hey all.

im gonna make this short. and without giving exact examples just take my word for the observations and see if you can offer some advice.

-i picked up this girl a few weeks ago
-been talking pretty much non stop....things happened first time we hung out..(my place)
-she seemd to feel bad about it and explained she never does that and has no idea why it was so easy w me
-i explained its cuz we're comfy together and it was rare but good
- we are really comfy together and the chemistry is REALLY good
-fast forward to now (long chats, serious talks sex) and here we are.....three weeks later and still things are good.

I can actually see a REALLY good relationship coming out of this.
I want that... I'm seeing 4 other girls right now and have been cancelling on them cuz i dont wanna see them at the moment... this is the only one i miss.

problems.... shes out of a pretty bad relationship and doesnt trust people as much and seems to be in a "take it slow emotionally" state.... im also in the same boat.. almost had identical break ups.....hers was a few months ago... mine was a month and a bit ago...

she really likes me... and i her... we say it by "i kinda wanna get to know you" and "i like hanging out with you" and "what are you thinking about...."(referring to herself) etc... but netiher of us will come out and say... and i think we are both in the same boat like "if i say i want something more then it might scare her off" and viceversa... as well as "what about the ex"....

when she went home last night i said "dont go and take off now cuz thatd be disappointing" and she said" i think a lot i know but its good.. and im not running away i like hanging out with you..you dont have to worry about me"
when shes over we constantly kissing/touching as if were "together" already.. any of my play friends its pretty direct and after and before there isnt much snuggling or kissing.

so.. i think the best course is to just keep the dynamic as it is and see how it goes for another few weeks.... without bringing up the serious portion....maybe it'll happen naturally....only it seems shes realllllllly is worried that im not really into it for it rather than sex... so i dont want that to be creeping around and screw it up. and get the defensive "i dont think we should do this anymore"

i over think everything... hence im looking for some other advice... most long terms i take i usually am fine waiting a month before i bring up the convo.. this one.. is just going so well.. i want to asap... not like me usually....plus the other influences like i said....any solid ideas on how to deal?

thanks

whatever you do, dont start discussing "your feelings" or "where this is leading to"..once you do that you might burst the bubble and everything transcends from the emotional level to the rational one and she will start questioning everything.

keep it going the way it is..are you missing out on anything?! its your insecurity of losing her that wants you to chain her to you by wanting to get the security and reasurance you need from her by hearing that this is something serious.

keep on enjoying your time, this way you can sneak yurself into her heart and once in there you have what you wanted.

yea... i know. I'm not usually the type to ever bring it up, esp so soon... my last serious one was a year long and after 2 weeks, we were lying ni bed and she said "do you even want a gf?" and i said "....ya... i do." ...she said .. "me?" ...and i said... "i think so"... she said.. "well lemme know when you're ready for just me and im ready. you can decide" i said "nows good.." lol

there was no recent exes or any other drama at the time in the way..
its tough....
its not insecurity... i like progressing things to the comfortable relationship level quickly.. i always have... also its i want HER to feel secure.. cuz i can tell what she wants and wants to do sometimes but doubts whehter she should say it or do it cuz shes not sure...like "omg ive known you for like no time at all and look at me" ...and im like "dont worry...geez. you know me a decent amount" and shes like "well. some parts"... and im like "ya thas better than some of my "friends"" then.. "ok...."

but you're right in that its most likely a lot less of a risk to just let it flow... and have it come up naturally.. fr her.. providing things stay this way and get better.. there is nothing to lose letting it fall as it may.... i just need to distract myself when she isnt around.... thank god its almost snowboarding season


thanks for the reply.