ONE HELL OF A CHALLENGE! She defines challenge!

I met this woman about a year ago. We talked and went on a few dates. During the first date she showed a lot of interest, but afterwards she withdrew from communication lines, wouldn't go on MSN anymore, wouldn't respond to my texts, wouldn't answer the phone, and I had to chase her. I managed to get a hold of her for another date, and the pattern continued. On the third date she told me she really liked me a lot, but when I set up a fourth meet, she flaked! I wrote a scathing email, and she said she felt horrible and said it was because of anxiety, and she hoped we could keep in touch and be friends still if she was lucky. So anyway, I wrote back and said that would be cool, and I understood....Then she didn't respond back to that email. At that point I was like, Okay, well, I'm just not chasing this girl anymore, fuck it! Theeenn, I got a response back from her six months later, saying how she really regreted how things left off between us and she realizes she is late with the reply, but now going to school, and see how things go, if I still want to talk.

Anyway, so I wrote back and said that would be great, but once again, I had to chase for replys. She would bail mid chat without warning, she wouldn't answer emails. So I got fed up and wrote another scathing letter how I was sure she just lured me in to play some sick little game. That time I got an immediate response! She said she was really busy with school and was upset that I couldn't understand that. I kept to my guns and layed down the law, I raised a number of points that she simply couldn't argue with.

So we kept in touch after that as well, as I started to figure her push/pull method out a little bit better. She had just gotten back in town from school and wrote me a facebook message saying she wanted to hang out. So we met. She had somewhat of a bitch shield up, but she payed for my meal and said she would be back for Christmas anyway.

She also told me that she needs a "nice guy" implying I was a "nice guy" which pretty much made me want to puke!

I've come to realize that I need to not give a fuck about the outcome with this woman and I need to put her out of my mind. I'm out meeting other women. Despite all the bullshit, it would still be good if something did happen though.

Should I just back off and not message her to meet during Christmas? How can you challenge someone who is such an incredible challenge themself?

Go and talk to them.

Full stop.

When you say "scathing" email, what do you mean.

either way showing disappointment in her actions via e-mail was a mistake.

My thing is, if a girl EVER flakes, I always freeze immediately. It is then her job to re-initiate. If a girl flakes, and you even imply that the flake upset you, that is DLV. Always..

basically, even if it's not true, it's like "no big deal you flaked, i had other stuff to do, i waited for like 30 seconds and had more fun with other people anyways"

It would be easy in this situation, to MAKE HER chase YOU, you know. She always re-establishes contact, and it will take a LONG time, but when she does, be nice, but lay on the disqualifiers, and the negs. have the frame of, "you're cool, but not special, I like spending time with you, but if you mistreat me, I'm gone.. It doesn't bother me at all"(obviously don't say just that).

this way, every time SHE re-initiates contact, she's chasing you. The bottom line is with ANY girl, until you've had sex with them, or are in a relationship with them, you can NEVER SHOW your disappointment for their lack of presence or attention. I'm not saying it IS needy, but it comes off AS needy. and at any rate, more needy than THEY are. make sense?

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As a PUA, you must leave the girl better off than when you found her

Okay, thanks. Yeah I have made some obvious mistakes with this one. Some mistakes are more obvious to me than others. I'll change the way I deal with her, at the very least I'll use that info for future girls. I was useing DeAngelo's rule of don't ever take a womans shit, so there is some conflicting information out there. I'll go with the indifference now, and see how that works.

Life is too short, there are thousands of attractive psychologicaly healthy women out there who would love to hang out with you. Send this girl the message "you need to find someone you can push about and does what you say to make you happy (obviously thats not me lol) but good luck" it's her problem not your's.

The FIRST rule of The Game is knowing and understanding the sweet spot between "nice guy" and asshole. When chicks say "nice guy" that is typically code for groveling weak AFC. Your goal then is to let her know (with words and actions) that you aren't a nice guy (i.e. AFC) but in a way that doesn't make you come off like an asshole. I have heard that line before (I need a nice guy) and I always say. "LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU FIND ONE. If the chick is running push-pull game on you...call her on it! I typically use a neg like, "HAVE YOU BEEN READING THE ADVICE COLUMN IN COSMO OR SOMETHING?" Bottom line here is that you need to move on...you have violated too many rules of THE GAME to get this chick's ultimate respect.

