| So I've never really found a good post on jealousy so I decided to write one myself. I figured it's a pretty important issue that we all go through and usually people on this forum just write "Don't be jealous," And that's the end of that. I figured rather than just posting a be-all end-all statement like "Never show signs of jealousy it shows your a *****," I would try and go a little more in-depth into it
Jealous behavior is the 2nd most common reason why guys get dumped in relationships in my opinion. You may not think it at first but it’s because you’re looking at the long tail of things. You see, guys don’t enter relationships insecure and jealous. They enter with confidence, feeling like James Bond for just bagging the girl they want. It’s only after a good amount of time has passed that our insecurities begin to settle in. As time passes, It gets harder and harder for us to hold onto our sanity. Every time your girlfriend goes out, thoughts of infidelity from a result of carelessness or over drinking flood your mind. As time passes, your mind becomes more uncontrollable and your insecurities become greater. Now begins phase 2. Your insecurities manifest themselves as over-protectiveness and generally psychotic behavior. As a result, your girlfriend slowly starts to lose respect and attraction for you. Finally, phase 3. The deterioration of attraction and confidence begins to highlight OTHER problems. You guys fight over missed calls and canceled dates. It seems that you two just weren’t meant to be with each other. You end up breaking up because she has too much “stress” from work. The truth is, her interest level has gone so far low she’s not willing to put up with you anymore. And to add injury to insult, you are no longer a breath of fresh air in her life, you’ve become one of the things that stress her out. The root cause of your break up was NOT her “work,” it was your insecurities.
Jealousy is NEVER a good thing on the side of men. For women, it’s different. If your girlfriend gets jealous or senses competition from another girl, it INCREASES the attraction she feels for you. Women want men who are wanted. It also feels good personally to know that your girlfriend likes you enough to get jealous (as long as it’s not overboard). But it doesn’t work the other way around. When a GUY gets jealous of ANOTHER guy, it DECREASES your girlfriends attraction for you and INCREASES her attraction towards the other guy. Your jealousy of some other guy is a sign that he is superior to you. And as a result, your girlfriend is naturally inclined to be drawn towards whoever you’re jealous of.
So you might be wondering, who cares if it decreases attraction? As long as your over protective behavior actually does keep her from cheating right? Wrong. You see, women aren’t like men. They don’t cheat because they’re “horny” the way men do. And we can see evidence of this in animals. Many bird species who are “monogamous” (two mates live together for their entire lives and raise children together) actually cheat on their mate. But while the males go around mating with whatever females they can find, the female only goes around and mates with the most DOMINANT male she can find. If there is no male more dominant than the one she lives with, then she won’t cheat. The male always cheats. The female doesn’t just want to have sex, she wants to have sex with the most Alpha Male she can find. People work the same way. Your girlfriend will never cheat on you because she made a careless “stupid” mistake the way you might. If your girlfriend sees you as a dominant male and her interest level is over 80%, she will NOT cheat on you. If it’s anything besides that, she might. And she’ll label her actions as a careless mistake, when in reality, it was from a lack of attraction.
The golden rule you need to remember in terms of jealousy is that over-protective behavior will NEVER prevent your girlfriend from cheating on you. The ONLY thing in this UNIVERSE that will keep your girlfriend from cheating on you, flirting with other guys, etc, is a high interest level. If her interest level is low, your girlfriend WILL fuk somebody else. Every single girl in the world has skills comparable to Houdini. They can escape any prison their boyfriends put them in to go fuk some other dude who they’re more attracted to.
Ok so.. wtf do we do? Always ACT CONFIDENT even if you don't feel like it. Be a ****in pro con-artist. Even if some guy with metallic balls twice as big as yours is talking to your girlfriend, don’t say ****. If your girlfriend is talking with other guys, talk to other girls. Make sure you DON’T tell her something like “can you please stop talking to other guys,” If you do, then you might as well donate your balls to charity. If your ever in doubt of what to do, ask yourself, “What would James Bond do in this scenario?”
Besides just acting confident, if you actually want to get over your jealousy problems you’re going to have to work on inner game and confidence. Jealousy is a manifestation of your insecurities, I e; your fear of competition and loss. This is perfectly countered with confidence which is just raw fearlessness.
Jealousy is a result of your insecurities, and if you act on it, it means you let your emotions control your actions. Very bad combination of personality traits, and also something that most chumps possess. Tackling your insecurities means doing a lot of things. Fight your social phobias by placing yourselves in all the situations you were always afraid of getting to. I e; approaching a group, talking to homeless people, speaking in front of a crowd. Gaining control of your emotions takes discipline and power over yourself. Work on it slowly, catch yourself before you get mad or emotional. Instead of thinking about how much of a **** hole your life is, or how you slip rat poison into your girlfriends drink, think about positive things and how to SOLVE your problems. Never look for a place to put the blame, only look for solutions. If you truly were Alpha, and you KNEW you were Alpha, then you wouldn’t be jealous. Jealousy is a problem that will solve itself if you work on yourself.
And on a final note, it’s not ALWAYS your fault. For the most part, it usually is. We’re all AFC’s at one point and we all have to train ourselves mentally to move past an AFC mindset. But, in some instances your girlfriend might just be a hoar. If your girlfriend shows disrespectful behavior, like heavy flirting and grinding with another guy at a club for thirty minutes and giving her phone number to him afterwords , then dump her. Seriously, don’t even think twice about it. I know it’s easier said than done, but believe me, it’s easier to dump your girlfriend and get through it than stay with a girlfriend who does shyt like that. I promise you, it’s much better to get over your fears of losing her than to have to live through a relationship like that.
Girls are like stocks, turn-arounds rarely ever turn around. Don’t get emotional and think straight with your head on your shoulders.
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CHAT
