Hi dudes.
Listen up, i feel like sharing something. Get ready, this might be a long post.
What i am about to share is for the most part experiences. There is a small part that comes out of books and reflection. This is about seduction and PU. After my experiences and experiments, this is what seduction and PU is all about. Beware, this might end up as a long post.
The direct/indirect paradigm is simple: No matter how you do PU or seduction, whether your general flow is direct or indirect, at some point you need to make your intentions clear. You need honesty and the balls to be honest.
Seduction and PU are a combination of direct/indirect. There is no need for balance, they just need to be there. There is no direct game without indirect, even in the slightest bit, and there is no good indirect game without that little touch of direct.
Lets assume the pickup of a complete stranger.
Lets start with direct/honest mindset. Its the most simple, i like it the most and this mindflow breathes the meaning of the paradigm. You approach and you honestly state your mind, going from: "i think you are very hot/sexy/what the fuck" to "goddammit, you are the kind of person i want to lay this moment" to even "i want to have sex with you". When being honest, you create instant interest or instant aversion, meaning, you either get a yes or a no. You can consider a maybe as a yes. You create interest and for the seduction to stand, you need to hold that interest.
Your honesty breaks the distrust. Your honesty takes away the alertness of your 'target'. This distrust is just the natural thing that happens when the two opposite sexes talk. You automatically wonder what is the business of the other. It happens to be so that many dont speak their minds and keep on speculating. but not now, now, its out there, the 'bad words' are spoken. Beware, most of the times, this is only half the battle. I elaborate more on this further in the post.
Then there is the indirect way. To me, indirect goes more to seduction then it goes towards PU. Without a doubt, the goal of seduction is getting you inside the head of the target. Making the person think about you while not aware that it was actually you who put the thought there. That is seduction. Indirect game is seduction in my eyes. When doing indirect game, guru's and wannabe guru's tell you it is imperative that you hide your true feelings and desires, but that you indirectly 'build attraction' as they put it. Builing attraction... like taking a freaking hammer and some wood and what? Take the blueprints for you attraction and just hammer it together? No, the point is to put the though, the idea of you insider her head.
Unfortunately, there is this natural tension/barrier between sexes, which means you need some way of overcoming that indirectly. Many dudes have come up with the weirdest things and rules to seduce, like negging, ignoring, freezing people out, all great tools, but used completely in the wrong way. it never tears down this barrier. You cant make total strangers think about you just like that. To overcome the barrier, the thought of you must seem like something that comes from within the target. when this barrier is still standing, there is in my experience no way to do that. You need to take it down. You can do that by being honest, even in the slightest way (i think you are cute, or i like you, you are funny, cute, whatever), you can connect and build rapport, or you can try and elicit emotions that would that blur the mind. But at some point, while you 'gaming' indirect, you need to make your move. You need to show that you want to kiss her, fuck her.
The idea of 'building attraction' is either a good concept put in the wrong words or just plain bullshit. Lets be honest right here people: who has ever been in the following situation:
You meet this girl you find very attractive. You have some canned opener you read somewhere in some kind of book. Suppose its about opinions. You ask her an opinion, a conversation is born. Alright!! you have this feeling that it is on. You have your eagle eyes out, not missing a single IOI she gives you. She rubs her lips, she touches a boob once, she puts her hair nice, she keeps the conversation going. You, whilst bending your mind over the IOI, you neg her, you do some C&F, you qualify her and all that shizzle. You end up getting her number. hooray. You meet again, you qualify again, you are sure you see some more IOI's and hell, you are building more attraction than there is stones in the great wall of China. At the end of evening, you go in for the kiss and blam, its a no go. ' i am sorry, but i dont feel that way about you or anything like that'. You go home and wonder what has gone wrong. Or something similar. Most of the people who 'do pickup' dont even get to the point of going in for the kiss, as they keep on pondering if the IOI's they have seen are truly IOI's. In the rare case, you will get your kiss. But mind you, did you really built that attraction or was it already there to begin with?
What did you expect? You used a conversation about an interesting topic as an excuse to talk to somebody you find attractive. Although girls do know better, or at least consider the possibility that you hide something, when the topic is interesting, they will talk. When you are a fun person to be with, you can get a phone number. It doesnt mean however that when you call, she will be ready for you with legs spread. I sometimes meet fun dudes, and in the end, i ask their phonenumber. But there is no way on earth i am going to screw that butthole.
You used the conversation as a pretext and all of the sudden, at the end of a fun evening, there goes the smoke and kablammo, your intentions come to the surface like a train rushing over a chicken.
Then there are those guys who try to force thoughts on somebody, using NLP as their indirect way to go. Dont get me wrong, I love NLP. I love patterns, i have been reading and doing NLP since i was 15. But the whole concept of this tool is misunderstood. And even the grandmaster himself, Ross Jeffries, doesnt make it always that clear. I dont claim to be a NLP expert, absolutely not, but i am experienced in using it, especially language patterns.
