Hi, it's my first post! So, it's a long one, but I'll try keeping it short. Never told anyone this in my life, so this will be my first time 'getting it out there'. Also, not allowed to post in the relationship section (as I haven't made my 20 post's) so feel free to move the post!

I had not had sex until I was 21. Basically, I had my first sexual activity (head) when I was quite young (14) and after that, and for some stupid psychological reason (which is for another post) I almost avoided sex until now.

About 4 months ago, it finally happened. I was away on a trip, and I hardly knew her. I didn't even know her name. Right now, she is my girlfriend, and I've got new problems!

A bit of background with the relationship- basically since we first 'met', we have been seeing a lot of each other. After 2 months, we had the 'making it official' talk, after she kissed another guy, and I told her I wasn't cool with it. It was really tough, and I was almost going to end it there. But instead we've kept going. After about 2.5 months, she said she loves me. I said nothing for about 5 minutes, then 'I think I might too'.... I KNOW! She's said it a couple of times, and I haven't ever said it back...

I care about her a lot, but I still am struggling with trust/the whole situation. I almost get depressed when we are apart. The fact I had sex with her so 'easily' downed my confidence. Then she told me how many guys she had slept with (18) and that's affected me even more.

Basically, nobody knows she was the first girl I slept with. Especially not her. I somehow have managed (after 4 months) to maintain a false cover of having slept with my 'fair share' of women (I said .

Now, there are 2 big issues- firstly, I can't see any point in telling here the truth about me never being laid before. What's the point?

I'm having so much trouble trusting her- maybe it's because she's been with so many guys (18- too many?) Maybe it's because she kissed another guys after 1.5 months of us seeing each other? To her credit, I haven't noticed anything sus, and we sleep together a lot (3 times a day, 5 times a week usually), but I'm still finding it so hard to trust her

Would I be reasonably in suggesting one of the only reasons I'm into her so much, being because she was my first lay?

Be kind, I'm a total newbie to this place!

Well....I understand where you're coming from about having a certain connection with the person you first have sex with. While if you tell her she'll sympathize with you, it's best just to leave this one alone. For one reason, bringing this up will show to her that this is a big deal to you, and that she'll realize just how attached you are to her, which is always counter-productive.

There's nothing wrong with feeling this way and if things are going good between you two, then what she doesn't know wont hurt her.

As for you feeling apprehensive towards her when she's been with so many guys, that's another feeling that's perfectly normal when you yourself haven't been with many women. I was the exact same way. For my first time I wanted someone who was, what I considered, more "clean". I kick myself in the ass now about but that's what I felt.

I wouldn't worry about it too much either. Your gonna probably hook up with alot of girls in your life. Would you want your steady to give you grief over long past hookups? Probably not, and as long as you and her are being faithful to each other and having a great time, thats all that matters. If she's experienced, she can show you a few things too

Just enjoy the good times man, and if she's being unfaithful, kick her ass to the curb. If I can offer one little bit of advice, you haven't been in this relationship long. Keep yourself in check. Dont get too emotionally attached in her, Not that im suggesting anything bad about her, but investing too much in general is bad. Stay calm and cool. Always!

Solteris, thanks for the response.

"what she doesn't know wont hurt her." I agree here. I don't really see it as achieving anything if I tell here, except, like you said, that I'll be even more attached to her.

As for her being with so many other guys, I just need to find a way to get over it. I tell my self "I'm with here now" and that the past is the past... But it's not sticking! I was over it for a few weeks, and then lately it's started annoying me again. Argh it's all in my head, I know this!

Unfaithful- but I'm finding myself getting a bit paranoid about it because she did break the trust once. Since then, I haven't really reasonably suspected her, besides 1 incident. She was out with work friends, said she's come see me after. I called, she took ages to answer, when she did, she was in a silent room. Said 'Helllo?', and then it cut out. I tried calling her back another 10 times, then 20minutes later she called and came to my house. I asked what happend, and she claimed she was really drunk (which she was when I saw her) and that she couldn't even remember which club/pub I called her at... I think I'm being way o paranoid here, am I right?

"you haven't been in this relationship long. Keep yourself in check. Dont get too emotionally attached in her"

This is a big point, and I don't think I've stuck to it well. I mean, I try to maintain some mystery, and I've never said 'I love you' back to here, but generally I give all my time to her, I'm really thoughtful, buy her drinks/food, and I'm always telling her how amazing she/her body etc is - showing that I'm SO impressed (which I know is a no no).

Can you suggest how to emotionally disengage myself? To make matters way worse (and I didn't to say this before, because I didn't want it to blur judgement, and I'm all about enjoying the 'now' anyway) in 4 months, I'll be shipped overseas for 1 years. And no- not really considering a long distance relationship, just hoping I won't be emotionally attached when I leave! IE I really REALLY have to stop my self getting too attached! Help!