I’ve searched around and it doesn’t seem apparent that there is a mission on getting over the anxiety of inviting and entertaining people round your house.
How do you de-sensitise yourself to this anxiety in small steps to the point where you are less concerned about your ability to entertain/ enjoy the company of near complete strangers in your own home?
Need to overcome this before I can think of inviting girl round for dinner etc.
Obviously have started on inviting neighbours round and relatives don't count.
Only thing is you can go round saying hi to loads of people and getting rid of AA but you cant exactly invite every tom dick and harry round in the same way to get rid of AA. What think anyone?

Don't live in "shouldland".

Somebody on this forum told me when it comes to anxiety problems, that we have to do things and learn from mistakes, I guess we can't always depend on preventive maintanence, we gotta take risks.

I get the impression, you can start a conversation, but you're still really anxious in public around people, then trying to bring them into your house only intensifies what is still there.

Don't go around just saying "Hi" to strangers, start conversations, don't invite people to your place until you get the first part down COMPLETELY. If you or they want to take the party somewhere else, say that you can't cuz your brother is visiting your small ass apartment and he's a weirdo... some bullshit excuse that sounds reasonable and doesn't make you look like a creep. Her place is an option too, or some other public location.

First time I went sarging I had mad AA, but my goal for that night was to look like a fool infront of 5 sets, and you know what by the 3rd I could have tried going for the number but I just left. I went home that night a success, because I achieved my goals. Set goals you can achieve and you'll never get discouraged and you'll always be improving.

Post some flyers around your neighborhood and host a house party... idk. I wouldn't want my shit getting fucked up by random strangers.

What exactly is it about visitors that gets you worked up, what are you worried they might do? Whatever it is just tell me... Close your eyes and try to imagine your place filled with random people, what are they doing, there are so many people and you don't know any of them, they are walking around going into every room and every drawer, what are they looking at, what are they touching? Think back to the first time you had guests and they caused you to get stressed out and anxious, maybe its something from when you were little and you lived with your parents still, some event or person in your past. Let me know

I had a think and the feeling seems to set on when living at parents, my 7 yr older brother always said I was wrong about my opinions which made it impossible to be positive about my own wants and style.
Apparently if you're told something repeatedly (like you're wrong or an idiot) you believe it even if it's bullshit. Think I was a threat to him in that house (as he was lone child for so long) and has left me with this uncertainty about myself and beliefs.
There we all got shit to deal with this is mine. And if anyone tells me to snap out of and get real .....well your probably right.

Nobody is telling you to deal with it, the truth is you don't have to. You don't have to keep drinking from that stale old OJ container, you can reach into the fridge and crack open a clean fresh one whenever you want. Every facet of our society drills into our heads that we are stuck with what we have, and its complete bullshit, and yet we believe it.

I want you to find that defining moment between you and your brother, and you probably already have it pictured in your head right now as you are reading this post, following word after word, letter after letter, and noticing not only the information being transmitted, but also noticing the vivid distinction between the black text over the crisp background. And as your eyes begin to focus increasingly more on the screen and the words contained within it, remember if you can that moment in your life, see it through your eyes, as if you are stepping back into those memories, stepping through the doorway and into the room. Suddenly the details of that moment come rushing back, like a flood of information. What do you feel, what do you hear, what do you smell, how fast is your heart beating and what thoughts are in your head at that moment? Stay with these thoughts for as long as you have to and really feel yourself going back and re-living that moment.

Now take a deep breath... ...and another. Take a minute or two to settle back down, some people can think of the last funny movie they watched with friends, remembering the corny jokes that made them laugh and forget about things that really did not matter to them. Now as you sit in that movie theater laughing and having a good time, the movie is suddenly interrupted. The screen goes blank, your friends take a joke from the movie and apply it to the shitty service in the cinema and you all laugh it off. Now the screen comes back to life, but its not the same movie. Somehow, a camera was in that room with your brother filming the entire ordeal. You had no idea, it was there the whole time, but watching it now on the screen infront of you, you become certain that its real, and as the detail in the film is revealed more... and more, your doubts as to its authenticity become less... and less. You are able to see this scenario play out infront of your eyes and your friends, sitting in this crowded movie theater, your friends and strangers surrounding you, in the most laughable and comedic SPAM you can remember. Now having a new chance to watch this scenario play out from a different angle you are able to observe the interactions between you and your brother from a third person perspective over your shoulder. Perhaps you notice things you missed when you only saw things through your eyes, but more importantly than anything, you notice how funny the situation actually is when you watch it in this context. Your friends in the cinema next to you laugh hysterically, and this time you laugh with them, even harder because you know they are not laughing at you or your past actions, but they are laughing at the situation, the actors on the screen. And suddenly you realize that an anxiety attack is the least appropriate response to a situation like this, because society does not criticize those who can laugh at themselves, and even though you forgot this, you now remember this important fact about yourself and the world around you. If you can laugh at yourself than no one will bother to mock and criticize you. Suddenly that old OJ container is gone, you search for it desperately but you could not find it even if you wanted to, all you have is a new container in your had the seal still intact under the cap, and if you want to you can reach out and tear the seal off, knowing that once you step forward into this action, it will lead to another and another...


Close your eyes and allow your conscious and sub-conscious minds to absorb and process the images and ideas which are already circulating though your thoughts. Remember to smile as you do so, because even if its inappropriate for the situation, smiling always makes you feel better, and the bigger you smile the better you feel.






Let me know if that did anything...