So I'm still starting out with SS, but I have a good general NLP base. I notice how everyday when I talk to people I notice more and more things that NLP discusses, so its really great to see that progression from day to day.
I've already made a post about this, but thought this deserved a new topic since there is now a different angle to the situation.
I've been flirting with one of my coworkers for a while now, the problem is that I'm not the only guy. They all come on strong and to the point, so I know if I want a descent chance at out-gaming, I have to use a different approach than them. I never compete with her, so if two other male coworkers are flirting with her heavily, and even if she seems really into it... I NEVER APPROACH or JOIN IN. Maybe when they finish, I will come up to her, once she's changed states, and I make her smile/laugh. Really simple, I just walk up to her, and with an even more serious look than her's I lean in sorta close, as if she has a huge zit that I'm trying to look at closely. And then I pull back and with kind of pleased grin/smile I say
"XXXX, I can see you're about to smile and maybe even laugh."
Works every time and sets an opening for a nice conversation. Sometimes I just walk away immediately so she has time to think about it on her own.
A couple nights ago, one of the guys has managed to get to first base with her (and a little more), but he told me not to bother with her, because she was kind of stuck up and didn't want to go all the way. After reading NLP and SS I know better than that poor schmuck. Women don't want to feel like sluts, and if you rush them, they will allow it for a while and then that mechanism kicks in, usually always before sex, some may go all the way. So from this I knew that if I want to get this girl I have to play it slow, I have to get her to beg for sex before I try anything funny.
So last night, at work, it came to my attention that me and her would be getting off around the same time. So I asked her if she wanted to meet me across the street at the bar, and just talk and hang out for a while... I told her I might let her buy me a drink. She laughed and touched my shoulder, and said sure why not. After a few hours she seemed like she was about to leave, and I said,
Me: Where do you think you're going? You still owe me that drink.
Her: I don't owe anyone anything!
Me: Oh okay.
I actually clocked out like 30min before her, and as I was about to leave, I came up to her one last time and said.
Me: Okay, XXX, last chance... Just so we can get a chance to sit down and talk without always being interrupted because we're at work.
Her: I can't I was just about to go eat. (we work at a restaurant and employees eat there)
Me: Okay.
And I left, went home pissed as fuck that it didn't work out, and ran for the books and started reading like crazy...
(I live with two other guys, we all work at the same place, GuyA is the one that already got to first with her. GuyB has a girlfriend.)
30 min later the front door opens, I her XXXX's voice call my name, and almost shit my pants... Then I hear GuyB and his gf. I come downstairs and apparently what happened was after I left XXXX felt bad for brushing me off, and approached GuyB and asked him if we (my room mates and I) were still planning on doing a little wine tasting that night at home. He said yes and she offered to go with them to the store and pick out a few bottles.
So we sit down at the table and just start talking, it all went great, after a bottle of wine, GuyB and gf, went to sleep. GuyA was still at work but I knew he would be home soon, and if I knew it she knew it. So we moved to the couch, and started talking abit, but she kept fidgeting with some receipt she found in her purse. Like total OCD style of folding it over and over again, and then starting over. She doesn't have OCD... The conversation actually stopped a little because I found it so annoying, she sorta avoided eye contact as much she could even though, I rarely looked away from her. Her body language said to go for it, but I've learned that patience is a virtue. GuyA comes home just on time because the conversation was getting kinda bland, she was focusing on something that was making her anxious and I wasn't gonna give in early. So when he got there I grabbed her phone, which she was also fidgeting with, and called my number from it, told her that maybe I'll call her sometime. Then told her she should go home and get some sleep otherwise when I see her in the morning she won't be any good... it was really getting late anyway. I asked her if she wanted help out to her car, but she thought about it for a while and then said no, with a sigh...
Today, I come in to work, and again had issues with finding the right moment where I can have a few minutes with her, without being interrupted like I usually am. I asked her, what kind of relationship she was looking for, and she said, that she just out of a 2 year and wasn't looking for anything just yet. But that I was a nice guy and that she enjoyed talking to me. I now knew that she had feeling for me, and that a connection was established. So I played a routine on her, I tried an anchoring technique from the SS book, and knew that alone would work, I didn't need to use NLP to first form a connection, I could just go for it.
So Conversational Anchoring, using "PERFECT" and touch on the shoulder and mind state of "absolute pleasure". I asked her if she was willing to help me get some practice on a parlor trick I recently found and thought was pretty cool. I told her she could imagine any situation real or imaginary, with her past boyfriends or anyone else, and to focus on that and make it as intense as possible.
Me: ... wouldn't that be feel great, don't you?
Her: What?... what was that supposed to do?
Me: Aw man, I guess it didn't work...
One minute later after she changed states I came back and tapped her shoulder. She started giggling, smiled big and said,
Her: that doesn't work.
Me: I disagree
Her: Well people usually don't touch me like that, so its just funny, I don't get the images in my head that you told me to think of.
Me: Well, ask anyone if its clear I get a reaction, when I touch your sholder (touched it again)
Her: Its just so funny, it doesn't work... giggles.
I spent the day just being very flirty and chatty with her, just giving her attention, just playing my usual self. Every once in a while I would go for the shoulder again and say "PERFECT" and each time I wold get the same reaction.
When the shifts changed and I was about to leave. I came up to her while she was doing some computer work... designing some company graphics and I said:
Me: XXXX, Listen, That looks great, its picture perfect. (As I said picture and perfect I drew a box around my face)
Her: What's that some more hypnosis?
Me: What are you talking about, I just complemented your work.
Then I went and told GuyA and some other male co-worker to touch her shoulder and say PERFECT in a sentence at the same time. The theory being that these guys both hit on her and flirt with her, and when they see that doing this makes her laugh, they will do it repeatedly thinking that it scores them points... but it only makes her think of me each time.
Just as I was finally leaving, apparently one of the cooks who came in touched her on the shoulder as he said hello to her, she storms up to me and accused me of telling him to do that, which I did not, but it demonstrated to me that the anchoring had indeed worked.
When I got home I sent her a text...
"Hey, just wanted to say, great job today! You really help make the minutes fly, especially on a otherwise awful day like today. (It was overcast and raining all day) Some people would call that perfect
"
Its been 2 hours and still no reply. I'm done using this anchor for sure, I'm already afraid it may have gone too far and pissed her off. But I did catch her on two occasions, massaging the spot on her shoulder... not sure what to make of that.
Any constructive criticism would be appreciated.
CHAT