should I just ask her flat out what she thinks of me? why she flaked on me? what could i have done to not be a fuck up? It would be me being a total wussy, but i might get some education out of it.

it would sound really pathetic though seeing that this girl is 5.5 years younger than me...



i probably wont see her again ever. there will be chances to see her again but i dont think i will.







EDIT: a quick summary of this lame situation.

Girl I see everyday for work is really hot. I game her decently, could have been better. I always get her to laugh and talk and she is always coming in all dolled up.

everyone says it seems like she really digs me.
I ask her to hang out and be friends. she seems excited to. she bails. makes up a story that i am about 70-90% sure is a lie. i Brush it off as no big deal. she says she will make it up to me. never does.

she is the shyest girl i have ever met and will not say shit unless i do.

she is moving. I just want to get closure on why she is so unresponsive and never wanted to hang out. i would word it like this in a text(where her personality is alot more outgoing):

"Hey I would like to ask you a question for my own educational purposes only. I just want to know why you were always so dismissive/unresponsive/never wanted to be a chill bro and hang out. I am just curious here and encourage you to be as brutally honest as possible. you wont hurt my feelings"

i know i know. i sound like a big wussy. But i would get an answer, and im never going to see her again anyways.

She probably won't give you an honest answer, anyway. You're better off giving us a summary of what happened and let us analyze the situation. Save your integrity and let her go, in my opinion.

first of all respect yourself, don't ask her anything. I know you want to know, but that is not the right thing to do!

EVEN if you do ask, which could be the worst thing you can do, she will never tell you the real reason, quite simply SHE might NOT even know it! Basically there is no way finding out the truth that you are looking for.

The only way to find the truth of what is not working for you, is to try the same thing but with adjustments on different girls. In the end, you will feel the adjustments, and you will start figuring out yourself of what you did wrong in the first place.

Here is an analogy: You ask a girl, what do you like in a guy? Her answer: Sweet, nice guy. But in reality her pussy craves: danger, bad boys etc...

So even if she wanted to tell you what you did wrong, she would not be able to. And anyways, if u ask her, my bet is that she will not even reply to you, seeing how insanely desperate you are.

Here is some food for tought:

Last week I went out and met this hot girl. When I got home, I found out that I have the opportunity to "anonymously" check out her picures on facebook. You know what I did? I did not look at the pictures, even though I wanted to see perhaps she might of had a picture of her in a bikini. This left me with respect for myself. And next time I see her, subconciously my body language would be strong, because I did not look at her pictures. If I would of looked at the pictures, I think my body language would of been affected in some MICRO way, at possibly becoming a disadvantage to me.

ya i see what your saying. i am going to post a summary of what happened in my original post in a minute.

I know you want to ask her that question; we all would. But you have to trust me and just resist the urge, because I can promise you that you won't get a straight/truthful answer no matter what you do.

Judging by your story, it doesn't look like you did anything particularly wrong, although the story is pretty vague so I can't be sure. However, by the way you worded what you'd text her, I'm wondering if your "texting skills" had something to do with it. Maybe you came on too strong, or went the other way with it and played the role of the dreaded nice guy? I've also learned that when it comes to texting, girls don't like to talk about anything that is overly serious. So if your goal isn't to make her laugh or drop her a quick one-liner to make her smile, texting isn't the best option. And if you relied way too strongly on texting, it's possible that she lost interest for that reason. It's best to stand your ground and show confidence right from the start.

the things that i believe i did wrong were:

1) in the begining didnt create enough attraction and i had boring stuff to talk about. bad body language. slightly awkward. she is really reserved and shy so i didnt want to over step any bounderies. once i started negging her and giving her a hard time she loved it and threw it back at me.

2)I could have possibly went TOO MUCH on the negging and TOO MUCH and disqualifying her. honestly.

3)maybe because no kino??? but this is in the day in a business setting...

I know i didnt come on too strong(sexually) and i was definitely not nice at all. and we didnt text that much. only twice. once when i first met her and she was pretty dismissive. and then again the next week and we texted for like a damn hour. she is a teen. she likes texting and she acts a lot less shy


okay maybe i wont get a truthful answer but does that really matter? i still may get closure. remember that in the comfort phase showing vulnerability is okay. and i would just be asking why she never wanted to be "friends" not why she wouldnt be my wife.






EDIT: this girl is the type of girl who has a lot of males that are just friends in her life. her best friend is a male. from what i have seen, these girls tend to be the most outgoing around males and lead males on a lot and usually dont mind having another male friend in their lives. so why not me?

there are two things going on here. either i played some really really $hitty game, or she doesnt want to become too attached to someone too far away... i believe if i asked her, i may find my answer

Go ahead and ask her why you're not much of a pick up artist . . . hell, you do whatever you want to do anyways. Unfortunately, 'whatever the hell you want to do' isn't much helpful to your love life.

What is it with so many of you guys? (I'm not just picking out the OP)

You say you want _____ and ______ and ______. This forum has ALL THE RESOURCES in regards to pick up. A simple search in ONE NIGHT, a few notes, and some practice in front of the mirror can get you from open to close for practically ALL THE GOALS usually written here.

Yet, so many of you guys just keep repeating your crap and coming here telling us how nothing works. Now we actually have a poster who wants to nag a CHICK for why his game sucks.

I'm not disappointed at you. I'm disappointed for you. There isn't a person I've met in my life who hasn't affected it one way or another. Meeting people, knowing them, sharing with them . . . this is a gift. You lost one . . . and based on the way you described her, it sounds as if she could have been an influential and meaningful part of your life. This sucks.

Let it go. . . if whatever you've been doing isn't working . . .let it go . . . one night of 'search' is all it takes.

i agree with you 100%


the only thing is that im not in the position to go and do a one night search. or even do the noobie mission. or i would be all over it. its complicated but i just cant do that stuff right now. im hoping i will be out of my mess within the next few months and im gonna drill myself to death. but until then