You are in this conversation with this girl, thigns are going good, so it seems. So you decide to force the thought of sex in her mind. You change the subject all of a sudden to sex. DING DONG. that is the bell in the girls head. She is alerted. You two dont know each other one hour ago, and all of a sudden, this dude is talking about sex. could it be that he actually wants it, but hides the fact that he wants it?
The change of subject to relationships and sex and romance is something that is noticed by people who you dont trust enough yet. Even patterning with the words sex, relationships, love and attraction and sorts, are being noticed! its not the fact that you talk weird as you might think.
ITS THE SUBJECT. People using it in this way think that when they randomly perform the pattern, they are free to go, as the girl must be dripping wet. Now, it might very well be that her mind is on sex, but the thought is signalled in her mind as coming from you. Its origin is not of her own mind. It is clear that the thought is being placed there by you, but you are still hiding your intentions. Your words are not congruent. The girl is on to you. Rarely, in this case, you can pull it off. But here comes the clash of direct/indirect again. Your pattern is obvious, its too direct, but you are not standing behind it. Its a cowardly attempt to ask her for sex.
geesh, the more i am writing down, the more i ask myself the message comes across clear enough, if i am making sense at all.
The same thing applies for negging and C&F (which comes down to negging often enough but just formulated in an other way). So what happens is that guys just open girls and start negging, a flow of negs comes down on her head. Ok, they laugh, and sometimes the message comes across as you being a funny guy, fun to be around with. But most of the times, you will create something like: wtf is up with this dude? In desperate need of attention? I dont really give a shit what he is assuming about my hair/nails, i am not interested anyway. What does he want? does he want to talk or does he want to make fun of me?
A neg every once and a while, or a C&F remark every once and a while is fun. You profile yourself as fun, but its not a technique on itself. Its a tool. Negging and C&F are meant to flirt. They are only effective when there is interest on the side of the girl. Imagine the feeling she must have when she becomes interested in you, but suddenly she gets a neg... Hmm, she is like: omg, i was under the impression that he liked me. Could i be wrong?
You insert doubt here, and not confusion. Big difference there.
The same thing with qualifying. Some dudes open a girl and get into a conversation. They start qualifying the girl out of nowhere, like 'scanning if she is fuckable material, relationship material or just good enough to be friends or to hang around with'. Out of the blue. Teh girl is like: wtf, i dont care if i am good enough to be your friend, fuckbuddy or anything, i dont want that anyway. But in the meanwhile, you are there, wasting your time while seeing IOI's by every move she does. Again, its a total different story when you told her: hey, i think you sexy as hell. When you said somehting a little direct as that, you can notice instantly if there is no interest at all. None what so ever. You will have this icky feeling that something went wrong. That is it
. But if you dont have that feeling in your gut, your qualification has a total different meaning. She is interested, perhaps even only in a minor way, but now there is a qualification! Its not entirely sure if she is good enough.
Again, you created doubt instead of confusion. Which is good
.
Now back to direct. Lets be honest here, who has ever been in this situation where you opened a girl by telling her this: Hey, i think you are very hot and i want to have sex with you? Who has ever done that without getting harsh bullshit back? (yeah, every once and a while, there is this woman who does just walk away or gives you crap. The one walking away is lost cause, the one giving bullshit isnt, but for the sake of the example, lets keep it positive and imagine the girl just accepts what you said). So the girl just accepts what you said.
Have you noticed the incredible feeling of freedom you have? Sometimes, the battle is already won and you will have sex. More often, the true seduction has only yet begun. You have incredible freedom to tell her whatever it is you want. You can go dirtymouthing, you can flirt, you can just... be free actually. There are limits ofcourse, you cant just jump her right on the spot, or be touchy all over the place, not just yet. But you notice that all of these techniques those PUA's talk about, actually have a meaning in this context. You notice that they can be used as tools, with great effect btw.
To wrap it all up:
- Seduction and PU is about going for what you want, regardless of you going direct at it or indirect. You are doing seduction/PU if you are prepared to clarify your intentions, even if it is just a little bit. It is about having the balls to do it. Rejection is a part of this. Every person can be seduced, considering the time, context and energy. Since you are doing PU/seduction, you chose the time and context. This might not always be in the same line as that of your target. In some other time, other place, you might have pulled it off anyway.
- When you are prepared to go for what you want, you will notice how these techniques really are just tools, to be used in the correct context for the largest effect of them.
- Mankind is defined by his awareness of emotions and feelings. Emotions and feelings are key elements in seduction/PU. You cant do without them. So anybody who says: you shouldnt care, is talking bullshit.
When doing seduction/PU, be ready for the impact of those emotions on yourself!. Be able to deal with them! You know, the only way to achieve some sort of control is by admitting that it has control over you.
This is the core of seduction and PU. Going for what you want is being alpha. Acting like a jerk and like you dont care is not being able to deal with truth. Its a form of weakness.
This has indeed become a very long post. I hope it did make some sense. I have forgotten a great deal of things, so this is open for discussion. Come up with other point of views, things i might have forgotten, concepts, so me and other people might discuss them as well.
Ciao!
CHAT
