date around if you can,,...improve your game if you have to to do this but when you meet a girl that you miss after the date.. she might be cool for you.. see her again.. what this does is it starts to make you realize that all the little jokes and laughs and fun times with that person arent unique to that person... yes the micro portions might be but you will have laughing fits in bed and awesome - crazy sex and stupid inside jokes and blowing air in her mouth instead of kissing her to make her laugh and etc and etc.... and you wont care so much about the last one.. you will never forget her but you dont need to....

so its not that she took only 2 months to get over you.. shes probably excited about the new thing thats happening and you are a memory.... hopefully a good one but even if a bad one.. it doesnt matter because this is how it works.

its not about time.. its about experience... if you sit in your house all day thinking ie... "getting over it" .. it will make it worse.... go out and find other girls. you're "neediness" is coming from you being lazy and banking on having her there..... put more money in the bank and you wont be so needy when it comes to hand outs...

good luck.
you will be fine.
dont get mad at her.... no matter what she ever says or does or tries to hurt you with... you will destroy her FAR better by simply being unaffected and wishing her well..... and when she does reply to your emails.... DONT reply back.. leave her behind..... if you ever do feel like you HAVE to reply back... keep it short like

"good to hear.. gtg take it easy"


always be unaffected.

THANKS!
What a wise post. Thanks for your time.
You're right about everything you've written here.

I'll send her an email for Christmas, tell her I have finally no time to call her and whishing her the best.
I'm working on it, but maybe too hard => from-afc-to-pua-a-learning-jounal-afc-d ... 81510.html (My Learning Journal) I am focused on picking-up while I should try to extend my social circle in the first place.... Well if you have some tips about that too, that would be nice.

Thanks again.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Just a quick post to say that I actually sent the message. I'll keep you informed if I ever got a reply.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Trust me man, long distance relationships are utterly self destructive. She did both of you a huge favor by ending it. You get the worst of many worlds in a long distance relationship:
1. You don't get to see the girl
2. If you're faithful, every time a hot girl walks by you know that you're missing out. This is very destructive.
3. You waste loads of money on phone calls & travel.
4. People change, especially when living in a different environment. But when you're apart, you won't notice this. You'll just continue keeping a perfect fantasy image of her in your mind, you'll forget about the flaws, and keep looking forward to seeing this perfect person you've created in your mind, which you WILL NEVER GET. Because that fantasy is just that: a fantasy. When you get to spend some time together, you'll be very disappointed. Trust me, I've been there.
5. If and when you break up (which is very likely due to #4) you'll realize how much you've lost out on. You wasted your time, you missed out on all the beautiful women you could have had, and you got nothing back from it. At least if you're in a relationship with someone you can see, you had some good times.

My long distance girlfriend gained about 15 kilos (!) when we were apart, boy was I in for a shock when we got together. And she was completely different from what I'd imagined. We had nothing in common, we didn't have any fun, and there was nothing to do together, since there was nothing we both liked doing together and we'd already done all the talking we could do over the phone. Also, she'd gone from being a nice sweet girl to becoming a demanding bitch.

So after being 4-5 years in a long distance relationship, we broke up after just being together for a few weeks.

Oh, and BTW, for future reference, that email you wrote has got "I'm sad, lonely, and needy" written ALL OVER IT, here's why:
1. First of all, never tell a girl you're trying to attract anything about you being sad or upset. It's a sign of weakness. A girl wants to look up to you for support, she wants you to be her hero. If James Bond comes to you and tells you he's sad about his childhood memories, he would instantly change from being a hero to a pussy.
2. You told her about 5 times that you want very much to see her and speak with her in any way possible. You expressed that you're upset she hasn't given any news about herself to you. You even said that you'll settle for SPAM, or anything that lets you see her. (i.e. "Please baby, I just need to see for you for just one moment!") A cool guy that isn't needy and doesn't care, says something more along the lines of "BTW, if you happen to be in town around christmas let me know, maybe we can go out for a quick drink." And then DROP it. Don't mention it 4 more times.

Also, if you want her to think you're not needy, just stop emailing her!

But trust me dude, if you hear it from me, you're better off without this girl. Get a nice girl that you can actually see on a daily basis. Otherwise you'll end up like me. If you think you're upset now, imagine how hard it will be to break up 4 years from now.

Hi Fireball...

I don't even know what to tell you. You're damn right about LDR, and I know/knew it. Actually, I was not even in love with her... But my needyness was killing me, I can't think clearly when I'm in such a state. When I wrote this email I was not involved in the community, I did not know that what I was feeling was needyness. I guess I freaked that night.

The email? Man, I'm ashamed of it.
Yet, let me add something. I truely wish we could stay good friends. I've been with her for 2 years, nobody knows me better. It would have been good to keep her as a friend. That's what I was also thinking about when I sent this email. I wanted to show her that I was OK, and we could be friend. FAIL.

Thanks for sharing your experience. 4/5 years... that might have been really hard. I'm better off without her, you're right. Actually, I'm going to study in Brazil in February... I guess it's better to be single there

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)