Been on two dates with a girl, on our last (second) date, I made out with her two different times, and everything seemed to go great. I'm running into another problem here, TEXTING. I've hopped on this bandwagon of texting because all relatively young people are doing it. So I waited until today from my Sunday date to contact her. I use some humor before asking her out on a third date, get a message back quickly, send her a second message, don't get a response for hours (probably her at work in this time period, and when I got out of the gym I saw she had responded), so my next message to her was asking her out, and, once again, it's been hours and no response yet. I don't know if this is low interest (even though I made out with her two different times on our last date, and I could list more reasons why she doesn't, seem to have at least, low interst), her gaming me, or just being genuinely busy/not having her phone.

No ideas, huh?

She could be testing you, she could have lost interest. I mean its kind of tough to know without knowing the details of both dates other than you kissed her.

Date 1:

Met this girl 3 weeks ago Friday through a friend when he invited her and I to go to a party with him. She looked good so I did the usual sh*t, tease , flirt, C&F, kino , ect... We all go back to his place after the party and watch a movie, more of that game I just mentioned, and I felt that if my friend wasn't there it would have been easy to escalate further. Got her number that night, texted her Tuesday and set up a date for Saturday.

Took her to the nightlife part of my area, walked around a bit, she bought herself something to eat in a restaurant/bar, walked some more, and at one point she tells me her parents are out of town visiting her older sister. I suggest a movie at her place, she's down for it and we go to her place. We go to her "area" and start watching a movie on her couch. Same game, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Kino goes from my arm on the headrest of the couch and just touching her a little, to my arm actually being around her, then to my arm around her and the sides of our legs touching, then to her legs draped on top of my leg with my arm around her while gently caressing her right arm and left mid-thigh with my fingertips.

At some point I asked her, "did you have a good time?" just to get her to look at me so I could kiss her, and I touch the side of her chin with my hand and she says, "If I didn't you wouldn't be here at 1 am." So that was it right? Deep gaze, constant kino , hand on her face... So everything up till that point had been fantastic, and that's the reason I was about to kiss her. The simplest way I can put this is that I froze. Ugh, I HATE writing that and hope I will never have to write it again. Nothing BAD happened, but I didn't kiss her either. We watch about 10 minutes more of T.V. then, "I've gotta kick you out so I can wake up for work tomorrow morning." I was actually sick to my stomach when leaving because of what I HADN'T done. I tell her "it was fun," give her a hug, say "I'm sure I'll see you again sometime," and leave, having lost an insanely large amount of respect for myself that night[/u]

Date 2:


I picked her up at her house, also met her parents, who seemed cool. Took her to play mini-golf, and on the way to the place I realized I only had 4 dollars in my wallet (made jokes about this) because I had forgot to restock the cash earlier. So she had to pay and I told her I'd "make it up to her." It went well, focused on having fun there, which we did (don't feel like explaining every little detail of my game here).

Went back to my place, walked around the neighborhood and holy sh*t I must've hit a nerve when I asked her about dogs because she explained in detail to me about all six dogs she's had in the past. Go into my house to watch a movie, I have a drink but she didn't like Bailey's Irish Cream Alcohol. We watch some sh*t horror movie, which was perfect because we could make jokes about it. I get some kino going, slowly escalating to where I was last week. Movie ends, she gets up to use the bathroom, comes back and sits down with my arm around her. I tell her to "look at me" and I just f*cking went for the kiss and did it. Going to be honest and say that it wasn't any Hollywood "perfect kiss." It was quick, a bit awkward, and I felt like she was kissing fast. Whatever, she didn't reject it.

We watch some T.V. and at some point I change the channel from what she wanted to watch. She wants the controller, I don't give it to her. A little wrestling match ensues and she lunges over me on the couch to try and get the controller. At some point I say she's being a bad girl and slap her ass. Little more T.V. then it's time to take her home. I open her door to the car, but I stand in the way so she can't get in and say "so, you think you won in mini-golf, huh?" She says yeah or some sh*t, then I tell her no way (all while movie in closer to her) and kiss her again. This kiss felt so much smoother and better. It was slower and just... Better. Took her home and told her I'd see her again "sometime." End.

And we're up to where I am now.

Holy motherf*ck.. I just got friend-zoned. WTF happened and how should I respond?

Sorry it took me so long to get back to you..

Without knowing all of your body lang, to me it sounds like you didn't escalate properly. I really do think that is where things went wrong.

I'm not a huge fan of movie dates the first couple of dates, but at least you didn't go to the theater. Because you didn't go to the theater you had an opportunity to talk, seduce, and escalate and it doesn't appear you did.

I would have probably kissed closed her the night you met and if not then, for sure the 1st date and it would not have been at the end of the date.

When you asked if she had a good time and she answered you in the manner she did, I take that as maybe you didn't sound very confident. I would have preferred a more confident approach. In otherwords wording it in a way that you know she had a great time our not even ask because again, you know she had a good time.

You live and you learn.

So, tell me about hows you just got friend zoned. Since its early, maybe we can come up with a way to bring it back. I'm sure we can.

I'm actually not completely sure if it was that she wanted quick sex from me or not. I talked to the friend I met her through, and she had actually told me that she went out on a date with him a couple weeks ago on Saturday, which didn't bother me because I thought my friend was no competition at all. Anyways, I talked to him and eventually started asking him questions about him and this girl. He works with her, and has been hanging out with her like every day. The date they went on was an expensive dinner date and he paid the entire bill, unlike my dates where we walked around the nightlife part of town and played mini-golf and she paid. He also told me that two days ago they kissed and hung out all night, and SHE initiated it (may or may not be completely true), and she's been saying how she likes him because he's a "nice guy" and she told him that I was "full of myself." Also, she didn't consider the first date a date, she considered it a hang-out.

I still think it COULD HAVE BEEN that I didn't sex her up quick enough, but at the same time I'm thinking that she could be a nice more conservative girl, and that me not paying for the dates lowered her interest, and me being a bit cocky and using a lot of sexual innuendos and stuff like that lowered her interest (though she seemed to like all of it when we were together), or she may have actually thought that all I wanted was to get in her pants so she had second thoughts about me and dropped me by using LJBF. This could be possible because let's take a look at my friend. He not only works with her, but he's been hanging out with her everyday for over a month now and until recently he hadn't even kissed her. I also noticed him white-knighting her a bit when we all went out and I first met her. So look at this situation, my friend, who is shorter, not as good looking, a guy she considers a "nice guy," much less well built, who has taken her out to a boring dinner date (paid the entire bill too) and been hanging out with her everyday and didn't even kiss her until 2 days ago, gets chosen over me.

But who really knows. I didn't escalate enough or quick enough - possible. She thought I just wanted to get into her pants or didn't feel like I cared about her and had second thoughts or lost interest - possible. I'll never really know for sure. I sent her one last text then deleted her number and all of her texts.