| Hey guys, I'd like to get your opinion on this, this is kinda a Field report, but it's more a question:
Last weekend, I went to some sort of educational camp, because I'm doing a Rotary youth exchange program (I'm in my early 17s).
The thing that matters is that in this camp there were around 50 people my age, who are planning on doing this exchange trip too. One of them was a girl who is popular at my school (she is my age, but she is one year behind me), and I always liked her too but never talked to her, so when I saw her I thought why not, it was a really good opportunity. I had built social proof and made myself stand aside from the other boys there, but the thing is that before that trip, i read some of 60 years of challenge stuff, and my state of mind was more influenced by the Genuine and Humble frame and escalating the vibe concepts, so I kinda tried that frame with her, and the first time they introduced us I didn't talk much to her but I presented myself as a "sexual threat" (as 60 puts it), not just another afc or cocky and funny guy there, I used dominant body language and eye contact, which she really mantained as we talked, so I suppose she appreciates that.
As there were two other guys who tried to hit on her (One being my "best friend" there , who was a natural with a friend of everyone, funny guy frame), those two didn't get far, I think they way they acted, they were destined to LJBF.
The thing is that because of wanting to set myself apart from the two other guys by having a total different frame, I became kinda cold in the verbal part, and I didn't talk to her much or give her attention, although she even tried to reopen me two times later with situational comments and I just answered her in a kinda cold way and kept talking to the other people, I had some IOIs, but I don't know why, something I tend to do is not showing interest in the girls I like the most (I kinda superneg them). The thing is that by the end, as I never tried to create a connection with her, we didn't even say goodbye to each other when she left. I didn't blow it in an obvious manner (like saying something stupid or being rejected while doing physical escalation), but I didn't really game her either, I just did good body language, EC,didn't show interest in her (later I read that was the opposite of what 60 teaches, he wants you to show interest and not worry if she is attracted to you first), and didn't "break rapport" as 60 puts it, but i never tried to escalate to the IOM either.
The thing is, now when I see her at school, I want to say hi to her, (now that I have an excuse) and befriend her, or even something more, I kinda have a limerence for her and I could really use her companionship for gaining social proof and expanding my social circle too, I have the constant feeling that I blew it by not at least showing some attraction verbally, a compliment or something, it was a really good opportunity.
But enough of what ifs, the problem is the present, I want to approach her again and create a relationship, we have something in common (the camp, the exchange trip) and I kinda talked to her, but how should I do it, as how things are between us, (If there is even something there) maybe 1.she just wanted to make another friend and wasn't attracted to me, this means that if I approach her now i'd just go as that guy at the camp who didn't talk to her, and that would make my intentions very obvious, it's like I didn't befriend her at the camp and now I approach her at school as if we were friends, or 2. she was attracted but she gave up because of my apparent non-interest, so it would be a relief for her if i approached her at school.
At the camp, I also made really good pals with another guy, who also goes at my school and is a friend of her, so I could go that way too, reopening through mutual friends, because now that I kinda know her, I can't open her with a pick-up opener, I should be a stranger to do that.
That last sentence should abbreviate all the situation, I want to reopen her, but I can't use a normal opener, I really fucked up by not creating a relationship in the camp, and now I need to reframe all this so I can reopen her, I dont know if it's good or bad that she went to that camp and aknowledged my existence, I don't know if I killed my opportunity for good or now she sees me as a potential mate, I mean, the nonverbal game was there, I never did anything uncongruent, she didn't blow me out, and I kinda felt we had a connection, but maybe i'm just lying to myself, It's a weird situation, like an implicit Fuck up field report.
Maybe this situation could help other people understand highschool pickup, but my question is.. what should my frame be if I open her, I can't talk to her like we are friends from that camp because we are not, and if I go with the state of mind that she likes me and talk to her all the way with that conviction, like 60 said, "risk creepy", I feel I'm really risking that if I go to her with that frame, it's a really chancy way of opening her, like 50-50, maybe she doesn't like me and I lose for good my opportunity to build attraction. Any observation would be really appreciated.
By the way, I suggest reading 60 years of challenge, he's got a lot of new material that gives a different perspective and its really cool.
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CHAT
