Hey,

I started a thread a while ago about a girl i met in a club, eveything was going well, hung out for like 2-3 hours, but at the end of the night she said she had a bf in a different country. Well I met this girl again in the same club and she was instantly really into me and we kiss for a while (didnt kiss 1st time, i expect cos she didnt want to cheat on her bf).

So here is the problem: I live in a city in China where there is a very limited number of western girls (I'm not bothering even trying anything with Chinese girls as few of them speak english and the cultural differences make things really weird and confusing). I would guess there are only maybe something between 500 and 1000 westerners that go out to bars and clubs. I've noticed that each time I go to one of the few clubs i will see lots of faces I recognise.

Anyway, this girl is definitely the hottest girl I have seen since I've been here (2 months), and she seems really nice and we got on really well both times we met. Since the second meeting I texted her and this went back and forth a while and I arranged to go get some dinner the following weekend. She seemed very keen. The night before she flaked on me - too much work she said (she is a student). Today she texted after 3 days silence with "Hey, how are you? " and we had another few texts.

I'm sure she likes me, but i get the feeling she is just leading me on. Perhaps I'm being paranoid. Either way I dont know what to do. I assume the normal advice would be to not be needy and to continue going out and meeting other girls. I have been getting lots of attention from girls too, something I am not used to as I only discovered the pu community a month or so ago and before that was complete afc. Sadly I cant go and game these other girls if I want something to happen with this one, as if I do she will likely be there when I go out, or may know the girls that I try to game.

Ideally, what I want is to see this girl while I am in China, 3 or 4 more months, i.e. I'm not just trying to lay her. But I dont want to spend the next few months completely alone, hoping something will happen with her and then it never actually happening. So... what do I do???

Oh here are a few things that make it worse!:
- I work weekends, she has class monday to friday, so the only time we are both free is the evening, and every morning one of us has to get up early to work
- I live in some rediculous place on the edge of town
- I definitely dont have high social value because working these crappy hours means it really hard to make friends (noone goes out during the week so I have been heading out to bars and clubs on the weekends borderline sober, and sometime on my own, trying to make friends/meet girls as I have no other option)

Ok. so please help - really dont know where to go from here!

Cheers

So should I say we should meet this weekend and go for dinner or meet at a bar, for example?

Ok, so I texted her saying we should go for this meal this weekend. If she cant make it or flakes I'm thinking i'll just reply something like "Ok cool. Well might see you around sometime." and then stop texting her (I definately will see her im sure since there are very few places to go out here). Basically I want to know if something is gonna happen, cos if its not and shes just leading me on I need to know so I dont waste my time pursuing her. Is this a good idea? What other options do I have?

??? Advice please!

When your around her make sure she sees you in a sexual way and not a friend - kino! the magic word! dont be scared to escalate, dont be too afc and respectable

If she isnt interested, you get the same result as being too concerned over the result and playing it safe!

'No' and 'lets just be friends' dont mean the same thing ... well in the context when she says ljbf you are ruled out as a sexual partner - usually permanently, no means that she knows you see her sexually but just not at that time, and a NO is better than doing nothing! Ya need to push her as far as possible (obviously not in some sex attacker way lol)

sorry I ramble and im sure there is better advice out there haha!