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Backstory: This girl has been in my classes for a couple years, but very recently there's been a spark. Lately there's been plenty of flirtatious teasing, occasional touching, and her face lights up with one of those uncontrollable smiles now every time she sees me...so much so that her friends just look at her and giggle.
The Situation: So this girl invites me out for her 21st birthday at the beginning of the week. She constantly talks to me about it and how she can't wait to party with me. Friday rolls around and she texts me that she's pre-gaming at her house. I head out to the bar to meet up with some buddies and do a bit of pre-gaming myself. She texts me saying she parked and asks me where I am, but that's the last text I receive. She never shows up at the bar, but I shrug it off and have a good time anyway. I go barhopping for a little while, then I finally run into her at around 12am.
She's pretty drunk at this point, and is wound up tight in an equally drunken guy's arms dancing. I go up and say hey, and she seems super excited to see me. She tells me how she lost her phone and felt really bad that she couldn't text me. But this guy is all over her, and he is super clingy and protective because he kept trying to pull her away from me until she finally said "STOP! That's my best friend!" Ouch. After that, I instantly left her and started dancing with all of her friends. I ignored her until she eventually came up behind me (drunken dude still clinging on from behind) and started dancing with me. Her hands were all over me and she kept trying to lace her fingers with mine. I responded a little, but mostly kept my back to her dancing with her friends. I saw her kiss the guy a few times out of the corner of my eye, but she kept looking at me. Eventually, her girlfriends decided to pry her away from the guy for a little bit and go home (the guy ended up going with them). They were all mutual friends, but I could tell her friends liked me a lot more than the other guy.
I don't know if she's serious with this guy, or if he's just a friend who got lucky because he happened to be around when she got drunk.
So, what do I do next? I decided I wouldn't try to talk to her for the rest of the weekend (she texted me once saying it was good to see me the next morning, but I didn't respond...guess she found her phone). How do I treat her when I see her Monday? Do I give her a bit of the cold shoulder and say hey without giving her a big smile as usual? Do I just pretend like nothing bothered me and be my same charming self? Do I ask her to hang out and see what happens? I'm not one to get one-itis...ever, but I can't get this girl off my mind, and I thought for sure she was really into me before this weekend.
Hi man.
I am presuming you want more with this girl then just a one timer. And, deducting from what you have said, she is into you.
you can go playing around, ignoring her, until (perhaps) sooner or later she will come and ask you what is wrong and why you act all that. Dangerous situation that, because she knows damn well what is bothering you. If she asks, you can say that what she did that friday actually hurt you. As you like her alot.
Or you can be direct, not waiting for her to make another move because it is not sure that she will, you can address her, ask for a talk and talk about it. these feelings you have need to be cleared out. I mean by that: if you will keep on concealing your true feelings and try playing mind games, you will drive yourself nuts with insecurity about her feelings towards you. And in that way, you will lose the mind games (women outmindgame you in their sleep).
Its your choice, but no matter what, except what is coming. She might not feel the same thing as you do. but then at least you know and you can continue "pre gaming" somebody else (whatever pre-gaming is means if you can do it in your house
). But you know what i mean.
lots of luck and balls!
ciao
CHAT