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Atomicglow

Looks like this girl has good game.

I saw no indications that you do however.

She keeps you on a string, and probably does so with a bunch of guys. I knew a girl like that. She called them her suitors.

Yeah, like it was previously said, you did a few things the wrong way. You rewarded her 'hot/cold' SPAM by chasing. Exactly what it's ment to do. You steped in the trap and now you are cought in it. The scathing emails you sent just made her know that she was playing the right string. You showed her way too much attention. Calls, emails, texts? Way too much.

Why is she so important? Do you like being treated like shit or is it just the first girl that you happen to have mild success with?

Sorry if some of my post seems a bit rough, but sometimes what people need is a kick in the balls to let them know they are still there.

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Drink me, make me feel real
Wet your beak in the stream
Game we're playing is life
Love is a two way dream

LOL, well she kicked me off her facebook yesterday, so that takes care of that. It wasn't like I was constantly texting her or sending her messages. There would be gaps of weeks between. I tried to remedy the nice guy syndrome with some ball busting, but it backfired I guess. I had hardcore oneitis, she was a brilliant musician, so the inner bitch in me came out to play. It's true, oneitis is a disease.

The strangest thing happened in the months we wen't speaking. Her friend from highschool contacted me from an online dating site. I didn't know it was her highschool friend until she found her in my facebook friend list. I wound up fucking her friend, and several months later got a response from the other one. It was a total coincidence, unplanned.

Anyway, this girl is a gonner now. It's for the best because she caused me a lot of stress, but I learned a lot about what not to do, and I learned a lot about how to be a challenge myself.

Sorry I've been out of town working for a bit, it looks as if it's too late for that girl, but just to clarify;

Freezing a girl, and not taking a girls shit are not conflicting opinions

When DeAngelo says Don't take shit from a girl, what he's saying is to not let a girls agenda be the death of you. If a girl is playing hard to get, or negging you, you SHOULDN'T take it.

Freezing out, playing hard to get right back, negging her, are simply tools to achieve ALPHAdom, or higher status, AKA to NOT take their shit.

In the future when you interact with girls, make sure they know exclusively that YOU are higher value, and that YOU control the interaction. Research frame control, and conversational tactics.

Good work at some points in your story though. There are plenty of hotter more emotionally available girls out there in your zip code.

We can always learn.

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As a PUA, you must leave the girl better off than when you found her

This reminds me of nearly EXACT SAME situation I had with this girl I got hooked up online. She lived in a town like 20 mins away and we really did fit quite together (still so far to this point of my life she'd be the online one to have character so close to mine) but she'd just stop answering once in a while etc. Which obviously would piss me off (it was back from before PU days). After I stopped talking to her for like 3 months or so she'd leave me sort of same message she left You. That she feels like a jerk, had some personal problems and she hopes we'd talk again. So I tried again (idiot!) and things were BIT better. We even hooked up (we haven't seen each other face to face before) but the night before she said she's going on a party and she's not sure if she'll make it next day. And then I never heard from her again. Sounds familiar?
Waste of time. Now I know that if a girl after 2-4 weeks (tops!) won't want to meet You face to face then she never will or never will make it serious.

Just thought I'd share since it seemed A LOT like Your situation.

I'm not busting your balls dude as I have been there done that a million times over. Like some of the others have said, she gamed you but don't beat yourself up over it, chicks have natural game, we have to learn it.

Where you screwed up is in chasing her and playing it on her terms. The first tiem she flaked you should have bang another chick with your free time. Don't call her and if she calls you later to oppologize don't show that it bothered you and just say, "oh man, you missed a great party!" and then get back to gaming your way into her pants.

The second she knows you will be following her like a kicked puppy you will become a puppy she can kick around or call with a whistle when she wants you to sit in her lap and cuddle.

Alpha means playing your game with your ball in your sandlot, others can join you if they follow your rules. When she said she needed a "nice guy' that was her hook trying to snag you into being her lap-puppy.

You fell for this time. don't beat yourself up, we all have done it and all still fall for it from time to time. Just learn from it and move on.