Ok, a week ago my g/f and I got into an argument. Long story (see my other recent threads) short, she broke up with me last Monday because she was pissed. The next day she called me back, however, and we've been talking about everything ever since...

She's saying she misses me, and she cares about me and crap... but last night she was still upset about a few things and wasn't sure we were really likely to work out long term. (aka marriage) Also that she doesn't think I should be worried about that because I'm too young.

I think I mostly got through to her that I WANT marriage, doubts are a normal part of a relationship, placated her on the things she was legitimately hurt by... and reassured her that we have potential if we can work together.

Anyway, at this point I'm afraid of us getting into a non-ending cycle of these discussions and I want to break it. I think we've talked everything just about to death and said our peace on every matter... so now all that's left is dealing with it right? And I'm afraid that continuing these discussions will just mean we keep associating each other with painful conversations instead of the fun we normally have. (These conversations do tend to be interspersed with some regular talking and joking around though.)

But I've never actually gotten back together with someone before. The question is how do I do it? Should I just ask her to dinner next time we talk or something? Or should I keep trudging through these discussions until she says something...?

RUN

AWAY

NOW

If your relationship right now is essentially long, painful discussions, why the hell are you in it? You think you care about this one girl because you've emotionally invested in her over time. You can find a girl who's hotter, smarter, more fun, and more into you TOMORROW if you wanted.

Relationships are about two people having FUN. As soon as there is no fun anymore, why bother? Talking about things and trying to fix things and make sacrifices and compromises DOESN'T WORK. They just patch over underlying problems to hold marriages together "for the kids" or something shit like that. You can't really change people if they don't want to change themselves, and why bother? Why not find someone who already has the qualities you're looking for in the first place? There was a real reason she broke up with you before that wasn't just a total misunderstanding or an accident. Accept it, learn from the mistakes you made, and move on.

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The "real reason" is essentially a long-standing misunderstanding between the two of us. The relationship IS fun, we've just been angry with each other for a few days. Seriously, if all you care about is the next lay then you're way is fine... but if you actually ever want a relationship with a real person there WILL be bad times you have to work through.

Finally something Blondguy doesn't understand. "For the kids or shit like that"? Yeah...you would know as if you were married before.